London Girl Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I got to know a guy via internet dating over a year ago. But we never actually met or even spoke because at that time of my life I was still not over my ex and was using internet dating to boost my self esteem. Anyhow I got to know this guy but I must admit I was quite flaky with him - we had arranged to meet a couple of times but I always cancelled as I was just not ready emotionally for a relationship. He was interested in me and I was making silly excuses to put him off by being over-fussy like I thought he was too slim for me (I know, very shallow of me!). Anyway fast forward just over a year later, I'm in a much better mind frame emotionally and ready to date someone and I just cannot seem to get this guy out of my head - perhaps it's because I never got to meet him. I found out he was still on the dating site and because I know his work address, I sent him a short hello email asking how he is and if he wanted to meet up finally. To be honest I did not think he would reply but he did a week later. His email basically asked how I am and that he's off to Tokyo for business and then skiing so he said perhaps we could meet up when he gets back in February. I replied back saying it would be nice to finally meet and asked him some random questions about how his New Year was, about this forthcoming trip etc. but he did not reply back. He also knows I am back on the dating site and asked how I was getting on with this. Do you think this guy is still interested or is he just being polite? Should I remind him about meeting up when he gets back in February or should I wait for him to respond to my second email which he had not replied? I don't want to come across clingy either. Any advice appreciated.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Honestly, Im surprised you got an reponse back. Over a year is a really long time. I would wait until Feb and see if he contacts you. If he doesnt then send him an email saying hi. If he still dont respond then forget about him. next time when you make plans with him , make sure to follow through.
latefragment Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 the same thing happened to me. I "met" a guy online in 2006 but he was always very flaky, breaking plans and making excuses, so we never met IN PERSON until 8 months later. I was stupid enough to meet him in person, and we went on a bunch of dates, spaced very far apart (flaky guy) ... it turns out he is just after sex (got angry at me when I balked since I said I didn't know him well enough.). If I had to do it over again, I might not have ever given him the time of day when he finally wanted to meet up. HOWEVER, you are a different case. I don't think you would treat him as badly as I got treated (I left out some very, very mean things that he did to me, it was almost abusive, and after just a few dates, WTF) ... so , hopefully, if you persist and follow through with meeting him in person, you can finally lay it to rest whether you guys will click in person. I am hoping for good luck for you.
Author London Girl Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 I know, I did not think he would reply either. No doubt I must have damaged his ego but to my defence although it came across selfish of me I was just not ready for a relationship as I was still seeing my ex now and then. However, my ex is now out of the picture and I am definitely ready to move on and start fresh with a new guy (hopefully with this guy). I want to explain the reasons to this guy why I behaved the way I did. I just don't want him to think that I am messing him around. He told me in his email to me that he is taking himself off the dating site as it is just not working out for him. He seems a genuine guy and I hope I have not messed up.
Author London Girl Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 gosh I'm sorry to hear about your experience with on-line dating latefragment! Recently I met a guy in October 07 on the internet and we dated for 2 months but he became flaky and dumped me because he said he was not ready for a relationship as he had only been single for 5 months before meeting me. I last saw this guy on New Year's Eve, he said he will call me but I'm still waiting!! He kind of reminds me of how I was over a year ago. He is still active on the dating site apparently he finds chatting to girls fun but does not plan to meet them. Anyway going back to this other guy in 2006, so you think it is okay for me to drop him another email when he gets back in February? My friend works at the same company as he does and met him briefly once and said he was a genuine nice guy. I am that stage where I've been messed about in the past with emotionally unstable guys with baggage that I just want a normal nice guy to date with the potential to go long term.
latefragment Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 London Girl, yes, definitely drop him another email when he gets back in February. Perhaps even say what you said to us here ... in that email, explaining why you had trouble making concrete plans with him. I mean, it would be best to say it in person, however, he may not want to give you the time of day. I would almost ... send him an email now... ??? I know you sent one to him that he didn't reply to, but ... it is sort of your turn to chase, since you kind of "rejected" him a bit... so... If I had received, after 8 months of head games (OMG, never again!), an email saying, listen, I'm sorry that I flaked on you the last few times we were supposed to meet (HIS IDEA to meet in the first place)... but I was going through some personal stuff with an ex and I felt it wouldn't be right to see you at that time. I apologize for "leading" you on and lining up dates, but I have truly moved on at this point and I would really love the opportunity to finally meet in person" I would have really respected that and I would've been happy to meet him. As it was, the experience colored our meeting. I mean, our first meeting was like, one of the best first dates I'd ever been on.. however, the WHOLE TIME, I was thinking, "THIS is the guy who flaked on me... like FIVE TIMES!!! CAREFUL!!!" Anyway, that's just my two cents. By the way I was in London in September right before fashion week and it was gorgeous!! oh and thanks for your empathy regarding the horrible online dating scenario. I almost NEVER do online dating (very rare when I do so) and this is probably one of the reasons why. LOL.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Do you have his phone number? If so, I'd suggest calling him in February. Show more interest and true desire to meet up.
Recommended Posts