carrotgirl Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Someone tell me if I'm reading in or if this is what it seems. That old ex who's been sitting in with our legal team asked me to lunch today. Just me. Then he started texting me. He's been texting me for the last hour. He just got around to asking me if I've been dating GD. WTF? Carrot
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Holy *$&A^%@#&A!! So the old ex definitely was coming on to me again. Stone cold sober too. Yippee. Just what I need. An old ex flirting with me in front of the future father of my children. What could he be thinking? Then the hammering on about am I coupled with GD? Yah. Let me think about that question a while. You obviously have no personal agenda asking me and any woman would understand that your ego wants to be sure your penis is bigger than his. Yes, he actually ASKED me this. Let me consider my answer. Carrot's answer - It's none of your business but, yes, we're friends. If you want a different answer you have to ask a different girl. Like for instance, YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Why don't you go home and ask your girlfriend if she thinks Carrot and GD are sleeping together? And while you're at it you can ask her how big she thinks his penis is, but if the wonderment is going to kill you, he's 2 inches taller than you are. You do the math. I don't know what is wrong with this man. I am sorry if his sex life isn't all he wanted it to be. I am sorry that he still walks around drooling after my body. I am sorry that he gets drunk with my GD and tries talking about my hard body. God! No wonder GD is jealous. On second thought, I'll have to thank him for that some day. BUT WTF? Who does this? What is he hoping to get out of it? So we had one very balls to the wall conversation. I can handle it if he tries to get to me. He can try all he wants but if he tries to touch GD, hurts him or any one of my friends personally or professionally in any way, I will have him disbarred and socially humiliated even if it means my career goes in the toilet too. There are limits. Anyone who doubted Carrot could get good and pissed off needn't doubt any more.
Touche Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Holy *$&A^%@#&A!! So the old ex definitely was coming on to me again. Stone cold sober too. Yippee. Just what I need. An old ex flirting with me in front of the future father of my children. What could he be thinking? Then the hammering on about am I coupled with GD? Yah. Let me think about that question a while. You obviously have no personal agenda asking me and any woman would understand that your ego wants to be sure your penis is bigger than his. Yes, he actually ASKED me this. Let me consider my answer. Carrot's answer - It's none of your business but, yes, we're friends. If you want a different answer you have to ask a different girl. Like for instance, YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Why don't you go home and ask your girlfriend if she thinks Carrot and GD are sleeping together? And while you're at it you can ask her how big she thinks his penis is, but if the wonderment is going to kill you, he's 2 inches taller than you are. You do the math. I don't know what is wrong with this man. I am sorry if his sex life isn't all he wanted it to be. I am sorry that he still walks around drooling after my body. I am sorry that he gets drunk with my GD and tries talking about my hard body. God! No wonder GD is jealous. On second thought, I'll have to thank him for that some day. BUT WTF? Who does this? What is he hoping to get out of it? So we had one very balls to the wall conversation. I can handle it if he tries to get to me. He can try all he wants but if he tries to touch GD, hurts him or any one of my friends personally or professionally in any way, I will have him disbarred and socially humiliated even if it means my career goes in the toilet too. There are limits. Anyone who doubted Carrot could get good and pissed off needn't doubt any more. I've gone out with short men with huge penises and tall ones with smaller ones. But then, I've never been that good at math. I don't doubt that you're pissed off anymore though. You've made it perfectly clear to me this time.
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 I've gone out with short men with huge penises and tall ones with smaller ones. But then, I've never been that good at math. Let him suffer. It's none of his business what GD looks like naked. The statistic mean is that the penis is proportionate to the rest of the man in terms of build. GD IS 2 inches taller and overall, bigger. It should be obvious who's c*ck rocks the block regardless of size or anything else. What a colossal idiot! Carrot
Touche Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Let him suffer. It's none of his business what GD looks like naked. The statistic mean is that the penis is proportionate to the rest of the man in terms of build. GD IS 2 inches taller and overall, bigger. It should be obvious who's c*ck rocks the block regardless of size or anything else. What a colossal idiot! Carrot Ok, I'm really confused now. You said he's a "colossal" idiot but I thought you said he was smaller than GD. What's bigger than "colossal?"
Trimmer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 And while you're at it you can ask her how big she thinks his penis is, but if the wonderment is going to kill you, he's 2 inches taller than you are. You do the math. I've gone out with short men with huge penises and tall ones with smaller ones. But then, I've never been that good at math. Let him suffer. It's none of his business what GD looks like naked. The statistic mean is that the penis is proportionate to the rest of the man in terms of build. GD IS 2 inches taller and overall, bigger. It should be obvious who's c*ck rocks the block regardless of size or anything else. What a colossal idiot! Ha! From her original note, I assumed that the "2 inches taller" referred directly to penis length. Maybe that's a guy thing, but when you're talking about penis length and you say "he's 2 inches taller", I just assumed you were talking direct measurement here... And I suppose if he comes to that conclusion, so much the better, eh?
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Well, just so you know, my ex-husband was 6'5" with a size 15 shoe, and he had BY FAR the tiniest dick I'd ever seen. I had to constantly lie to him and say it was "perfectly average" with a smile on my face. I loved him, so I didn't much care about the size and we made it work, but when I made up my "Why I'm glad I am getting divorced" list, meeting a guy with a bigger dick was at the top of the list! Ok, enough thread-jacking...
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Well, just so you know, my ex-husband was 6'5" with a size 15 shoe, and he had BY FAR the tiniest dick I'd ever seen. I had to constantly lie to him and say it was "perfectly average" with a smile on my face. I loved him, so I didn't much care about the size and we made it work, but when I made up my "Why I'm glad I am getting divorced" list, meeting a guy with a bigger dick was at the top of the list! Ok, enough thread-jacking... Bah. You're a better woman than I am Crest! I've refused to have sex with a guy on account of his ridiculously small sized dick twice. One was like a licorice string and the other was like a tiny lemon. Yeucchh. GD has penis size issues. He seriously thinks his is too small. It's second to "I'm fat" on the list of annoying things he says. I just ignore him now since I'm the size of your average 11 year old (it used to be 12 but kids are bigger these days!) and what does he want? For me to get smaller? Ignore. Ignore! I'm still frothing over all this whole afternoon. He pried. He went out of his way to ask incredibly personal questions that he had no business asking. And not once did he ask the important questions. Though he told me about his drinking with GD and how he got GD drunk and GD told him how he felt about me blah blah blah blah blah blah. As if it was all a big secret? And his patronizing, I like GD. He's a really great guy. Blah blah blah. Whatever.
Touche Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Ok, so I'm really confused here. I'm not that up on your situation, CG but isn't GD your EX? But earlier you said he's the future father of your children? Whaaa? I'm so confused. And you never answered me about your colossal ex.
jdeedee Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 From what I've gathered: GD is her most recent ex EX is an older ex They both want her back, she dislikes EX and is confused regarding GD (he is confused as well, ended the relationship and wants her back now that he realised what he lost)
Touche Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 From what I've gathered: GD is her most recent ex EX is an older ex They both want her back, she dislikes EX and is confused regarding GD (he is confused as well, ended the relationship and wants her back now that he realised what he lost) Oh ok, thanks jd. Im still confused though.
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Ha ha ha ha ha! The colossal idiot is the ex before GD who is my ex and all right, also my we're kind of seeing if there is another name for him other than ex so it's just easier to say GD. I feel badly enough about that as it is. It's a stand in for Giant Douche! Someday I'll tell him. But not just yet. Though in the not too distant past I actually just called him a giant douche and it was satisfying in more ways than one. So you want me to dish actual dimensions? Size. Apparently it does matter. Talk about wounding a girl. They're both large. Yah, it's no secret I like a big man. Not just height wise. I love having a little something extra to hold weight wise too. So okay, big man, big man, big penis, big penis. They're both exceptional lovers. CI had experience and hubris working for him. GD has more important things like fidelity, honesty and a mouth that has no equal. Oh my god. I'm ready for the sex now please. Carrot
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 (edited) Oh ok, thanks jd. Im still confused though. The colossal idiot (CI) is an ex from YEARS ago. What an idiot. He doesn't want me back he just wants to f*sk. Big difference. I'm not confused about GD. He is confused about me. What else is confusing? Edited January 22, 2008 by carrotgirl
Touche Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Why did you break up? Did he break up with you? No offense but if I had an ex that I called a Giant Douche I wouldn't also be calling him the future father of my children. Also, you seem unusually concerned with size.
Trimmer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 The colossal idiot (CI) is an ex from YEARS ago. What an idiot. He doesn't want me back he just wants to f*sk. Big difference. I'm not confused about GD. He is confused about me. What else is confusing? I'm still struggling in my confusion over the whole-person vs. penis thing. To which does "Giant Douche" refer?
underpants Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Oh Carrot, You have 2 big dicks after you. They are drinking buddies? Oh, Lordy. I wonder if Exlax has done his own comparison to GD upon mutual visits to the bathroom.
Trialbyfire Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Big dicks can be nice. Giant Douches aren't...
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Why did you break up? Did he break up with you? No offense but if I had an ex that I called a Giant Douche I wouldn't also be calling him the future father of my children. Also, you seem unusually concerned with size. Best laugh in a long time! In order, I still don't know why we broke up. We went from bliss one day to broken the next. Most of our friends have said it was cold feet. He broke up with me. I'm not offended. Blame the name on Sedgwick. I do. I had a very hard time keeping a straight face when I said it because he really was acting like such a giant douche at that moment in time but now of course, GD is like a preposterous term of endearment. And also because for me to say anything like that out loud always sounds silly and funny. There is reason to believe a multiple birth is in our future. He actually wouldn't shut up about it for a while. Could be why he broke up with me in the first place. It's been a long time since I felt this good. Carrot
Touche Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I'm still struggling in my confusion over the whole-person vs. penis thing. To which does "Giant Douche" refer? Giant Douche is the bigger penis. The other guy is just a a colossal idiot. Pay attention, Trimmer!
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Oh Carrot, You have 2 big dicks after you. They are drinking buddies? Oh, Lordy. I wonder if Exlax has done his own comparison to GD upon mutual visits to the bathroom. Unders you are the clear winner! CI is out Exlax is in! As furr as name calling goes. Great universe NO they are NOT drinking buddies. GD can't stand Exlax. Hates him. Thinks he's the scum of the earth. They just happened to be out with other people together and Exlax took advantage. I don't want to picture them in the bathroom together thanks. GD isn't Exlax's type anyway.
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Big dicks can be nice. Giant Douches aren't... Tri? Is it that you will never approve of a Carrot - GD partnership? Or does GD have a new name beckoning. Waffle boy just didn't stick. Carrot
Trialbyfire Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Tri? Is it that you will never approve of a Carrot - GD partnership? Or does GD have a new name beckoning. Waffle boy just didn't stick. Carrot I will approve when he mans up and treats carrot, like he should. If maple syrup isn't doing the stick-trick, try superglue.
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 I'm still struggling in my confusion over the whole-person vs. penis thing. To which does "Giant Douche" refer? Trimmer, GD is the loves-me-as-a-whole-person man. The colossal idiot from years ago is now being called Exlax. Sed, I think you better come up with some new names for GD. Either he's earning a better place in LS lore than Giant Douche or I'm just not hating enough! Or something like that. Touche, I was poking (ahem) fun at your going back to the size question! Ha! But stringy-red and lemon-like are just too icky to consider. A girl has got to have her standards. And did you see the part about the talented mouth. Gifted I tell you. Size matters not when ya got action like GD. I need to eat something. Suddenly I'm starving.
Trimmer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Giant Douche is the bigger penis. The other guy is just a a colossal idiot. Pay attention, Trimmer! Sorry... It's hard enough keeping my CI/Exlax and GD straight, but I'm also suffering from confusion between penis and vagina threads. I'll get a grip. (... and then I'll resolve my confusion... )
Author carrotgirl Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 I will approve when he mans up and treats carrot, like he should. If maple syrup isn't doing the stick-trick, try superglue. It's not the sap in the pole but the glue in the gun?
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