starlite Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Ok, So I am new to the dating scene again. I am 25 and had a break up 3 months ago. I was with the guy for 2 and a half years. Now I am seeing someone new. First date was breakfast, second we went to my brothers to watch the Pats game. I dont want to do the donts. I know not to act needy. I also will not be the one to bring up exclusivity which I dont want now, but down the road who knows. What are some dating DONTS that I should keep in mind?
ElvenPriestess Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Dating absolute DON'T: Being fake to try and win some one over. Be yourself!!
Author starlite Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Dating absolute DON'T: Being fake to try and win some one over. Be yourself!! That is a great one! I don't act fake, but sometimes it is good to read them to keep it in mind
Albucosor Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Some dating don't I know (most of them are obvious ): -Speak about negative topics, complaining -Stay too long in boring topics, such as job, weather. (career is interesting, job is less interesting usually) -Be too serious, or be never serious. -Avoid all physical contact. If he touches your arm, or your shoulder, it is a sign that you are getting closer. (I am speaking about micro touch, not big hugs) -Put pressure on the guy by interviewing him with too many questions. -Think about something else during all the date. Be present, enjoy and appreciate the moment.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Another Don't: Talking about other guys (especially ex's) Sounds silly, but people do it! Blek!
Green Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 and dont black mail the other person into having sex with you, they'll hold it against you
Geishawhelk Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 When I started dating (oh soooo long ago!) I asked my mother to give me some advice on 'dating do's and don'ts.' She said, after a moment's thought: Don't order corn on the cob or spare ribs off the menu, and avoid sauces that stain. Spinach is a no-no too.... Yeh. Thank you mother......
ElvenPriestess Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Oh yes, no bad breath. Gotta carry breath mints or gum. NOOO bad breath.
Trialbyfire Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Ah yes...lists of things... The most important things are to relax and enjoy your time together. Beyond that, the rest will happen if it happens.
Author starlite Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Thank you for all your responses. Elven- The one about talking about Ex's...It is so true. This is one of the first times I have dated someone who doesnt really know my past (which isnt a horrible one)...but neither of us have brought up anything about ex's or the past which is nice and quite refreshing. Albucosor- Those are all really good ones KMT- I was just about to blackmail him...thank you for enlightening me And Geisha- Your Mother is a very smart woman!
tanbark813 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Don't use your phone while on a date. That's super annoying.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Don't use your phone while on a date. That's super annoying. omg yes! I was at a bar with a friend and this girl was chatting for at least an hour on the cell, her date next to her BORED TO TEARS! Great one right there.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I agree with the phone thing and talking about ex's. Those things are kind of rude to someone you are dating. I don't neccessarily have the attitude that you have a list of tons of things NOT to do. That's probably going to make you more nervous and if you keep thinking of things not to do that are going to f*ck the relationship up, then you aren't going to have any fun! Be yourself and get to know him. I feel that there are probably certain things that people do that may mess up a relationship, but most often it's just because of personality differences that make a relationship not work. Compatibility is what makes relationships work, not whether or not you use your phone on a date.
spookie Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I think the best relationships are those where you don't need to beat around the bush about anything for fear of "scaring" the other person. Obviously, don't talk about being together on date 1, but after a couple of weeks, especially if you're moving toward sleeping together, I think it's fair game. Having a list of off-limits topics is not conducive of intimacy.
yk_2006 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Ok, So I am new to the dating scene again. I am 25 and had a break up 3 months ago. I was with the guy for 2 and a half years. Now I am seeing someone new. First date was breakfast, second we went to my brothers to watch the Pats game. I dont want to do the donts. I know not to act needy. I also will not be the one to bring up exclusivity which I dont want now, but down the road who knows. What are some dating DONTS that I should keep in mind? From my experience, try to keep the physical part of the relationship on check, don't rush into it for as long as you can. Trust me, he will respect you more and you will feel stronger as a a woman.
freeandlost Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 As far as the phone thing - the guy I am 'hanging out with' and not quite fully dating yet likes to text me sometimes. I had met him a week prior and saved his name in my cell phone. My guy friend asked him for my number for me because he felt bad that I didn't have it saved. He gave him the number, I texted a thank you and then he came over and talked with me. Now when we go out to the bar, every now and then, I will send flirty texts and I think that is ok. He appears to enjoy them. As far as the age thing and text messaging, I am 29.
tanbark813 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 From my experience, try to keep the physical part of the relationship on check, don't rush into it for as long as you can. Trust me, he will respect you more and you will feel stronger as a a woman. My respect for a woman is always directly related to how honest, intelligent, and faithful she is rather than her ability to suppress a biological urge. But I'm weird like that.
peace_pipe Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 My respect for a woman is always directly related to how honest, intelligent, and faithful she is rather than her ability to suppress a biological urge. But I'm weird like that. Most men feel this way. Most women don't realize that if a guy is into them, it won't matter when they get physical. Unless its months and months....
spookie Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Most men feel this way. Most women don't realize that if a guy is into them, it won't matter when they get physical. Unless its months and months.... Some guys say this, and actually live by it. Others say it, but they don't even have themselves convinced. Many men I've met have told me that they WILL lose respect for a girl that has sex with them too quickly. The logic for is that if she's having sex without commitment with them, she must be doing it with 10 other guys. Personally, I've always thought that argument was crap (from what I know about myself and my friends, even we have a ONS, for us at least it's true that "we don't usually do this". I also think it's incredibly hypocritical to be judgmental of behavior your PARTICIPATED in. But, unfortunately, I think there is validity in what yk_2006 said. If you don't want to get "used" for sex, it's best to wait.
Monty P Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I'm doomed. :lmao:Ditto.. Don't use your phone while on a date. That's super annoying. I do agree with this more or less..Just don't spend all night on it. If you go out to the bar for a few, don't get hammered and start flirting with every guy in the place. It could be mildly amusing for your date, but usually just ends up being annoying.
jerbear Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 do talk about some hobbies! LOL :bunny: don't talk about spookie doomed and gloom topics; unless you're into that life style.
underpants Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I like to talk about personality disorders, creative ways to kill people, and gardening. I don't talk on my phone on dates though, that is kind of off putting.
Monty P Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I like to talk about personality disorders, creative ways to kill people, and gardening. I don't talk on my phone on dates though, that is kind of off putting. :confused:I wanted to ask you out for a drink........but that gardening thing is a bit too weird for me:laugh:
BlueEyedGirl Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Some people don't realize that if other person likes you and there is real chemistry, there is not much that you can do wrong.
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