karisma83 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Is it normal for men to spend a lot of time looking at adult personals? I've caught my fiance at this several times, even registered on some. I don't know if I should be worried about this or not... any advice/thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks
Green Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 If your fiance is looking for other partners and that bothers you I wouldnt worry about if its normal or not. Have you spoken to him about this and how it makes you feel?
Tripper Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Big Red Flag!!! He's your fiancé and he's registered at these sites?? Whoa... Watch your back, hon..
EhiPassiko Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Karisma, I went through this with my ex. The second I saw the site, I confronted him and left. He apologized and had such a good "reason" for why he was on there. I went back to him thinking he was over it only to know that a week after we broke up, he went right back on and probably felt trapped because he couldn't seek that type of pleasure while we were together. I have heard other similar stories of men who get caught on these sites and then say, "but I've never met them in real life!" or "Its just innocent flirting" or "Its better than porn. It gets me off!" And their SO's stick around only to be burned again by real life infidelity or lies. This is not always the case, of course, but its a possibility. The bottom line is this: if you feel betrayed and hurt by it, you should be open and honest with him about your concerns. There are PLENTY of men on this planet that do not belong to these sites because there is no sexual need for them to seek out alternative means of pleasure. Unless you are into this sort of thing too, I agree with Tripper... this is huge RED FLAG! Just be honest with yourself about it and don't allow smooth talk or a good excuse to sway your self respect. I wish you well! Namaste, Jess
HoustonScrewed Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 From a guy if he is looking at them, he is not happy with you! It doesn't matter if it is innocent or antrhing else. He is looking for someone else!
EYECANDY000 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I would be a little weary about my fiance looking at dating sites. The first thing that would come to mind is that he is still exploring other options. You need to ask him whats his motive for viewing dating sites?
MakeLemonade Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Another vote here for BIG RED FLAG - there is no reason for him to be looking. BIGGER RED FLAG - he is spending ALOT of time looking and he is registered (with an active, viewable profile?). You need to discuss this with him at length and get to the bottom of it, he needs to have more respect for you and your relationship than that.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Another vote here for BIG RED FLAG - there is no reason for him to be looking. BIGGER RED FLAG - he is spending ALOT of time looking and he is registered (with an active, viewable profile?). You need to discuss this with him at length and get to the bottom of it, he needs to have more respect for you and your relationship than that. Your handle Make Lemonade would have an entirely different connotation if this was the Adult Personals
Author karisma83 Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Thank you all for your responses! I appreciate the input. I did tell him how it makes me feel. I told him there is no reason for him to be looking at this kind of stuff. He can look at porn but involving 'real people' is a big no-no. I told him if I see him looking at this stuff again I'm done with him, no questions asked.
Author karisma83 Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Your handle Make Lemonade would have an entirely different connotation if this was the Adult Personals
MakeLemonade Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Your handle Make Lemonade would have an entirely different connotation if this was the Adult Personals I actually thought of that when I chose it believe it or not! It's not the AP's though and I added the avatar specifically to avert sick minds like yourself from making the inference! Oh well, some minds are too sick to overcome I suppose.
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