Rlehouse Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I have a bit of a dilemma...My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call...This past weekend, he was home from work from Friday night til today...He of course is hanging with his friends and their wives and kids and then once his wife goes home...he starts texting me up at 12:50 Friday night, 2 AM Saturday and then shows up this morning at 5 AM.... In the past few weeks, I've caught him going thru MY cell phone while I've been asleep...and one time he found a pic I had sent to my ex deployed to Iraq and he asked me about it...I was just shocked he would do that...And its not the first time...This morn when he came into my house (he has a key) I heard him downstairs messing with my birth control pills for some reason? Like he was making sure I was taking them or something... I guess I don't see why the he feels like he can try and control ME and what I'm doing w/the guilt trips, the snooping in my phone, my things...I just told him I'm not going to put up with that crap and what I do is my business. If he chooses to continue his marriage then he has NOTHING to say bout what I'm doing. He throws up, that how could he trust me if he can't now should he leave his wife? Whatever..I'm no idiot. I hate the feelings I have when I know he's home all weekend w/his wife and kids playing the happy family man, and just waiting for the second she leaves to blow my phone up to see me or talk. It makes me feel awful to be frank. The things that go thru my mind are awful and it hurts badly. I found myself crying at the wheel of my car yesterday on my way home from my parents house b/c I want to be there with him and his friends, and that...They all know about me, and like me...they talk to me a lot and think he's an idiot for not just getting a divorce b/c he and wife don't have anything left but the kids. But neither here nor there I guess. I just wanted to vent...Im feeling like sh** today bout this stuff. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore.
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call... And, what do you think about this? If you don't want to be at his beckon call then end the affair, stop being the OW in his life. Right now he has TWO women meeting all his needs and he isn't going to give that up. He isn't going to leave his wife and kids. You know this. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore. But don't you see? The choice is YOURS. If you don't want to be the OW anymore, YOU end it. Take control of your life. He has chosen to stay married and be in an affair with you. That's what he wants. So, you need to decide either to accept your role as the OW and be there for him on HIS terms and HIS time frame, or as hard as it will be for you, end it and go no contact, heal from him and move on.
Mustang Sally Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Wow. What a cake-eater he is. Sounds to me like you need to decide just what it is that YOU want and deserve.
Tripper Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 This sounds like a control issue. He's got the family life and friends happening then he gets to have his fun without responsibility with you. God forbid you should have a life outside of him. I'm not trying to be harsh, but you are being used and to some degree, being controlled when you put up with his crap. It's your life but if it were mine, I'd say time to make a decision... or goodbye..
GreenEyedLady Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I have a bit of a dilemma...My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call... This past weekend, he was home from work from Friday night til today...He of course is hanging with his friends and their wives and kids and then once his wife goes home...he starts texting me up at 12:50 Friday night, 2 AM Saturday and then shows up this morning at 5 AM.... In the past few weeks, I've caught him going thru MY cell phone while I've been asleep...and one time he found a pic I had sent to my ex deployed to Iraq and he asked me about it...I was just shocked he would do that...And its not the first time...This morn when he came into my house (he has a key) I heard him downstairs messing with my birth control pills for some reason? Like he was making sure I was taking them or something... I hate the feelings I have when I know he's home all weekend w/his wife and kids playing the happy family man, and just waiting for the second she leaves to blow my phone up to see me or talk. It makes me feel awful to be frank. The things that go thru my mind are awful and it hurts badly. I found myself crying at the wheel of my car yesterday on my way home from my parents house b/c I want to be there with him and his friends, and that...They all know about me, and like me...they talk to me a lot and think he's an idiot for not just getting a divorce b/c he and wife don't have anything left but the kids. But neither here nor there I guess. I just wanted to vent...Im feeling like sh** today bout this stuff. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore. OMG... There are so many problems here... First, I would not text him back or let him in if he was so disrespectful by expecting me to be at his beck and call in the middle of the night...He is using you as a booty call... I would make it clear that as long as he remains married, I will remain available to whom I choose... His snooping, OMG, that would just be the end... Why are you still with this man? You don't say anything about loving him and instead are pouring all of your hurt feelings out...That is telling...You're not getting what you need out of this R and you are feeling bad more often than good... I would not put up with this...You are getting zero benefit from this...And you deserve so much more... (((HUGS))) GEL
Author Rlehouse Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 You know you are right..I find myself hating this situation and living like this every day...and then he shows up, and I'm dumb about it...I just let him come and go as he pleases. I'm starting to find that Im hating him, and resenting him for leaving me out of his life...It just seems ridiculous to me...He's been caught with me several times now...Not his wife's fault that she keeps letting him come back b/c they use their two girls against each other...and its the same thing over and over again. I sometimes wish she would catch him again...I know thats immature and dumb..but just to see what happens. And for what? I know... I need some therapy! In a bad way...I just feel like my own self-esteem and worth has been placed at an all time low with the way he has dealt with me. That I'm weakened to the point I don't quit b/c of the way I feel about myself. Not him.
Author Rlehouse Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 To say I don't care for and love the man would be ridiculous...I do in so many ways...But the snooping, the questioning of my whereabouts, what I'm doing, etc...its soo unwarranted coming from HIM of all people....I find it repulsive half the time, and in some strange way...flattering...I think he knows how to manipulate the situation much to his own benefit...With both of us. I need to break away...I just have to find it in me and rally my support team to get me through this tough time coming. Thanks guys:)
GreenEyedLady Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Take your power back... Answer his calls/texts when you feel like it... You're the one with all the power here...Don't stand for this treatment...Make him respect you...
Gwyneth Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 This sounds like a control issue. I definitely think this is a Deep control issue he has. Be careful there--back up and run as FAST as you can.
Author Rlehouse Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 The control issues w/him run deep on both sides...Being in with his friends and hearing what they have told me about his and W relationship...He doesn't want her, but sure as hell doesn't want anyone to be with her or around their 2 daughters.... And answer the calls/texts when I feel like it...ver true...I'm turning my phone off at 12 each night. I told him that if he can't talk to me during "normal business hours" then he doesn't need to bother...With his job on the Railroad, he gets in or goes to work at weird hours...24/7...so, I've always left it open to him to stop by in the AM b4 going however the rules of MY house are that he gets nothing sexual from me b/c I won't have sex w/him not knowing if he was with HER before coming to my house...that just disgusts me...I'm sure she feels the same way thinking bout him w/me too...Ugg!
Meaplus3 Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I have a bit of a dilemma...My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call...This past weekend, he was home from work from Friday night til today...He of course is hanging with his friends and their wives and kids and then once his wife goes home...he starts texting me up at 12:50 Friday night, 2 AM Saturday and then shows up this morning at 5 AM.... In the past few weeks, I've caught him going thru MY cell phone while I've been asleep...and one time he found a pic I had sent to my ex deployed to Iraq and he asked me about it...I was just shocked he would do that...And its not the first time...This morn when he came into my house (he has a key) I heard him downstairs messing with my birth control pills for some reason? Like he was making sure I was taking them or something... I guess I don't see why the he feels like he can try and control ME and what I'm doing w/the guilt trips, the snooping in my phone, my things...I just told him I'm not going to put up with that crap and what I do is my business. If he chooses to continue his marriage then he has NOTHING to say bout what I'm doing. He throws up, that how could he trust me if he can't now should he leave his wife? Whatever..I'm no idiot. I hate the feelings I have when I know he's home all weekend w/his wife and kids playing the happy family man, and just waiting for the second she leaves to blow my phone up to see me or talk. It makes me feel awful to be frank. The things that go thru my mind are awful and it hurts badly. I found myself crying at the wheel of my car yesterday on my way home from my parents house b/c I want to be there with him and his friends, and that...They all know about me, and like me...they talk to me a lot and think he's an idiot for not just getting a divorce b/c he and wife don't have anything left but the kids. But neither here nor there I guess. I just wanted to vent...Im feeling like sh** today bout this stuff. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore. I'm sorry to say, but after reading through your post here it's seem's as though you are not much more than a side dish to this mm. This situation is so full of negative's and it seem's those negative's are having a poor affect on you. Really why bother with him? The more you stick with this the more you will hurt and the whole mess will end up beign one unproductive waste of your time. I would move on. AP:)
bentnotbroken Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 He sounds like a real control freak. You should change your locks. He doesn't need a key. Your birth control is your business. And if he and his wife are having problems, from the way he treats you, it's probable that he is treating her in the same manner. It maybe that is even more controlling than even you realize. You might want to consider ending this involvement before he gets more outragous. And thank God you aren't in his wife's position.
torranceshipman Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I hope to God he does pick a side and stay on it - his W's side!!!...you know why? Cause he is a freakin LOSER and a control freak and the moment he is out of your life, you'll have less stress, your self esteem will start coming back, then you'll start noticing the cute single guys and start having a really cool time with a cute guy that really appreciates you(-; Please get away from this man, he's nasty! And not dating other people? Please. Whatever the hell he was doing with your pills and your property (phone) - eugh - he should get his hands off your property. I would have this guy out the door faster than he could speak. He should EARN your respect and love and having a W, kids, control issues etc is really not the way to do it!!!! Plus he treats his W life a possession too - thats probably all both of you are to him.
justice Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I have a bit of a dilemma...My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call...This past weekend, he was home from work from Friday night til today...He of course is hanging with his friends and their wives and kids and then once his wife goes home...he starts texting me up at 12:50 Friday night, 2 AM Saturday and then shows up this morning at 5 AM.... In the past few weeks, I've caught him going thru MY cell phone while I've been asleep...and one time he found a pic I had sent to my ex deployed to Iraq and he asked me about it...I was just shocked he would do that...And its not the first time...This morn when he came into my house (he has a key) I heard him downstairs messing with my birth control pills for some reason? Like he was making sure I was taking them or something... I guess I don't see why the he feels like he can try and control ME and what I'm doing w/the guilt trips, the snooping in my phone, my things...I just told him I'm not going to put up with that crap and what I do is my business. If he chooses to continue his marriage then he has NOTHING to say bout what I'm doing. He throws up, that how could he trust me if he can't now should he leave his wife? Whatever..I'm no idiot. I hate the feelings I have when I know he's home all weekend w/his wife and kids playing the happy family man, and just waiting for the second she leaves to blow my phone up to see me or talk. It makes me feel awful to be frank. The things that go thru my mind are awful and it hurts badly. I found myself crying at the wheel of my car yesterday on my way home from my parents house b/c I want to be there with him and his friends, and that...They all know about me, and like me...they talk to me a lot and think he's an idiot for not just getting a divorce b/c he and wife don't have anything left but the kids. But neither here nor there I guess. I just wanted to vent...Im feeling like sh** today bout this stuff. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore. *saying this as gently as I can* You need to get out of this relationship, it's bringing you down, do you honestly want this for the rest of your time together but not with him? He won't leave his wife or his kids or the circle of their friends. They are married and it's likely to stay that way. Please get out of this relationship now before you find yourself doing more than just crying.
Gwyneth Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 The control issues w/him run deep on both sides...Being in with his friends and hearing what they have told me about his and W relationship...He doesn't want her, but sure as hell doesn't want anyone to be with her or around their 2 daughters.... And answer the calls/texts when I feel like it...ver true...I'm turning my phone off at 12 each night. I told him that if he can't talk to me during "normal business hours" then he doesn't need to bother...With his job on the Railroad, he gets in or goes to work at weird hours...24/7...so, I've always left it open to him to stop by in the AM b4 going however the rules of MY house are that he gets nothing sexual from me b/c I won't have sex w/him not knowing if he was with HER before coming to my house...that just disgusts me...I'm sure she feels the same way thinking bout him w/me too...Ugg! A friend of mine is in a similiar situation--he doesn't want to be with his wife, but he also doesn't want his children to be separated from him. So he's sticking it out with the wife for the kids' sake. I guess that's good, but at the same time, is it healthy for children to be in an unhappy home setting?
Owl Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 its soo unwarranted coming from HIM of all people.... This quote should be a wake up call for you. Here is the man "that you love"...and that's how you feel about him. You don't respect him because of how he's cheated on his wife. Not a basis for a solid relationship. If you don't trust him NOW (and you shouldn't), you can't expect it to ever get better later unless he does some kind of miraculous turnaround. Given the way he's acting, my response is the standard. RUN, do not walk, but RUN away from any further relationship with this guy.
Author Rlehouse Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 I love reading your replies...Its a gut-wrenching situation...I was telling my bff earlier...I want to dump him, catch the next flight out of town to ATL and stay with her for a few days to cry it out, talk, and have my best friends support b/c I know its going to be so effing hard and when I get back straight to my therapists chair! Last night MM and I had a discussion about what the plans for our future are, if there are any. Short background, his mother abandoned him and his brother when they were young due to drugs and her infidelity to his father, whom he isn't sure is his dad...they are from Kentucky and they have a lack of communication in their family...So, his dad remarries a young woman who was 18 at the time he was 10...He's got issues with women stemming back to birth literally...he knows this... I told him last night that a big part of me wants him to get caught with me again so she would divorce him, but the bigger part of me wants him to do it on his own terms if he really wanted to be with me. His reply was that he feels a tremendous amount of guilt b/c I'm not in a relationship w/companionship, support and thats healthy. But the guilt he feels "abandoning" his daughters (5 & 3) would be that he couldn't live with no matter how he justifies it, or if its the right thing... I don't see it as abandoning his children by leaving his marriage to someone that he continues to cheat on. I just said that I wished after the last time she caught him with me, and she took him back that he had gone to counselling himself to work out the issues in his head, and his own thoughts and feelings about his life..he agreed, and admitted that he lives in denial about his past, his present, and he is selfish. Thank you sweet Jesus. His words were that he was a twisted wreck living in denial....Divine. Im ready to get on with my life, and I know I have my own issues and problems to deal with first. I realized that I don't have to save him or fix him and that I have the opportunity to move on with my life...And find someone that I'm going to fall in love with and he is still going to be stuck in the same sedentary unhappy marriage/life that he has always been in. I laugh a lil bit when he says he doesn't know what he would do if he couldn't talk to me or see me anymore, but I just think what the hell did you do before me? Sure its going to be hard for us both....but he knows he doesn't want to leave her for me no matter how hard it is to let me go away. Thats the stark reality I faced last night. I feel like I do give him something to look forward to when he gets away from her and taking that away from him is my only satisfaction that he will feel some of the pain that I have myself. Not being mean, but truth is, I want him to hurt too...I spent almost 2 years of my life with this man's non-sense..I don't hate him, but I hate myself for letting it go on this long. Its painful, yes, but what needs to be done is going to have to be done and now. Sometimes I see the sunshine at the end of the storm. He's a storm thats cast a long standing shadow. Im in the process of figuring out what I need and want to say to him to break away for good now. thanks for you help:)
KATANYA Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 Hi Rlehouse. Your MM, his issues, and what 'he' is going to do it not the issue here! You have to decide what YOU are going to do. My exMM gave me some of the same lines as yours is using. At one time, he told me that I could only have 'part of him, part of the time' and that he felt I wanted more. He said its not that he didn't want to be there, he just couldn't. Much the same as your MM, my ExMM also told me 'I would be so jealous if you found someone but I know its what you deserve!". OMG...where do these men get this stuff!!!!!! I know you love him and parts of you want to hold out hope that there is a tomorrow for you and him but chances are THIS IS THE MOST YOU ARE EVER GONNA GET FROM HIM!!!! You either accept it or you move on (as hard as that is!) You ask a good question.....What did he do before you? You know what, probably someone else!!!! Not to say he doesnt have feelings for you but you say he had 'woman' issues stemming from the past and, really, his marriage cannot be that old (3 & 5 year old?) so you know there is still a relationship with W and, further, he hasn't waited long into the marriage to find 'something else' to fulfill needs that we both know he will never fulfill until he gets therapy! As hard as it is, take that trip to your friends' place, go home to your parents, do whatever you need to do to rejuvinate yourself and find the stength to end this. You are crying at the wheel of your car, you say you want to end it......not signs of a woman in love and happy!!!! You deserve to be happy and you deserve respect - two things MM can't or won't give you! Good Luck....((hugs)))
Love is Tragic Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I have a bit of a dilemma...My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call...This past weekend, he was home from work from Friday night til today...He of course is hanging with his friends and their wives and kids and then once his wife goes home...he starts texting me up at 12:50 Friday night, 2 AM Saturday and then shows up this morning at 5 AM.... In the past few weeks, I've caught him going thru MY cell phone while I've been asleep...and one time he found a pic I had sent to my ex deployed to Iraq and he asked me about it...I was just shocked he would do that...And its not the first time...This morn when he came into my house (he has a key) I heard him downstairs messing with my birth control pills for some reason? Like he was making sure I was taking them or something... I guess I don't see why the he feels like he can try and control ME and what I'm doing w/the guilt trips, the snooping in my phone, my things...I just told him I'm not going to put up with that crap and what I do is my business. If he chooses to continue his marriage then he has NOTHING to say bout what I'm doing. He throws up, that how could he trust me if he can't now should he leave his wife? Whatever..I'm no idiot. I hate the feelings I have when I know he's home all weekend w/his wife and kids playing the happy family man, and just waiting for the second she leaves to blow my phone up to see me or talk. It makes me feel awful to be frank. The things that go thru my mind are awful and it hurts badly. I found myself crying at the wheel of my car yesterday on my way home from my parents house b/c I want to be there with him and his friends, and that...They all know about me, and like me...they talk to me a lot and think he's an idiot for not just getting a divorce b/c he and wife don't have anything left but the kids. But neither here nor there I guess. I just wanted to vent...Im feeling like sh** today bout this stuff. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore. Ugh, when i was with exMM, he used to act jealous and slightly controlling too, while at the same time saying," i dont have a right to be jealous" over and over, lol. Part of me kindof liked his jealously towards my H or to other men i talked to, and part of me was thinking, "wtf??". Sounds like he has enough feelings for you to feel like he has a right to control you/be jealous-whatever, but not enough to leave his wife to be with you. He truely is a cake-eater, my exMM was too, although i didnt really mind it because i was married as well and pretty much doing the same thing, minus the jealousy. Ill tell you why MM wont leave his wife-it costs money. Plain and simple-they dont want to pay child support/alimony, or any other costs that come up. Ive lost count of how many MM i know that are always saying, "im leaving as soon as the kids turn 18", or "i cant stand my wife, but i have to stay for the kids, i cant afford to get divorced". Its sad really, that these are the same men who end up having a 2nd, or even 3rd child with their wife, even though they claim they cant stand them. In a way, they are just whipped.
Author Rlehouse Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 I understand what you are saying...The jealousy, controlling things are something that I've gotten used to, and seen him be hurt and angry and just enraged by it at times....The bottom line with him is...His 2 daughters....They are 5 & 3. He said the other day, that even if it is the right thing to do by leaving HER, he couldn't live with the guilt over abandoning his girls...Okay, well, he gets no sympathy from me on that. I just tell him that he isn't doing his daughters any favors by continuing his relationship with me on the side and his 5 year old every time they drive by MY HOUSE asks "daddy are we going to your friends house?"...His wife caught him at my house w/the girls in the van....Right...So, a 5 year old will make sense of this as an adult.... It does cost a lot of money to divorce...I understand that the financial concerns, the changes that would be made are unbearable to him...But the alternative to continue hurting everyone involved isn't cheap on the emotions.... I love the man...I can't deny that...We've been together going on a year and a half now...Many ups and downs. When its good, its great, when its bad, its terrible....But, I've hung in there thru the worst of the worst. I deserve better, his wife deserves better, and mostly his kids deserve better than what HE is dealing us. I can't imagine the thoughts that go thru his mind when he contemplates leaving...I suggest separating and going to counselling to sort thru his feelings and make an informed decision.... I know that at some point things will come to a head once again...she's suspicious to this day...Its a matter of time, when it all comes out again, and then what...I said find me, I'll be the one saying I told you so:) And I have...I told you this is going to blow and kids or not, she will put you out for being the biggest lying husband. How could she not leave him when he's swore its over, he ended things with me b/c he thought the grass would be greener on the other side, yet still is in touch, calls, visits, etc... who knows...I hope things will turn out the way I want...
Babybird Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 If his biggest fear is you being with another man than let him find evidence. Start leaving texts in your phone, e-mails on the computer, send yourself flowers. Let him know that you are not someones property to be controlled and you do have other options. When I was with my MM I set a date. If he hadn't left her by then I was done. I didn't care how hard it was going to be, I was better and deserved more than what I was getting out of the A. He didn't know about the date. Before my date was met his W left him for another man. It was a lovely little triangle. She was with a man she worked with and he was with a woman he worked with. Anyway, distance yourself and let him know that that you aren't some sap that can't live without him and you will not wait forever. My mom always told me that men liked women that were a challenge. Giving them everything and them knowing they can have you body, heart, and soul isn't a challenge. Make him wonder. Let him know you deserve more. See where that gets ya!!
EYECANDY000 Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 Take your power back... Answer his calls/texts when you feel like it... You're the one with all the power here...Don't stand for this treatment...Make him respect you... Agreed. And the next step is to change the locks on our house. For him to be able to come and go freely is a control issue. He wants to make sure he is dominant in the relationship and let you know that he should be able to come whenever and not see a male figure in your home.
jaslene2009 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 You know, Most MM have built an illusion on what a great family should be like. Two kids, nice house, nice cars, great job, and a decent homemaker. The reality is they want a woman that on the side that is opposite of the BW. You are doing the right thing by going out and having friends. You are not married to him and he needs to understand that. May sure you are always clear of your postion with him. Never, hold anything back from him. Besides you deserve someone that is going to spend time with you and cherish you. Let him be with his wifey and kids. If he is miserable in his marriage, it has nothing to do with you. I have a bit of a dilemma...My MM doesn't want to leave his wife, yet he thinks that I should remain single and essentially be at his beckon call...This past weekend, he was home from work from Friday night til today...He of course is hanging with his friends and their wives and kids and then once his wife goes home...he starts texting me up at 12:50 Friday night, 2 AM Saturday and then shows up this morning at 5 AM.... In the past few weeks, I've caught him going thru MY cell phone while I've been asleep...and one time he found a pic I had sent to my ex deployed to Iraq and he asked me about it...I was just shocked he would do that...And its not the first time...This morn when he came into my house (he has a key) I heard him downstairs messing with my birth control pills for some reason? Like he was making sure I was taking them or something... I guess I don't see why the he feels like he can try and control ME and what I'm doing w/the guilt trips, the snooping in my phone, my things...I just told him I'm not going to put up with that crap and what I do is my business. If he chooses to continue his marriage then he has NOTHING to say bout what I'm doing. He throws up, that how could he trust me if he can't now should he leave his wife? Whatever..I'm no idiot. I hate the feelings I have when I know he's home all weekend w/his wife and kids playing the happy family man, and just waiting for the second she leaves to blow my phone up to see me or talk. It makes me feel awful to be frank. The things that go thru my mind are awful and it hurts badly. I found myself crying at the wheel of my car yesterday on my way home from my parents house b/c I want to be there with him and his friends, and that...They all know about me, and like me...they talk to me a lot and think he's an idiot for not just getting a divorce b/c he and wife don't have anything left but the kids. But neither here nor there I guess. I just wanted to vent...Im feeling like sh** today bout this stuff. I just want him to pick a side and stay on it. My side or her side...but not both anymore.
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