soulseeker Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I love my bf. I hate his work schedule. He works 24 hours a day for 8 days, then is off for 6 days, repeat. When he is at work we cannot talk, for legitmate reasons. It's starting to get to me. I lose the feeling of connection I have with him after a few days. And, to make things worse, I get insecure about 5 days into the 8 days we are apart. I start thinking that he is going to fall in love with one of his female coworkers that he spends these 8 days with... I hate that he misses more than half of my life, and vise versa. Dont get me wrong, time apart is beneficial, I would just prefer it to not be this much time with no contact. It is not a permanent situation, but I dont know how long it will last. Any advice on coping with this rationally and supporting what he does.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 What the heck does he do? Is he a miner underground for 8 days? An oceanographer who goes under for 8 days? I cannot think of one justifiable career (other than these) where you'd have no contact for 8 days at a time, repeatedly at that!
Author soulseeker Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 He works with at-risk youth in the backcountry. Other than contact with the base camp via sat-phone, which is not owned by him, there is no contact with the outside world, barring an emergency. And, to be quite honest, I wouldnt really want to interrupt this type of work just to say "hi, honey. How is your day?", even if there were cell reception. There are two rotations, so his group is on for a week, then the other group is on.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Since its not a permanant position seems like you just have to wait it out. If hes not allowed to receive phone calls, or visits it doesnt seem like there is much that you can do.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Ah, I see. That's legit. Well then, the answer is obvious to me. The first thing you should do is ask him how long he plans on holding this particular job. If it's forever, then you have to assess whether you'll be able to make this compromise. I know I wouldn't be able to do it. How long have you been together?
Author soulseeker Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Eh, we've only been together three months. I love this man, though. Thought I had been in love before, but nothing like this. It's grown-up. We've talked about the longevity of this position before, and he puts a year limit on it. Luckily, it's already been 8 months. With these times of no contact, it feels trickier to deepen our connection. Is that a normal feeling? I dunno, maybe I am just venting and being silly. I just need some mantras or something to keep those stupid insecure thoughts out of my head.
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