mumbai311 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I m in a relationship with a girl since a year now... While getting into the relationship i was of the thought that she had all the general characteristics of a girl.. like having feelings, be caring.. etc... but now she also tells me that she in emotionally too dry... we have problems every other day.. i just cant understand why she cant do this or that.. i take care of each and every bit of her... i really love her people... pls help me.. whats should i do... pls help...
Green Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I think your looking to this girl for things you shouldnt. Its unromantic if you try and cry about things to your woman. You might want to break up and look for a girl thats wet for you
Author mumbai311 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 I think your looking to this girl for things you shouldnt. Its unromantic if you try and cry about things to your woman. You might want to break up and look for a girl thats wet for you I dont want to cry in front of my girl... im also no that emotional the way ur thinking.. i just want some normal emotions and feelings... but she dosent even have the normal feelings and emotions..
Green Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Dude I think its time you break up. You can do this one of two ways, look for a new gf while still dating this one (kind of evil)... or just break up with her... I dont think she will change, she's not what your looking for in a girl... I've had similar experiences
ElvenPriestess Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 What sort of feelings and emotions is she lacking? Your basic love, caring, compassionate, sensitive emotions? Or what?
Author mumbai311 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 What sort of feelings and emotions is she lacking? Your basic love, caring, compassionate, sensitive emotions? Or what? She loves me a lot.. but lacks all the other feelings u just said... thats the problem..
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 She loves me a lot.. but lacks all the other feelings u just said... thats the problem.. Maybe shes been abused in the past by men ether mentally/verbally or physically or maybe all of the above who knowes. You would be surprised how cold that can make a person after a while even after they get out of the bad situation. I agree with KMT shes not what your looking for break up and move on.
Author mumbai311 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 Maybe shes been abused in the past by men ether mentally/verbally or physically or maybe all of the above who knowes. You would be surprised how cold that can make a person after a while even after they get out of the bad situation. I agree with KMT shes not what your looking for break up and move on. thats not a solution guys... i cant break up with her.. i really want to b with her.. pls tell me how to overcome the problem...
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 You can't change some body bottom line!! Ether your wiling to help her figure out and work on why shes this way or your going to have to move on or except her the way she is. It sounds like you want a quick fix answer which no one here can give you cause it simply doesn't exist! Thats if she even wants to change maybe shes OK with the way she is maybe it works for her. Have you even spoken to her about it and if so whats her reaction to it?
Author mumbai311 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 You can't change some body bottom line!! Ether your wiling to help her figure out and work on why shes this way or your going to have to move on or except her the way she is. It sounds like you want a quick fix answer which no one here can give you cause it simply doesn't exist! Thats if she even wants to change maybe shes OK with the way she is maybe it works for her. Have you even spoken to her about it and if so whats her reaction to it? ya i have spoken to her about this quite a few times... her reaction is that she always tells me that she is trying to change for me.. she asked me for time.. i m ready to give her as much time needed... i have no problems with that... i m here to ask u what can i do from my side to make her feel... and the things u said that she wud have been abused.. thats a true... her father was a drunkard and that led to the breakup between her parents.. can that b a reason for such a behaviour of hers??
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 ya i have spoken to her about this quite a few times... her reaction is that she always tells me that she is trying to change for me.. she asked me for time.. i m ready to give her as much time needed... i have no problems with that... i m here to ask u what can i do from my side to make her feel... and the things u said that she wud have been abused.. thats a true... her father was a drunkard and that led to the breakup between her parents.. can that b a reason for such a behavior of hers?? Yes it can abused people allot of the time learn how to shut down there emotions completely after a while. It makes the abuse and pain bearable its a coping method and very hard for people who haven't been thu that kinda situation to understand some times. Just like you there loved ones can't understand why they cant simply turn on there emotions or feel them normally like every one else. Other wise happy loving people can become cold and distant honestly she may be able to change she may not at this point. It all depends on how deep the mental scars are from her past I suggest getting her into some counseling and see what a professional can do to help her deal with whats done this to her. Theres really nothing you can do per say to make her act or feel differently. Other then being there for her and letting her know you love and accept her as she is. And that you want to be there for her thu it all. Again you can't change any one and unfortunately you or no one in here has the expertise to treat her properly she needs a med pro for that.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I'm very confused, to be honest, about this girl. I mean, part of loving some one is caring about them, felling passion and compassion. If she truly understands what love is and really does feel that way, then these other emotions should be second nature. You can't change some one's heart, or their soul. Please don't take my next part the wrong way, but some people can't be changed, and some aren't capable of feeling certain emotions. My dad's second wife was like that. There's no real clear cut answer to solving this dilemma which I can offer. I wish I could, but something so rooted as uninhabited emotions is a one person journey. You can't be the source of her learning to feel those things, it's something she has to discover in herself. Think of it as some one who is jaded by anger or past experiences. Their heart becomes jaded and the things you think would come normal as emotions are lost with in the confines of an intangible wall which is in there stead. Try and help her perhaps by looking deeper with her inside herself. Something that has perhaps eaten at her long ago, and turned her emotions to something, or lack there of, which she can't control. I hope this helps you and makes sense. A part of me feels sad for her.
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