stlnsmile Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 (edited) My boyfriend and I dated for a year and 3 mo. He broke up with me. When he broke up he said he was not feeling it anymore, and that he didn't think it would work out when he went to college, and that he had just needed someone at the time. But we did go out for a long time, and it seemed so right when we were together, he was my first everything, and I loved him with all of my heart. Now we have been no contact for about 6 weeks. I have not called him, or spoken to him at all. I don't even know if he is going out with someone or not. I broke NC this week because I truly needed to pick up my ski pants, I was leaving the next day for a trip.........I know, stupid. But I went to his house, picked up the pants, said thanks and turned around to walk away. Not more than a minute. But here's the thing.........he picked up my call right away, he met me at the door, which he had stopped doing when we went out, he waited the whole time I walked the long drive and sidewalk (country driveway, very long) and when I reached for the pants, he rubbed my arm at the elbow very tenderly, and looked at me sadly, and then watched me the whole time I walked back down the sidewalk and driveway and as I drove away, freezing his rear off, and the look on his face looked, well, weird, thats the only way I can put it.......was he just messing with me? I don't know what to do, I still love him and want him back, but I don't want to hear he does not love me again......I'm just starting to make it through all of this, and have met a nice guy. Part of me just thinks he was fishing, he wanted to know who I was going with, what I was doing, and make me think something before I potentially went off with another guy.....he had asked me on the phone when I called before going over, if I was going on a school trip. I said no, not with school. I just am so confused, I wish I could talk to him, and see if he has any feelings left for me, but he was so clear when we broke up. "He was not feeling it." Its killing me not to call and find out.......but I don't want my heart broken all over again. Once is enough. I feel like if he had really wanted me, if he really wanted to talk to me, wouldn't he have said, stop......wait! He has not tried to call me since, and it has been five days, which is why I think he was just messing with my head. I also know too, he is a very nice guy, and if he thought I do not want him, that I hate him, etc....he would be shy and not want to hurt my feelings, he knows he's hurt me already and probably does not want to do that again.......I just don't know.........help. He is 18 I'm 17, we were first loves......and I just don't know how he could just stop loving me. I guess he has, but then the other night.......why did he look at me that way......did he think I would come to him after he told me he did not love me? I am so confused....and I wish I could talk to him. But I can't stand for him to tell me again he has no feelings for me anymore. Wouldn't he call me if he had any feelings left? Even if he's the type who would be afraid to call if he thought he might get rejected.http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/icons/icon9.gif' alt='icon9.gif'> Edited January 22, 2008 by stlnsmile Add more
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