overhim08 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 someone i dated for a year, claims i was the love of his life, lived together, etc now contacts me and wants to have casual sex with me. is it a guy thing? otherwise, how can you do that with someone you claim to have all those feelings for? or do your emotions just shut down? to me that means they weren't that stong to begin with. seriously, aren't there enough people around to not have to sleep with your ex? wtf?? i find that to belittle everything we ever had because there is NO WAY i could do that... but may be im strange... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS, THANK YOU!!!
oppath Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 It is belittling. The subtext is "I want to keep having sex with you until I meet someone who is a better option." I'm not opposed to ex sex if you run into each other at a bar, flirt, and end up in bed. I am opposed to the dumper calling and trying to initiate a booty call. My ex emailed me asking to be friends with benefits and it denigrated me, my feelings, and our relationship. I couldn't believe someone could be so brazen as to ask, via email, in response to me requesting space. To me it was obviously wrong, and it messed with my head and filled me with self doubt.
Star Gazer Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 While I understand how it can be insulting, it's also complimentary in a way. They miss the connection, the closeness, the comfort of being with you. Yes, they want it again no-strings-attached, but it also means that they miss what they had. I kinda like it when they show that emotion... But still, don't give in! (Not that you would!)
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 While I understand how it can be insulting, it's also complimentary in a way. They miss the connection, the closeness, the comfort of being with you. Yes, they want it again no-strings-attached, but it also means that they miss what they had. I don't know that I completely agree with that. They miss the sex, but not the person. Men are less inclined to be emotional over sex. They just want sex with whoever will have it with them. I kinda like it when they show that emotion... But still, don't give in! (Not that you would!) I agree, don't give in.
Star Gazer Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I don't know that I completely agree with that. They miss the sex, but not the person. Men are less inclined to be emotional over sex. They just want sex with whoever will have it with them. It's not necessarily true for everyone, obviously. But in my personal experience, when they come crawling back (and they literally always do), it's usually for something more than just sex. They miss the entire package, and why wouldn't they? I am an awesome person, they enjoy just being around me, and prove that by spending time with me that doesn't involve sex at all. But that's just been my experience.
Author overhim08 Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 thanks guys. i just think its degrading. so i asked him directly - "is it just about the sex? because when we started talking u said it's not just about the sex but sex is a good place to start. so u were either misleading me or changed your mind. he says - no, that still holds true i just don't think it's going to go anywhere." isn't that a contradiction? either way i think he's being a jerk and i don't know y i even bother asking or analyzing this. right?
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