oppath Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Interesting interpretation. lol. It's not what he said at all, actually, but again, I left a lot out, for the sake of brevity. He said his feelings ARE there, its just that he is not in a position right now for a serious relationship leading to marriage in a year or so with ANYONE. His career is too important right now, and he is choosing to make that his priority and his focus. He wasn't nearly as casual as your interpretation. He still very much wants to keep seeing each other and see what happens. I am just not interested in running the risk that even if our feelings develop deeper for each other, that I would still be benched in lieu of the 5-year plan. And I have no feelings of hostility towards him to drop kick him out of my life. I am thankful he was honest, and therefore gave me the ability to make my own choice. I just never quite believe the "it has nothing to do with a lack of feelings" angle, probably because I've been given that line but then she goes and tells her friends "it's not big deal. I'm over it. Bring on the next guy." It's entirely possible that he has feelings, I'm sure of it, but all that matters is right now, they aren't enough. His feelings aren't strong enough and they are not likely to become more strong anytime soon. If you want to chalk it up as "timing", that's cool. I think that is more healthy than "he's just not into you" because that line isn't quite accurate either. But nonetheless, he is not into you enough right now. That is all that matters.
Krytie TV Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I'm completey confused and disappointed by this thread. What's the point of this relationship?
StartingOver07 Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 So I just got an email from the baller. I would paste it, but a lot of it rambles and goes off on tangents, and his spelling and grammar kinda suck (lol) so I will refrain and just excerpt it - lol. He basically told me the following: He does indeed like me very much and did last year as well. He said he feels a great connection with me, and that it sometimes leaves him not sure what to do about "us", so often it is easier for him to push me out of his world for the moment (or longer - lol), like last night. He went on to say that the reason he holds me at arms length is because he puts his career as #1 right now in his life. He said although he has a great contract and is very well ranked, he always feels like he has to look behind himself to make sure someone younger or faster or stronger isn't closing in. He said that since he knows he has a short pro career, he is totally commited to focusing solely on that for now. He went on to say that I am everything he would want in a wife, a partner, etc., just that for right now, he can't give me a 100% time commitment to the relationship. He said he fears "losing himself" from being with me, and therefore losing focus on work. He said he wished we had met 5 years from now... So, he said he really wants to continue seeing me, and seeing how things go and grow between us. He said he doesnt want me out of his life, but he also fears he can't give me what I deserve right now. I am thankful for his honesty, but I also am not looking to be Ms. Right Now. I don't want to play ****s and giggles for a few months, until he leaves in July for camp and he tells me, "But, babe, you KNEW I had to leave! I'll see you in January (or February)!" OK, I know it wouldn't quite be like that, but still... I just need something in my life right now that has more open possibilities, rather than a "potential 5-year plan". I truly respect his dedication and focus, and if he were me, I can't say I would be any different. I just think this is not going to be the situation I want in my life, and I am going to (sadly) walk from it. :( JB, this is undoubtedly disappointing but it does seem that he is thinking about you and is at least being forthcoming with you. FWIW, I think he does care about you although it appears he cannot give you what you need.
4givrnt4gtr Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 He went on to say that I am everything he would want in a wife, a partner, etc., just that for right now, he can't give me a 100% time commitment to the relationship. He said he fears "losing himself" from being with me, and therefore losing focus on work. He said he wished we had met 5 years from now... Oy....I swear there has GOT to be a secret book only men get. I SWEAR my last ex told me the exact. same. thing. Including the "if id only met you 5 years from now" and the "i just cant give you 100% right now" Total trip. ANYWAY im glad you made the decision you made. I once saw a quote (which help me get thru those same lines) that says "NEVER MAKE A PRIORITY SOMEONE WHO ONLY SEES YOU AS AN OPTION" Good call on your part.
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 So I just got an email from the baller. I would paste it, but a lot of it rambles and goes off on tangents, and his spelling and grammar kinda suck (lol) so I will refrain and just excerpt it - lol. He basically told me the following: He does indeed like me very much and did last year as well. He said he feels a great connection with me, and that it sometimes leaves him not sure what to do about "us", so often it is easier for him to push me out of his world for the moment (or longer - lol), like last night. He went on to say that the reason he holds me at arms length is because he puts his career as #1 right now in his life. He said although he has a great contract and is very well ranked, he always feels like he has to look behind himself to make sure someone younger or faster or stronger isn't closing in. He said that since he knows he has a short pro career, he is totally commited to focusing solely on that for now. He went on to say that I am everything he would want in a wife, a partner, etc., just that for right now, he can't give me a 100% time commitment to the relationship. He said he fears "losing himself" from being with me, and therefore losing focus on work. He said he wished we had met 5 years from now... So, he said he really wants to continue seeing me, and seeing how things go and grow between us. He said he doesnt want me out of his life, but he also fears he can't give me what I deserve right now. I am thankful for his honesty, but I also am not looking to be Ms. Right Now. I don't want to play ****s and giggles for a few months, until he leaves in July for camp and he tells me, "But, babe, you KNEW I had to leave! I'll see you in January (or February)!" OK, I know it wouldn't quite be like that, but still... I just need something in my life right now that has more open possibilities, rather than a "potential 5-year plan". I truly respect his dedication and focus, and if he were me, I can't say I would be any different. I just think this is not going to be the situation I want in my life, and I am going to (sadly) walk from it. Jilly - that sounds a lot like the conversation BF and I had at the end of the year. A few days later he had a complete change of heart to the extent that he found himself willing to work at BOTH his career and a relationship. You never know what might happen with this baller guy. If you want to walk, walk. But just don't get too far away...
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