EYECANDY000 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Ok, heres the thing. I am seeking some advice before I do it. I have been in a relationship with this guy for the last four months now. Things have been going ok, but it hasnt been the best. Just to rewind a bit, i use to always write threads about this guy because he never initiated anything. He never called first, texted first, or asked to hang out.. it was always me. But everytime we did hang out and speak in the phone we had the best time ever. Now since I have brung it to his attention he has started to show me that he cares more by doing the initiating. So I texted him last week and asked how he was doing and he responded back "ok" and that was it. So my next message was I havent exactly heard from in the last couple of days , is everything ok. and he responded with a "yea" So of course, automatically Im aggravated by his short responses. So I say forget it. Now this was Thursday , and I havent heard from him since. I admit both of us is very stubborn. And I dont want to contact him because it will seem like I am chasing him again. Which always seem to be the result of us talking again. Oh yea, this has happened before, where I didnt hear from him and I finally decided to call and see if everything was ok. And he said yea everything is ok, just wondered how long it would take you to call me. Huh? So at that point I was done with him. But he told me he would change, which he did. So my question is, considering the fact that he has done this before and nothing dramatic is going on in his life. Do you think I should call to get some kind of closure, or just let it be and consider the whole out of sight out of mind motto? what would you do? I just want to hear some ideas first
Mistaken Identity Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Don't call. You already told him how you felt about initiating contact, right? At this point he's just taking it for granted that you'll get in touch. Therefore, he's taking you for granted. You need to give him something to worry about. Don't let him think you're just sitting around waiting for him, either. Let him worry that you might find someone who will call. In fact, maybe you should.
StartingOver07 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Leave it unless this pattern of him going absent and you chasing is one you'd like to repeat for the rest of your r/s with him.
D-Lish Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I wouldn't call or text at all. It sounds like he enjoys baiting you, but has little regard for your feelings. He keeps sitting back and waiting for you to contact him. Not only is that more energy than it's worth on your part- but you deserve better from someone you are supposed to be dating. Give him the silent treatment for a change.... and set your sights on someone who wants to give as much as they take. It doesn't sound as if you'd get any fulfillment out of this relationship. That's not being fair to yourself.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 Thanks girls! I figured most of you guys would say that. I want to just leave it the way it is and not call, but we have been together for the past 7 months and exclusive for four. I guess its just hard to let it go. because I really do miss him. I guess if I do call it will just be have some closure, not to contiue with the relationship. Would You call for closure?
Reden123 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I agree with the girls above. By you calling him, youre just letting him "get away" with what hes doing. I'll admit to having done that a few times to my girlfriends before. All it does, is let him feel "special" and important. Txting him is enough to get him to notice you, but let him call you, he will eventually. If he cares, he'll call you, trust me.
Radil Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 I am in a very similar relationship or if you can call it that. We have great chemistry but she is super busy all the time. I am the one that always initiates everything because she is so busy but finally I gave up. Now if I let her contact me I have better success. I know this is messed up but hey it works.
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