woe_is_me Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 This post is just to say .. "i no longer feel like one of you" Most of you arebeautiful people.. betrayed spouses and other women/men alike .. And i just want to thank you all so much for your help and advice over the last 12 months with my 'setback' (xmm calling after 4 years of NC).. I'm also really sorry for the times i came in here after drinking one too many and spouting off in all directions, knowing i'd be too ashamed to log-in in the next day to see the garbage about my xmm id even bothered typing or getting upset about... I do however know i mentioned in a post many months back..a single guy i'd met around 3 years ago (after the A) I also had my xH hanging around a lot refusing to move on .. so i just stayed 'neutral.. ' but now.. xH has found what he calls happiness - a girl he's known a week and shagged silly already - (if that's what you call happiness) ..men! *rolls eyes* Let's face it though..he was never going to get anything out of me lol I'm not sure whether i had the affair with MM as a result of being cheated on by my exH .. i'll never really know .. I just know that i have this feeling of being 'set free' by both mm and ex H ..and it's AWESOME...!!! When i met single guy 3 years ago he'd only been divorced 12 months.. Maybe i didn't feel that it was long enough at the time... but we always stayed in touch and went through each others ups and downs...i guess we grew undeniably close without realising .. don't know .. only time will tell...we caught up last week and when he kissed me i nearly melted... I'm now on cloud nine and have even been offered a promotion to management... So there u go all u miserable OW .. maybe the perfect guy is right under your nose and you dont even know it... And to all the BS.. see! i'm not evil and hell bent on destructing some married guys life who doesn't know what he wants or what he's doing... At least single guy had the balls to get out of his miserable marriage and build a new life for himself...and for THAT he has my utmost respect... Honestly though, thanks heaps for just being here ..especially Lucrezia, Here Now and serial Muse... you are wise women I don't even know you yet gained so much strength and insight from all of your posts. Happy New Year and much love to you all xxx
nextel Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Good luck to you. Glad you feel free. May the happiness you feel inside bring you all the joy you desire. BTW: not all OW are miserable.
OWoman Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I don't consider myself the Other woman at all, I'm the only woman now... My MM has told me that from the beginning. But I suppose I only started believing it when he left his W.
Leia Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 This post is just to say .. "i no longer feel like one of you" Most of you arebeautiful people.. betrayed spouses and other women/men alike .. And i just want to thank you all so much for your help and advice over the last 12 months with my 'setback' (xmm calling after 4 years of NC).. I'm also really sorry for the times i came in here after drinking one too many and spouting off in all directions, knowing i'd be too ashamed to log-in in the next day to see the garbage about my xmm id even bothered typing or getting upset about... I do however know i mentioned in a post many months back..a single guy i'd met around 3 years ago (after the A) I also had my xH hanging around a lot refusing to move on .. so i just stayed 'neutral.. ' but now.. xH has found what he calls happiness - a girl he's known a week and shagged silly already - (if that's what you call happiness) ..men! *rolls eyes* Let's face it though..he was never going to get anything out of me lol I'm not sure whether i had the affair with MM as a result of being cheated on by my exH .. i'll never really know .. I just know that i have this feeling of being 'set free' by both mm and ex H ..and it's AWESOME...!!! When i met single guy 3 years ago he'd only been divorced 12 months.. Maybe i didn't feel that it was long enough at the time... but we always stayed in touch and went through each others ups and downs...i guess we grew undeniably close without realising .. don't know .. only time will tell...we caught up last week and when he kissed me i nearly melted... I'm now on cloud nine and have even been offered a promotion to management... So there u go all u miserable OW .. maybe the perfect guy is right under your nose and you dont even know it... And to all the BS.. see! i'm not evil and hell bent on destructing some married guys life who doesn't know what he wants or what he's doing... At least single guy had the balls to get out of his miserable marriage and build a new life for himself...and for THAT he has my utmost respect... Honestly though, thanks heaps for just being here ..especially Lucrezia, Here Now and serial Muse... you are wise women I don't even know you yet gained so much strength and insight from all of your posts. Happy New Year and much love to you all xxx WHOA!!! Woe_is_Me!! You said it perfectly!!!! I am so happy for you. You got out of it! You're right... you're no longer other woman BUT Better woman!!!! Good luck and all the best!!!
marlena Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I just know that i have this feeling of being 'set free' by both mm and ex H ..and it's AWESOME... Welcome to the club of former OW and BS! The sense of being "freed" emotionally, inside, where it makes all the difference in the world, is so exhilarating, isn't it? I look back on those times many years ago, and like you, I marvel at what a complete fool I had beeen. When I got rid of both, it was as if a spell has been lifted! Yes, life does get better when you rid yourself of all that causes you anguish and distress! Remove the cause and you remove the symptoms. It just takes some time getting to the point where you KNOW without a doubt that you want OUT.
Author woe_is_me Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Good luck to you. Glad you feel free. May the happiness you feel inside bring you all the joy you desire. BTW: not all OW are miserable. sorry next..i'll reword.. i should've said "to all the other women out there who are feeling miserable" I sure as hell wasn't miserable when i was the OW .. well maybe a little bit sometimes...i'd only start crying when he was there not knowing when i'd see him again...nothing major...shizers..did i just say i wasn't miserable when i was the OW??? I don't know that i'll ever know such a see-saw of emotions again that come with being in love with a married man .. and his calling back after 4 yrs of NC... and i pretty much know for sure i never want to again.. Thank you anyway though..for your wellwishes It's not all cut and dried though..single guys come with issues also .. The fact that my exH got or gets with someone so 'easily' is a little hard to swallow though... I mean i raised the children alone ..basically.. because i couldnt live with a liar... i could've entered into many relationships but i didn't really like guys having a say or trying to tell my children what to do ...so i kept any suitors at arms length..for the sake of my children.. So it was hard for me to understand why xMMs wife stayed with him...when hell would freeze over before i could put up with what she has I did however read in here ..and i think im quoting Lucrezia.... some wives really don't think an A is a big deal...not enough to change anything dramatically...and sadly...i think this is the scenario in my xmm's sitch... My exH had the audacity to bring up my feelings for MM not long ago and i had to remind him that i probably had the A because i'd been cheated on.. by him..and didnt really care if anyone felt the same pain (at the time..six yrs ago) Today..i don't know whose worse..the exH or the exMM... they both belong in the same basket IMO:bunny:
Author woe_is_me Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Welcome to the club of former OW and BS! . Thank u ever so much Marlena!! *struts around showing off her bs and ow scars proudly*
marlena Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 (edited) *struts around showing off her bs and ow scars proudly* Ah, come on!!! Better a healed scar than an open, constantly bleeding gash! You sound like one strong, amazing lady to me! Oh, and congrats on how you so carefully brought up your kids! Edited January 24, 2008 by marlena syntax
Leia Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 I have the utmost respect for single mothers and fathers!
Author woe_is_me Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 Ah, come on!!! Better a healed scar than an open, constantly bleeding gash! You sound like one strong, amazing lady to me! Oh, and congrats on how you so carefully brought up your kids! Too true Marlena.. the scars fade with time, i know.... twice over even.. My kids are 16 and 18 now .. 13 and 11 when they knew mm lol! They know their Ma's tuff all 5ft1 of her I can't help but laugh though, at the fact he got himself busted 4 years after the crime... !!
Author woe_is_me Posted January 24, 2008 Author Posted January 24, 2008 I have the utmost respect for single mothers and fathers! My exH didn't want me to be 'single' .. he had to go coz he got 'busted' And he lied about what he did on top of lying about that..so that's just 'double lying...' He'd be with me now still if i could as much as touch or kiss him..but i cant..because..he's a cheating spineless lying so n so...and he cheated in 97..some ppl..u just cant cheat on...(and get away with) So yeah i dont like my exH coz i busted him in a one night stand... Don't know how some wives put up with a full on emo affair... But i guess we all have diff 'bottom lines...'
marlena Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Honey, stay on "cloud nine!" You diligently earned it! Ah, the sweet taste of revenge.... when, eventually, they do come back and then you kick them to the curb!! Exquisite! Well done!
Leia Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 My exH didn't want me to be 'single' .. he had to go coz he got 'busted' And he lied about what he did on top of lying about that..so that's just 'double lying...' He'd be with me now still if i could as much as touch or kiss him..but i cant..because..he's a cheating spineless lying so n so...and he cheated in 97..some ppl..u just cant cheat on...(and get away with) So yeah i dont like my exH coz i busted him in a one night stand... Don't know how some wives put up with a full on emo affair... But i guess we all have diff 'bottom lines...' You did the right thing, Woe_is_Me. Your story has made me believe that some people can't live with a cheating partner. I don't know either why some wives put up with their cheating husbands. You came out a better person so that should be something to be happy about. I'm sure your kids are very proud of you.
serial muse Posted January 24, 2008 Posted January 24, 2008 Hooray for you, woe!! You need a new username now.
Author woe_is_me Posted January 26, 2008 Author Posted January 26, 2008 You did the right thing, Woe_is_Me. Your story has made me believe that some people can't live with a cheating partner. I don't know either why some wives put up with their cheating husbands. You came out a better person so that should be something to be happy about. I'm sure your kids are very proud of you. I guess ..it's like the Queen of England... and Hilary Clinton... one puts up with it...the other one couldn't! (And i'm not from the US or the UK) ..And thanks..! I'm as proud as punch of my kids! I still feel sorry for MM a bit... it's like he got the appreciation from myself and my older son (he didn't or couldn't fool my daughter lol) that he could not get from his W and sons 'They' (his other life i didn't know) were all spoilt rotten! He bought them motorbikes that just sat there... anything they wanted but bickered over if it was the same...like this man was/is a good provider...but unappreciated.. (and im not forgetting a sleazy liar at that!) What's weird is .. i had the same kind of upbringing his children do..but rebelled against it becuase i couldnt stand the hypocrisy..and lies... I know his W comes from a 'strange' kind of poor family ..they all get sick and stuff..so shes going to hang onto him til her knuckles are white... And he came from an immigrant Italian family that struggled (i saw on a doco how the mafioso men cheat and dont actually care about the cheating..just the shame of being caught out) So if ur MM is Italian..or Maltese...forget it already!! Just believe in yourself...you have no other option
Author woe_is_me Posted January 26, 2008 Author Posted January 26, 2008 Hooray for you, woe!! You need a new username now. I sure do! i'll be back with a new name soon
Leia Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I guess ..it's like the Queen of England... and Hilary Clinton... one puts up with it...the other one couldn't! (And i'm not from the US or the UK) And he came from an immigrant Italian family that struggled (i saw on a doco how the mafioso men cheat and dont actually care about the cheating..just the shame of being caught out) So if ur MM is Italian..or Maltese...forget it already!! Just believe in yourself...you have no other option Yes, that's one good example! I am not with an MM, I can't be with one. I know what I want and I know I deserve more than what an MM can offer me! I'm just glad things are better for you now. You have such a good attitude!
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