Teacher's Pet Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Where I work, we have a regular customer (I'll call him "Fred") who is a wonderful man in his 60's. Fred is VERY wealthy (as are most of my regulars at the upscale tavern I tend bar at), and a very generous tipper and fun-loving man. If you were to meet him, you'd see an always-smiling, well-dressed, jovial soul with a dirty joke always at the ready. Sometimes, when you see a person like this, you can't help but think they've had a "charmed life". Fred's life wasn't always so carefree and "wild". He was married at a young age to a wonderful woman (as he would always describe her) who already had kids from a previous marriage. During the course of their marriage, they had 2 kids of their own. Whenever Fred would talk about his wife or their kids, you could see a glow in his eyes. This is a man who loves his family to a fault. Again, a seemingly perfect life. Fifteen years ago, his wife died of cancer. The cancer set in very quickly, and she died within a couple of months. They were married 42 years. Two years later, both of their kids were killed in a tragic car accident. In fact, he arrived at the scene just minutes after the crash, as he was driving on the same highway at the time, and heard about the accident on the radio. In two years, Fred lost his soulmate, and both "creations" of their love. This is enough to destroy anyone. Not Fred. He fought through the tears and the pain, but vowed to never let things out of his control destroy his life. His family would not have wanted that to happen to him. Here's a man whom, if I were him, would be simply devastated to the point of never wanting to leave the house again. Just a few years later, he's the true "party animal" of the area, known for his wild Hefner-esque bashes at his home, always showing up at my place of work with friends, buying round after round of expensive drinks (we have a cocktail named after him where I work), and always tipping well BEYOND what we'd expect. When I see Fred, I don't see a man suffering from THREE tragic losses. I see a man living life to the fullest, enjoying each day as a gift from God, but NEVER forgetting the love he lost, and ALWAYS speaking of his deceased wife and kids in nothing but the most brilliant of terms. Knowing this year will be 10 years since my own personal nightmare, I asked him HOW he's able to do it. He looked at me and said, "I miss them more than you can possibly know, but I'll be damned if when I'm ready to join them 'upstairs', they see a man crying and feeling sorry for himself." He then slipped me $50. *chuckles* Talk about never wasting a moment of your life over things you can't control..... If you met him, you'd never think a single bad thing has EVER happened to this man. He lives life like it's a non-stop party, and treats EVERYONE he meets as his best friend. I think I have a new role model. -TP sorry, Samuel L. Jackson
PinkRibbon Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Such a wonderful story. Very inspiration! Thank you for posting!
quankanne Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 what a great message to share, that life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest even in the face of great personal loss. thanks for sharing, and thank Fred for sharing ...
KittenMoon Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Not to be a wet blanket, but can you clarify the numbers? If his wife died 15 years ago, and they were married 42 years, and he's in his 60s, did he marry her when he was like 12? (which is what the math tells me, gong to the far end of the scale and saying he's 69 yrs old) I'm really bad at math, but is there a mistype somewhere?
johan Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Not to be a wet blanket, but can you clarify the numbers? If his wife died 15 years ago, and they were married 42 years, and he's in his 60s, did he marry her when he was like 12? (which is what the math tells me, gong to the far end of the scale and saying he's 69 yrs old) I'm really bad at math, but is there a mistype somewhere? Maybe they didn't end the marriage right when she died. Don't forget this all happened in New Jersey.
tanbark813 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Not to be a wet blanket, but can you clarify the numbers? If his wife died 15 years ago, and they were married 42 years, and he's in his 60s, did he marry her when he was like 12? (which is what the math tells me, gong to the far end of the scale and saying he's 69 yrs old)? That's so funny. This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. Plus, she had already had two kids by that point. If the story is true, though, Fred sounds like good people. On a side note, old dudes are the coolest people to strike up conversations with in bars.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 Not to be a wet blanket, but can you clarify the numbers? If his wife died 15 years ago, and they were married 42 years, and he's in his 60s, did he marry her when he was like 12? (which is what the math tells me, gong to the far end of the scale and saying he's 69 yrs old) I'm really bad at math, but is there a mistype somewhere? I am *pretty* sure he is in his 60's. Never really asked him. If he's 70+, he looks damned good for it, but it's certainly possible. -TP should I cut him open and count the rings?
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