Ashtray Heart Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 My younger sister invited her high school boyfriend - along with all her other high school friends - to her recent Christmas wedding. When I asked if that was smart, she said it was really no big deal. They had both moved on a long time ago and remained friendly. She was right, it turned out. On the day of the ceremony, if you hadn't known they used to be a couple, you never would have guessed. I'd been at college when they were dating - so I had only seen him a few times. When a bunch of us were sitting around drinking at the reception, I told him he was better looking than I remembered. He joked that his skin had cleared up a lot since then. He was very easy-going. I could see what she had liked about him. A week or two goes by and he calls me to ask me out to dinner! He's a few years younger than me but it's still the best offer I've had in a while. When I say I'm not sure how my sister would feel about it, he suggests that - as a newly-married woman - she ought to be happily indifferent. But he readily agrees to give me however much time I need to think it over. At this point, I feel I have the right to at least ask her. If she's not comfortable with it, fine. End of discussion. But not only has it been 8 years since they split up, she's officially chosen someone else as the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. If she's offended that I could even ask, I think that will say more about her than it does about me.
melodymatters Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I don't see why you shouldn't just go ahead and tell her that you enjoyed each others company at the wedding,that she has good taste, that he asked you to dinner and would she mind ? Hopefully she won't, it sounds like a great " met cute" story !
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I would discuss it with your sister before you get involved in any way. Why risk any kind of discomfort in the future, particularly for family events? No "cute" guy is worth the dissension. Sometimes it's too close for comfort.
SeraBella Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I agree with melodymatters. Plus, it was a high school relationship. How serious was it? My relationships in high school, even the ones we called serious, were far from it. And, while I'd have issues with some people dating my more recent exes, I'd have no problem with anyone from my high school times.
melodymatters Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I agree with melodymatters. Plus, it was a high school relationship. How serious was it? My relationships in high school, even the ones we called serious, were far from it. And, while I'd have issues with some people dating my more recent exes, I'd have no problem with anyone from my high school times. Thanks ! But the only reason I would have a problem with my sis or friends dating any of my ex's is that I would feel too sorry for them !! " No, run, run FAST !":lmao: BTW OP, I love your screen name ! Come back and update us !
norajane Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I don't see why you shouldn't just go ahead and tell her that you enjoyed each others company at the wedding,that she has good taste, that he asked you to dinner and would she mind ? Hopefully she won't, it sounds like a great " met cute" story ! I agree - just ask her. She'll probably say no problem, and then you can relax and enjoy. I wonder if it might bother you, though...you know, the ick factor of having sex with him if he used to have sex with your sister...? Or if the ick factor might bother him at some point?
Citizen Erased Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I agree - just ask her. She'll probably say no problem, and then you can relax and enjoy. I wonder if it might bother you, though...you know, the ick factor of having sex with him if he used to have sex with your sister...? Or if the ick factor might bother him at some point? Oh yuck Like everyone else has said, just ask her. You haven't said if they were "serious" or not, which equates to having been together for longer then 2 weeks I know that if my sister wanted to date my last ex, I would just not be right with it. It may have only been High School, but we were together for 2 years and it would just be too uncomfortable. So OP, Just ask her. If she can invite him to her wedding and he was happy enough to accept that invitation, I think it bodes well for you
Florida Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Is a sibling's ex off-limits forever? YES!!!!!! Oh my God the very thought of going out with one of my sisters exes is ....just NO. That you stated it in a way that you would be upset at her if she says no is setting up a bad situation. Sistahs before mistahs.
Lucasarts Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 i'd say yes. . . but your sis is married why would she care anymore about her ex? they're good friends, and she should be happy that hes with her older sister (lucky man, tasting the fruits of sibling love), and you'll be happy cause you really like this guy (and hes genuine considering his relationship to your family). If this creates tension between you two...then there has to be more than just man jealousy going on. But I'm sure you girls have a strong bond and are tight with each other so i don't think that this would be a problem. Best to ask her first though, just so you know what she thinks.
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