Jade 02 Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 (edited) He says I have to stay married to him,just cuz we are on paper,and legally married. He drinks morning noon,and nights every single day,and I cant take it any more. I own this home,and my mom paid for it(after we got married only cuz,I have been clean,and sober for 3 and a half years. He is trashing this place puting holes in the house,and yelling all the time(that why I stay here on my pc) The yard looks like an antique sale. He says I am stuck,and have to put up with this ,is this true?(as far as being married to a drunk) I quess I cannot give my mom her money back for the house till I get my **** together huh? or give it back to her at all?(no sh is not aking for it back,she has no idea whats going on. We sleep in 2 different rooms for way over a year,with no sex,and no I have never cheated,and would not care if he did cheat.(No sex for 3 years on my side)(sad huh seeing,im not a bad looking bitch) Im his 4th wife,I should of known. He use to have money,and a house on the beach,and a yacht,and he slowly drank it away. I would stay if he would quit drinking, frigg the money.(the other pretyy wives used him for money till it was running out. Sorry for so long,but would appreciate any comments,even the smart ass ones HA!!! Ok have a great day yall. Thanks Edited January 24, 2008 by Jade 02 spelling of course
PWSX3 Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 You can't help an alcoholic quit drinking, that is something they have to do on there own, so you have to decide if you want to live like you are or move on? You might want to talk to a lawyer & see what your options are legally, but no one "HAS" to stay in a bad marriage specially when there is abuse happening. I am very sorry to hear your story, you sound like a prisoner in your own home. Hopefully you will get better advice from people that have been threw this type of situation..
sally4sara Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 He cannot deny you a divorce, but for you to get one without his consent you will need to be able to show two things: 1. that you have not resided together for a year. Have a witness to attest to this. 2. that there have been no sexual relations between the two of you for a year. Same thing with the witness deal. Does he ever get physically violent with you? You can have him removed from the house if he does and get a restraining order immediately. Otherwise, you will need to move out. Can you try selling the house back to your mom for $5 or is he on the deed too?
Ronni_W Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 The one year non-residency, non-sexual contact is accurate but may be able to be accomplished even when both are under the same roof -- check with your lawyer for information for your jurisdiction. In my case, I made a formal statement to my now-ex (I'd suggest a dated, written note...and keep a copy) that "as of this date I consider us separate and apart" -- again, ask your lawyer for wording that will be accepted by the courts in your area. As has already been suggested, take back control of your life and do what is in your best interest. The power to do that is within you! Best of luck.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 A woman can compete with another woman but never will win over the bottle. Say goodbye and more on.....from him.
Meaplus3 Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 He says I have to stay married to him,just cuz we are on paper,and legally married. He drinks morning noon,and nights every single day,and I cant take it any more. I own this home,and my mom paid for it(after we got married only cuz,I have been clean,and sober for 3 and a half years. He is trashing this place puting holes in the house,and yelling all the time(that why I stay here on my pc) The yard looks like an antique sale. He says I am stuck,and have to put up with this ,is this true?(as far as being married to a drunk) I quess I cannot give my mom her money back for the house till I get my **** together huh? or give it back to her at all?(no sh is not aking for it back,she has no idea whats going on. We sleep in 2 different rooms for way over a year,with no sex,and no I have never cheated,and would not care if he did cheat.(No sex for 3 years on my side)(sad huh seeing,im not a bad looking bitch) Im his 4th wife,I should of known. He use to have money,and a house on the beach,and a yacht,and he slowly drank it away. I would stay if he would quit drinking, frigg the money.(the other pretyy wives used him for money till it was running out. Sorry for so long,but would appreciate any comments,even the smart ass ones HA!!! Ok have a great day yall. Thanks I really feel for you. There is really is NO way for you to help him put down the booze... He need's to do that himslef and the first step is to admit that he has a problem. You say you would stay if he quit drinking...I assume you still love him? AP:)
Author Jade 02 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Wow thank you all!! PWXS3 thanks,and I do so feel like a prisoner in my own home,Ha have to sneak out of my room to get a snack,so he won't wake up,and crack open a beer,and Lord knows what comes next. Lawyer is probably the best way to start. Sally hey thanks ,um does him living in the quest room,well will that be considered residing together as a married couple?,and thre has ben no sex since Jan 2005 for us. Yes he also has been violent but he leaves no marks on me(hes been through that in the past with other I'm quessing,and there are still holes in my walls from him. No he is not on the deed,just I am,Do ya really think I can sell this back to mom for 5 bucks,witout his name on the deed? Another good Q for the lawyer thanks. Hey Ronni Thanks what a great thing if that is true about your first sentence,I will also do that note on paper,but I don't think he will sign it,I do believe he wants me miserable. Serious! Thank you for you good luck wishes Ha I need em. And the strength too. Hi Blue eyed again,nice to see ya again,so true,so true but Darn,I want out,If he'd only just peacefully leave,he can do whatever he wants with noone to bitch at him,he wants me unhappy,and miserable. How can a 52 year old man act like this,I dont get it. he needs to MOOOVE OUT,and he knows I quit drinking,and want to keep on growing and doing good,but does not care. I have said buy to him,Fyou!!!,and evrything in the book,and he still stays. He comes from money big money,and I never had anything untill God gave my mom something,and mom shared with me,and its not much,its just a mobile home,but its all I have,and he knows it. He can have what ever he wants from his family. He just couldnt leave me homeless.. Could he?? Frigging squash brain he is from so much booze. He cant drink like that forever without something bad happening soon,Its been too long now,and 1 kidney,shoot he needs to quit but like Answerplease says only he can put the bottle down,just like I did. OMG he just woke up getting ready to crack another ARRRRGHHHHH I cant take this anymore in my lil home. Thank you all,I got some thinking,and doing to do,gosh wher do I start,get him to smack me so I can get a restraining order cuz this is my home,and I can take a lil pain. Its the only thing I can think of right now wheree I can keep my only place to go.
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