Smitty32 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I'm seriously considering divorce for one plain reason. No sex. We have been to the Dr. and my husband has been diagnosed with low-testosterone. He was put on both the patches and tried the gel that you just put on, but he got lazy and stopped doing it because "it wasn't doing anything." He only tried it for 3 months after the Dr. told him it could take up to 6 to see any results. I have begged him over and over to go back and see our Dr. (whom I love) and tell him that he needs to put him on our last and final option with the testosterone which is injections. He puts it off and puts it off and never quite gets around to it. When I did have sex 17 MONTHS AGO I have to give him oral sex and then get on top while he lays there. Fun...not. What sucks it that I am only 30 and my sex drive it totally kicking in. I have lots of opportunites to have sex with other men. Other men find me very attractive and have approached me in public. I do not have low self esteem and feel that I am considerably good looking. I haven't cheated because to be honest with you I'm scared to death of getting pregnant (we have no children and don't intend on having any). I try to give him lots of opportunities to have sex with me but he never wants to take me up on them. I hate to say it outloud but I haven't had sex the entire year of 2007 and I have a fear that if I don't get out now, I won't have it in 2008 either. Anyone love to give me some advice? Have I been patient enough or do I wait longer? I would hate to give up on my marriage knowing that I didn't give it all the chances it deserves. BTW, we get along fine in all the other areas....we like the same hobbies, we respect our alone time, we both don't want kids, we are financially stable, and I think we really do love each other....but love like that can only go so far when one person is attracted to the other.
LoveLace Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Sex is a component of compatibility, in my eyes. Compared to other components, the rank of importance varies from person to person but it's definitley up there on the list for most. And your a good human being, because many people I know would have cheated for sure by now. By slacking in his enthusiasm to keep trying, it probably makes you feel that he's slacking in wanting to keep you happy as well. Personally, I would tell him to try the injections or I want a divorce. Easier said than done I'm sure. But if one person is unhappy in a marriage, in a way that can't seem to be resolved, your either stuck that way or you must seek to get your needs met elsewhere. Have you ever expressed to him that you've thought of sleeping with someone else? Maybe this could prompt him to try harder. If not, it's the same as saying he doesn't want to work on saving your marriage. And it' already "work" for you to deal with this. So that would be unfair. However the poor guy might never find a long-term partner due to his problem. Have you ever asked him to use toys on you for stimulation? Well, since his interest in sex is depleted, I wouldn't be surprised if he slacks here as well. But that would at least be something for you.
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