Elmarbrock Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Okay, I'm a newbie here so I'm going to tell my story from the beginning. My gf and I met in college during my junior year. We began dating and eventually graduated from college. After college, we had a relatively long distance relationship; I lived about an hour drive from her. We are both in grad school and could only see each other on weekends, when we'd spend the bulk of our weekends together. We were together for about a year and a half after graduation and then we broke up. We were both having communication issues (i.e., "we weren't communicating enough."), and also I needed my space. I felt that at times she was too constricting and at times prevented me from having my own life. We decided (it was kind of mutual) to take some time away from each other. The break up was last March, March of '07. Since then, we have been keeping in touch through email and phone calls. I met her once since the break up in November, when she confided in me that it might take her "3 months or 6 months" if she wants to get back together with me. I'll be honest here, I wasn't exactly playing the "wait-and-see" approach for the bulk of the break up. I had been the one initiating the contact and emailing and calling her. Fast forward to December. She "dated" a guy for four dates (I'm not really sure this is dating), and then broke up with him on 19 Dec. because she didn't feel that relationship was going anywhere. Since then, I have been less available (i.e., going out more with my own friends) and therefore have called her less. In fact, the last 4 times or so, she has been the one initiating contact. During our last few phone conversations, she makes it a point to apologize to me for "inhibiting" me, "constricting" me, and "for acting like a b**ch during the break up". She tells me that it was her boyfriends that made her aware of her tendencies. Our last phone conversation ended with her reminding me to "email or call [her] more often." She says all this at the same time asking "if we're okay" and she tells me that she's "happy as friends." Bottom line: I still have very deep feelings for her and would like to be back with her. And I get the impression that she thinks I'm okay with this "friend" thing, but deep inside I'm not. I try to hold back my feelings every time I'm on the phone with her, because I don't know how she'll respond. Based on what I stated above, what should I do? Do you think there's any chance to get back with her, for I love her with all my heart? How do I go about doing that? The conundrum is that either she's wanting to work things out gradually, or using me as her "emotional towel" so she can work through her own issues with no regard for my feelings. Should I just ask her what her motivation is for apologizing? Thanks. Any help is greatly appreciated.
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