Seperation

[bigfig75]

Quick and brief. My wife and I dualy decided to separate for a while for many reasons. I'm back at my parents house while she stays at our house with her 2 kids. This separation is really not geared toward divorce. At this point in time we don't know what we want. We talk everyday, and see each other 2 or 3 times a week. We both decided to NOT date other people and not to spend the night with each other. We are going to a weekend retreat for troubled couples, and seeing seperate therapist. We are reading books, learning about our own role in the problem, and praying alot. Some of the finacial stuff has been separated, and some we have kept the same. So that being said, here is my question. It has to do with sex. We both still want to, but we have a hard time deciding what is right for the situation. Shes afraid that if we do have sex, that I won't respect her. She also thinks that it will cloud our judgement. The whole I can have the milk without buying the cow senario. I think that we would grow further apart from each other if we don't. We are married, is the way I look at it. So is it ok to have sex while separated?

[Rx12578]

I'm sure that marriage counselors have something of a rule for this but I don't know what it is. In my opinion I would have to say that sex (with anyone) would be off the table during the separation. I think that a separation is supposed to be a time to clear your head and figure out what you both really want. Sex would probably just cloud the issues. You should definitely talk to your individual therapists about a couples counselor for you to see together - they should be able to give you the best information.

[whichwayisup]

What about leading up to it again. Instead of just having sex, you two need to fool around, hold hands, cuddle - Have intimacy between you two for a while and then when the time feels right, you two talk about it before deciding if having sex will harm things.