4givrnt4gtr Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 My SO and I went to Vegas this past weekend for my bday. I planned it under the impression he also wanted to go from a conversation we had the last time he went with his friends. Anyhow, we got all the details settled, but two days before we were supposed to go, my SO told me he had to go to his parents so we would be leaving a bit later. I was annoyed cuz i felt he was changing our plans last minute, but we then compromised to stay there longer than we had planned initially. ANyhow, on Friday during my bday dinner, my friend asked him if he was excited for Vegas, and he said he wasnt, that he doesnt like Vegas, and that it was boring. I was baffled to hear him say that, but just as I was about to say something he turned to me with a wink saying he was just trying to rattled her. Then the day we supposed to go, i got to his place & he seemed pretty lazy about it and started sort of complaining about how far the drive was. I told him that if he didnt want to go he didnt have to. He said he was kidding and asked if I wanted to go. We got into this "i want to go if you want to go" type of thing. We ended up going (as I had already made hotel reservations) So we had a good time in Vegas, but i felt he didnt really want to be there. Not that he was doing anything or saying anything to make me feel that way, he was very sweet, and even trusted me to play some of his money. But for some reason i felt he would have rather be doing something else. Anyway, then on the way home his friend called him and told him he had "missed out" on a really good cricket match. Before we met, cricket was his life, he even was in the US team (i know shocking. I Didnt know the US had a cricket team). He still loves the sport and when he is not working or with me, he is watching/playing. Anyhow, I felt even worst knowing he was supposed to go to this match, where apparently a really famous player made an appearance. I told him i was sorry that he missed the match, he just shrugged. I really appreciate him going to Vegas even though he had something else to do that he wouldnt have missed otherwise. Yet, I feel that if he is feeling he has to put me before cricket or his friends he's going to start resenting me. I really dont want that, but i also dont want to have to stop telling him I want to do something in fear that he will miss out on something he really likes doing (does that make sense?) How do i go about planning activities with him, yet not feel guilty about what he might be missing out on if he wasnt there with me?
allina Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 You are his gf, going out with you on your birthday isn't some chore that gets in the way of other stuff. Enjoy your time with him instead of worrying if he really really wants to be there. Also it's not all about him, what you want matters too.
jcster Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 How do i go about planning activities with him, yet not feel guilty about what he might be missing out on if he wasnt there with me? He's a grown man. If he'd rather do something else, it's up to him to tell you, not up to you to guess.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Im sure if he really didnt want to go then he would have said something. I guess there is nothing you can do but ask. And of you feel like he is putting up a fuss and you can sense that he will be grouchy then dont invite him. But first you have to ask , before you assume
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 I guess there is nothing you can do but ask. True, unfortunately i feel he would agree to whatever I want to do just to please me, which DOESNT please me because I want us BOTH to have a good time...When i say "dont do something you dont want just to please me" he always says he wants to do it...but the feeling lingers. It might be just me too...god sometimes i annoy myself with so much analyzing.
tanbark813 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I don't trust anyone who doesn't love Vegas.
nicki Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Hey, I don't like Vegas! (Too fake and manufactured for me. Gambling is not my thing. Rather be somewhere beautiful and go hiking for my bday.) My guess is your boyfriend doesn't really like Vegas either, but was a good boyfriend and went because it was your birthday. He didn't even complain....so, I'd say forget about it. He did his duty. He picked you over Cricket, as he should on your birthday. Happy Birthday to you!
allina Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I don't trust anyone who doesn't love Vegas. I don't love Vegas. I enjoy going once a year for 2 nights max but that's it. It's so trashy and plastic. Plus after 2 days you run out of stuff to do, at least I do.
tanbark813 Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 It's so trashy and plastic. People keep saying this like it's a bad thing. It's like Disneyland for adults.
allina Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 It's like Disneyland for adults. Disneyland is my worst nightmare. It smells like corn dogs and vomit and there are obnoxious, screaming children everywhere :sick:
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 Disneyland is my worst nightmare. It smells like corn dogs and vomit and there are obnoxious, screaming children everywhere :sick: thats hilarious, I agree with you though, I cant stand Disneyland either. Bores me to tears. Vegas though, was a "dream" i had since i was 12. To go to vegas, ohhhh and awwwed over the pretty hotels and things with a gorgeous man wrapping his arms around me. Wish granted
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