schweetpea Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I live in NY. I have been separated from my H for 1 1/2 years. We are not legally separated or divorced yet. We are not on good terms with eachother at the moment. I still have a key to the house we lived in. He knows this and has never requested I give it back. I went to the house while he was at work, without his knowing and packed up some of my things and took them. I understand that whatever was acquired during marriage is joint property but these were personal belongings with sentimental value to me and such....Baby toys and clothes of my son's, gifts from dead grandparents, my clothing items, etc. How illegal is this? Am I in trouble?
Geishawhelk Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Is the house in joint names, or just his? If it is in joint names, then he definitely doesn't have a leg to stand on, I would think... If it's just in his name.... I would think he couldn't do anything because you didn't break and enter, or use force to gain access, and you didn't damage anything of his, or take or remove any of his belongings... Maybe next time though, it would be better to just let him know. All this said, I am in the UK. but I would think matters like this wouldn't be too different....
MakeLemonade Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 If the house is in both of your names then I wouldn't think there is any way it would be illegal. I wouldn't think it would be illegal anyway since you are legally still married w/ no restraining orders or court orders of any kind right? but I am not an attorney or in law enforcement so can't say for sure. It sounds like you are afraid of him, so this I imagine this is all for the best. Yes, your honor - the defendant proceeded to enter her own home and removed used clothing and toys of her son's, as well as her own clothes - and other small personal items given to her by her grandparents.....yeah, I think you will be ok.
Author schweetpea Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 I am terrified of him and yes the house is in his name only. I did no damage to his things and took nothing that would have been considered "his". There are no court orders or restraining orders or anything.
MakeLemonade Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Did you only do this just today? Why did you wait so long? (Not accusing, just curious? Because you were afraid of what might happen if you did?) I knew I sensed a lot of fear in your post. I understand why you did not try to contact him first before doing it. If there are other things you want, I would go ahead and contact an attorney and get the ball rolling w/ a divorce. It sounds like that is what you want to do. Your attorney will help protect your rights and inform you as to what things you can go ahead and (with police escort if necessary) get from the house and what things will be considered "joint" property and you will have to wait to get or split or sell or whatever the case may be until proceedings are over. I am sorry you are going thru such an obviously horrible ordeal. Prayers coming your way.
Author schweetpea Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 Good question...hmm...I guess I was just scared to go get the stuff sooner. Anyway, the divorce has been pending for like 9 months. He won't sign anything so its dragging on. Thanks for your posts&your prayers.
MakeLemonade Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Ah, that makes more sense - well I hope he signs soon - otherwise it could take years! I'm really sorry he is being so stubborn. Why prolong the inevitable? Some people are just so vindictive and stubborn. Anyway, I hope it all works out for you, good luck.
LostHusband Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I looked up a bunch of legal stuff when my wife told me she wanted out of the marriage, I just felt like getting as much info as possible. One of the things I read was the marriage house is considered both of yours as long as you are married and one person can't legally force there spouse to leave the house - its still your house too. That's just something I read awhile back but not sure if it includes if you are separated, plus it might have been local state law too. But I doubt if there is anything legal he could do either way since you aren't divorced or legally separated.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Wait a second arent you the same woman who cheated on your husband and got pregnnant with the Om's baby??? Then said it made you happy??? WTF? You went inside your husband's home that you probably abandoned when you left. Without permission!!!!! I might add No common courtesy call, No asking, no nothing. If you tried a stunt like that and I thought I was being robbed I would have shot you!!!
lovelorcet Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 (edited) I have no clue what the legal standings on this would be but I would think this is a really dumb move on your part. He is going to feel violated that you broke into his place of living after being moved out for 1.5 years. You should have asked him to hand over these items and if he didn't do it then you should have asked your attorney. You have just made your divorce process even harder now. Edited January 24, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
jerbear Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 You may want to consult your divorce lawyer about NYS marriage and communal property. I do not condone or accept the way you went about this. Maybe you should have notified him that you are taking your stuff. From what you say, you two are still legally married and that is a residence. From what I know of NYS marriage laws and communal property, you still have a the right and ability to enter the residence. It is one thing to take your own stuff but be careful of other things. Also get a witnesses and allibi. Take inventory and notes about what you took and maybe even pictures of before and after.
lovelorcet Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 thanks....i did think of it on my own. apparently you have never read any of the big bad baracuda's posts. now that's intelligence. I have read many of his posts and disagree with a number of them but I don't see how calling him "gay" is productive or acceptable in anyway.
Enema Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Ahhhh... It's all about making yourself feel better at the expense of others. Got it!
Woggle Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 You should have just asked him for it back. It is his house and you didn't really have the right to just enter in like that. I would get the locks changed if I were him though. Chrome Barrucuda is one of my favorite posters on here but the shooting comment was a bit too far.
lovelorcet Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Oh...well do let me explain. I feel a great deal better in having called him gay. You see, for a person like him it is quite an insult. I do feel justified in my actions because he told me I should be shot. My post will likely make him angry because he is indeed an angry soul. I win doubly. I feel better and he will be angry. Do you understand now my dear? I do not see how it is acceptable to slam 10% of your fellow citizens just because you feel the need to insult someone. If this type of petty behavior makes you feel better then I think that it speaks a lot for you.
Woggle Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I have had women call me gay before and my response is to tell them they make me wish I was.
Author schweetpea Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 I do not see how it is acceptable to slam 10% of your fellow citizens just because you feel the need to insult someone. If this type of petty behavior makes you feel better then I think that it speaks a lot for you. Don't jump in on my thread then.
Author schweetpea Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 I have had women call me gay before and my response is to tell them they make me wish I was. We wish you were too
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 You should have just asked him for it back. It is his house and you didn't really have the right to just enter in like that. I would get the locks changed if I were him though. Chrome Barrucuda is one of my favorite posters on here but the shooting comment was a bit too far. The only reason is that she entered someone else's property without a call or nothing. What if the house was being watched by someone new and they had a gun, and she couldnt Identify herself. You know if it's dark, and the lights are off and your ruffling through the closet. I would have took you for a common thief!!! That's why I said I would have shot you. But calling me gay??? Really that's cool. I aint gay but it's cool sweet. A few years down the line when OM cheats on you, dont come here crying for support! lmao!
stbx2007 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I don't think so. You need to contact an attorney. NY has laws requiring couples to live in separate domiciles for a year before qualifying for divorce. You are flying by the seat of your pants now. Get a lawyer or at least go for a consultation.
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