SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I've looked thu a few profiles lately and I don't know how to take something I've come across. A few seamed nice but some had "I'd like to find a nice girl but I'm open to any fun that may come my way as well" Now I know what that means but I'm not sure if thats a person I would contact. Every thing else seams nice in the profile until that just seams a bit tacky to me. So I guess my question is directed to other females here would that be a bit of a turn off for you as well? Just wondering if I'm reading to much into that or not. I guess maybe in the end its personal choice but curious as to what others may think of it as well.
Leia Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 It will turn me off too. I don't pay attention to those who are looking for a nice girl but want a piece of action on the side. You want me, you can only have me and only me. If you can't deal with that... you can go elsewhere~!
EYECANDY000 Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 TUrn off times 10!!! any one who says that is a dirty girl and if he's a guy he's a diry boy!
melodymatters Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 ...or perhaps they mean they'd love to find Ms right, but meeting interesting, new people would be cool too ?
alphamale Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I wouldn't recommend internet dating. Meeting people during your daily life is the hardest but still the best way of meeting potential romantic partners
compassion42 Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I wouldn't contact someone who said that in their profile because I'm looking for more than just fun-but at least they are being honest about it instead of misleading people.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 ...or perhaps they mean they'd love to find Ms right, but meeting interesting, new people would be cool too ? MM- I would love to think that but I highly disagree. If you are seeking someone new to get to know, having a good time with someone goes without saying. Unless they are looking for something a little more extra!
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 Kinda agree EYECANDY000 but there is a few ways you could take that if you think about it. I personally take it as if I find a great girl wonderful but if any free @ss also comes along I'll take it. Which to me isn't the best way to present one self if you are genuinely looking for a nice girl. Because allot of nice girls may very well be turned off by an easy guy. Even if the rest of the package seams nice. It just seams against what there trying to do honestly and thats why I didn't get it but like some one else said least there honest.
Zolie Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I think they mean that they are looking for a nice girl to settle down with into a serious, monogamous relationship, but they don't want to sound too pushy and clingy, so they qualify the statement with the remark about being willing to just date someone casually.
Trimmer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 (edited) I think it's reading a lot into it to assume it refers to settling down and casual dating, etc... Just from the structure of the sentence "I'd like to find a nice girl but..." whatever comes after the "but" just ends up sounding like a specifically stated counterpoint to "finding a nice girl." So I can't realistically hear it as "I'm not clingy" or "I'm willing to date casually, too..." It just sounds like "In the interim, I wouldn't mind doing some no-strings-attached romping with a not-so-nice girl, too..." If the writer had meant "looking for a LTR eventually, but I'm open to no-heavy-expectations dating for fun and companionship too," or some variant of that, then he/she could have - and probably would have - worded it much better. Edited January 22, 2008 by Trimmer
Art_Critic Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I wouldn't recommend internet dating. Why not ? I met my wife on Match... it does work... I will say though that it took years to snag a good one... I did have to weed thru a bunch of losers thru out the years I dated women from online sites though.. but all in all it was worth it to me.
Phateless Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Does phraseology matter all that much? Doesn't it all amount to the same thing? Off the top of my head "For now I'm just meeting people and seeing what happens, and hoping that someone amazing comes along." Would that really strike you that much differently from "I'm looking for something long-term but fun in the meantime is definitely welcome?"
Trimmer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Does phraseology matter all that much? Doesn't it all amount to the same thing? Off the top of my head "For now I'm just meeting people and seeing what happens, and hoping that someone amazing comes along." Would that really strike you that much differently from "I'm looking for something long-term but fun in the meantime is definitely welcome?" I think phraseology does matter; whether you pick it apart consciously or not, it does make an impression. We could argue all day over what the person actually meant, and never know for sure... I understand your interpretation, but the way I hear the statement in the OP isn't "long-term vs. light-hearted fun-for-now" but "eventual nice girl vs. git me some lovin' in the short term." I could be wrong, and that particular advertiser could be completely innocent, but based on the wording of the statement, I understand Spanks' unease upon reading it.
Phateless Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I think phraseology does matter; whether you pick it apart consciously or not, it does make an impression. We could argue all day over what the person actually meant, and never know for sure... I understand your interpretation, but the way I hear the statement in the OP isn't "long-term vs. light-hearted fun-for-now" but "eventual nice girl vs. git me some lovin' in the short term." I could be wrong, and that particular advertiser could be completely innocent, but based on the wording of the statement, I understand Spanks' unease upon reading it. Makes sense. The flipside of that is that most people are barely capable in the English language in the first place. I could go on all day about their/there/they're or than/than or seams/seems or hear/here etc. <shakes head> Thing is... that's exactly what I meant when I typed up both of my euphemisms. The two ways you phrased it still mean exactly the same thing, don't they? If not, then tell me what the difference is? I dunno, my ex would get on my case about one or two words in a sentence and it just seemed (not seamed!) out of proportion to me.
Phateless Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I've looked thu a few profiles lately and I don't know how to take something I've come across. A few seamed nice but some had "I'd like to find a nice girl but I'm open to any fun that may come my way as well" Now I know what that means but I'm not sure if thats a person I would contact. Every thing else seams nice in the profile until that just seams a bit tacky to me. So I guess my question is directed to other females here would that be a bit of a turn off for you as well? Just wondering if I'm reading to much into that or not. I guess maybe in the end its personal choice but curious as to what others may think of it as well. Spanks - is it the idea of "fun for now" that bothers you, or is it the way the online dater referred to it? Would things change for this guy if he said something like - "I'm open to anything and meeting new people but I would really like to find someone long-term eventually?" How would YOU phrase it in a non-creepy way?
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Spanks - is it the idea of "fun for now" that bothers you, or is it the way the online dater referred to it? Would things change for this guy if he said something like - "I'm open to anything and meeting new people but I would really like to find someone long-term eventually?" How would YOU phrase it in a non-creepy way? Perhaps it was the wording I found to be a bit of a turn off. But then again to me I'm open to anything wouldn't quite sit well either. There is a time and a place for certain things. Its human nature we all want sex once in a while granted. But lets face it perhaps its all in the timing of expressing certain wants and desires. Thats why as a rule couples don't get busy on top of the family table at Xmas. Not that the desire may not be there but its not the best place nor time to act in such a manner. Even more so when your trying to impress the family or in this case scenario other on line daters maybe. Thats just my take on it if your open to anything great good on you. Wait and see what comes along and take it from there. After all in todays world easy sex isn't that hard to find with out having to advertise that your open to it is it really? Or if you honestly just want a romp in the sack then there are other appropriate sites just for seeking sex partners. But some one who would mix the search for a nice girl to have a LTR with in with I'll also take some easy @ss if it happens my way just doesn't appeal to me personally.
Phateless Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Perhaps it was the wording I found to be a bit of a turn off. But then again to me I'm open to anything wouldn't quite sit well either. There is a time and a place for certain things. Its human nature we all want sex once in a while granted. But lets face it perhaps its all in the timing of expressing certain wants and desires. Thats why as a rule couples don't get busy on top of the family table at Xmas. Not that the desire may not be there but its not the best place nor time to act in such a manner. Even more so when your trying to impress the family or in this case scenario other on line daters maybe. Thats just my take on it if your open to anything great good on you. Wait and see what comes along and take it from there. After all in todays world easy sex isn't that hard to find with out having to advertise that your open to it is it really? Or if you honestly just want a romp in the sack then there are other appropriate sites just for seeking sex partners. But some one who would mix the search for a nice girl to have a LTR with in with I'll also take some easy @ss if it happens my way just doesn't appeal to me personally. I understand all of that. How would YOU phrase it?
Trimmer Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 But some one who would mix the search for a nice girl to have a LTR with in with I'll also take some easy @ss if it happens my way just doesn't appeal to me personally. Yeah, that's how it hit me, too... I understand all of that. How would YOU phrase it? A good question. I suggested earlier something along the lines of: "looking for a LTR some day, but I'm open to no-heavy-expectations dating for fun and companionship too," but I wonder if the word "fun" in personals is read as a code word for sex, which may be part of what gave Spanks the bad impression upon reading that ad. How about "...dating for enjoyable companionship, too..." Whaddaya think, Spanks? Suggestions?
Phateless Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Personally, I think euphemisms are stupid. Say what you mean already... like nobody call tell the difference? Please...
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 I understand all of that. How would YOU phrase it? I think you missed my hold point with that last post. I wouldn't phrase it anyway because I wouldn't say something like that if I was indeed looking for a LTR with a decent girl.
Ariadne Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 that just seams a bit tacky to me.. I don't know, but your signature: Ding Ding that sound would def be the inopropreate bell ringing!! lol I think should be spelled, inappropriate.
EhiPassiko Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 I wouldn't recommend internet dating. Meeting people during your daily life is the hardest but still the best way of meeting potential romantic partners Actually, I know MANY people who have met online and have been together for years- marriage, kids, etc... Its really about how you utilize the facts before you Statistically speaking, its just as likely to last as any real life dating situation... basically, don't knock it til you try it... or at least don't knock those of that do find it easier in this day and age... Namaste, Jess
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 I don't know, but your signature: Ding Ding that sound would def be the inopropreate bell ringing!! lol I think should be spelled, inappropriate. Wow your right I need more sleep and more spell check for sure!
Phateless Posted January 23, 2008 Posted January 23, 2008 I think you missed my hold point with that last post. I wouldn't phrase it anyway because I wouldn't say something like that if I was indeed looking for a LTR with a decent girl. You don't think it's possible for someone to be ok with both? That's kind of my situation. Ultimately I want to find someone I really like but I'm open to casual dating for fun in the meantime. Besides, you're avoiding the question. I want to know how a guy could phrase it so that you wouldn't be offended.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 23, 2008 Author Posted January 23, 2008 You don't think it's possible for someone to be ok with both? That's kind of my situation. Ultimately I want to find someone I really like but I'm open to casual dating for fun in the meantime. Besides, you're avoiding the question. I want to know how a guy could phrase it so that you wouldn't be offended. I'm not avoiding any question I did answer it. I'm not as much offended but more so turned off by some one who would put that in a on line add. If its what your looking for and your ok with it then good on you. But that doesn't mean that others have to agree its just my personal view on what I find attractive and not. There is no way that I would find that attractive no matter how it was worded thats just me. Again if it works for you great I'm not putting any one down here honestly to each his own.
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