D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I am tired of this guy I have been dating... he has been hot and cold...he says "I want you- don't move on... wait for me.... " then he goes absent for a while. Then comes back... I am done waiting. I have his stupid hat- and he loves this hat and wants it back. I am mailing his hat back to him tomorrow so I can be rid of having this symbol of his presence in my house. What is the best way to handle this. Keeping in mind.... I still like him a lot- but don't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that. I like him yes, but he is hot and cold with me...and I am done with that. Still a little hurt- but don't want to come off that way. Mailing back the hat is a way for me to say I am done with his games and don't want him coming here to get it. Sooo.... to have maximum impact- that keeps my dignity in tact, what should I do. Send a text saying "I am done waiting- hat's in the mail.... or.... just send the hat and say nothing at all. I want him and his stupid coveted hat out of my life. But I want to handle this with the least amount of drama- but the maximum impact. Silence? Just send it?
Pyro Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Mail him his hat and end it, but if you want to say something, then tell him to call you when he knows what he wants, but that may egg him on. I say don't call him and ignore him until he is ready to be exclusive.
Touche Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Ok, seriously? I'd throw the hat in the garbage and never talk to him again. But that's just me. I'm a Goddess. And that's what Goddesses do.
Leia Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Ok, seriously? I'd throw the hat in the garbage and never talk to him again. But that's just me. I'm a Goddess. And that's what Goddesses do. *hails the Goddess* I would throw it away even if I liked him lots. I'd throw it away coz he's acting hot and cold.... I can't stand that!
Author D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Ok, seriously? I'd throw the hat in the garbage and never talk to him again. But that's just me. I'm a Goddess. And that's what Goddesses do. I'd love to pretty one- but he asks for the hat ALL the time... and I'd rather have it out of my hands. I feel like droppijg that sucker in the mail is closure for me- I was just wondering if the hat should arrive just :as is- no letter- or with a note.
Leia Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Just send it off without any letter or note attached to it. That will tell him that you're moving on. You did say you're done with it....
Author D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Mail him his hat and end it, but if you want to say something, then tell him to call you when he knows what he wants, but that may egg him on. I say don't call him and ignore him until he is ready to be exclusive. That's what I was thinking. That just simply sending it without a note or explanation is still making a statement. He gets it- probably expects a heartfelt note...at least something- but nothing is there- just the dirty hat wrapped in brown paper. Does that make a statement at all?
Author D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Just send it off without any letter or note attached to it. That will tell him that you're moving on. You did say you're done with it.... Yeah- totally leaning towards that method. It sort of says- I'm done- without actually having to say it.
Touche Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 That's what I was thinking. That just simply sending it without a note or explanation is still making a statement. He gets it- probably expects a heartfelt note...at least something- but nothing is there- just the dirty hat wrapped in brown paper. Does that make a statement at all? Yes. And I agree with Leia. Do that, and you're still part Goddess. Send it back with no note. It would send a big message for sure.
Pyro Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 That's what I was thinking. That just simply sending it without a note or explanation is still making a statement. He gets it- probably expects a heartfelt note...at least something- but nothing is there- just the dirty hat wrapped in brown paper. Does that make a statement at all? Yes it shows that you have no feelings towards him.
SeraBella Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I would think sending it back without a note or any contact would have the best impact and say more than you could ever say with words.
Leia Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Yeah- totally leaning towards that method. It sort of says- I'm done- without actually having to say it. Yip! Send the hat wrapped in newspapers. That's it. Not brown paper BUT newspapers!
marlena Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Just the hat, no note. Yes, that's what I would do.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I'd send it with postage due from the recipient. Kinda like a COD.
Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Aren't you gaming him back again D-Lish? Why not be direct? "I'm tired of waiting so it's time to move on. I still have your favourite hat and want it out of my life. We can do this one of two ways. I can mail it to you or leave it for you outside my door. You decide."
Author D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Aren't you gaming him back again D-Lish? Why not be direct? "I'm tired of waiting so it's time to move on. I still have your favourite hat and want it out of my life. We can do this one of two ways. I can mail it to you or leave it for you outside my door. You decide." No- because no matter what I don't want him back in my life...and I think if I say ANYTHING...it could start a dialogue that I don't want to happen. (It's about staying strong). If I tell him I am tired of waiting- he'll just go hot again....which would be temptation I don't want to fight. If I say it's outside my door- he'll come get it... and I'll have to see him. I guess the sending of the hat is a sort of ritual closure for me. I like him lots- but it's time for this D to grow up and date men who appreciate me. Okay- so newspaper, COD, noteless. I love you guys. Thanks. D
Freddy Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I send it bad in a box full of of trash(with fish guts). Then he will get stinking hat back. LOL
MakeLemonade Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I wouldn't send it COD, that implies strong feelings and you want this to be considered a neutral act I am getting from your posts, kind of an, I'm neither here nor there but done kinda thing? I think the COD part is kinda like sending a note. Might want to just spring for the postage, that would be the most uninterested way to send it, I think.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I would throw the hat away and forget him. If he every brings it up or if you see him, just say, "nope, haven't seen it." Best way to end is no contact - he may think it's a way to communicate if you send back even without a note.
Author D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 I wouldn't send it COD, that implies strong feelings and you want this to be considered a neutral act I am getting from your posts, kind of an, I'm neither here nor there but done kinda thing? I think the COD part is kinda like sending a note. Might want to just spring for the postage, that would be the most uninterested way to send it, I think. LOL, no, I really never was going to send it COD, I was kidding about that. I couldn't throw it out. He loves the ratty thing- and I don't hate him or anything... I just want to have it over with. I'd feel bad if I threw it out, because he isn't a horrible person- just misguided, and frankly, just not that into me. I can deal with that. I couldn't throw his hat away just because he doesn't like me the way I wish he would. That's my problem the way I see it- not his. I'll pop it in the mail today or tomorrow- just without a note or explanation. It's the looking at it that bugs me....
swansong519 Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Aren't you gaming him back again D-Lish? Why not be direct? "I'm tired of waiting so it's time to move on. I still have your favourite hat and want it out of my life. We can do this one of two ways. I can mail it to you or leave it for you outside my door. You decide." Speaking as a fella... I hate ambiguity. The hat with no note would just raise questions for me...questions i would want answers to, which would necessitate me contacting you to get them... Now...if you soaked that sucker in hot water until it was a size or 2 smaller and then sent it back...I might get the message...a subtle comment on his smallness of mind....
Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I still don't understand you D-Lish. You're tired of waiting and don't want big drama or future communications with him and yet, you want to ship his hat back to him with no note? I'm guessing this will cause him to call you so I'm uncertain how you feel it will be a form of preemtive strike, without some kind of finality note attached.
marlena Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Sometimes silence speaks louder than words! No?
swansong519 Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Sometimes silence speaks louder than words! No? Absolutely...but many people hate "loose threads". They feel the need to pick at them until they're satisfied things are symetrical again. And if D-Lish's ultimate goal is to end this relationship, a hat with no note might just cause this to drag out longer than she wants...
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