KittenMoon Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 In a town where neither of us lives, fairly early on a Sunday, in a total random shopping plaza, at the exact moment I stop at a stop sign in front of any old store- HE crosses right in front of me. With his lying manipulative witch of a bff, who I have nothing good to say about. (the world would be a better place if I had run with beotch over) But seriously- these tiny moments of total randomness PISS me off. I can't wait to move out of town so I finally don't have to worry about accidentally seeing him. That being said, now I'm sad. Because there is still this feeling of utter adoration that kicks up when I see him.
Author KittenMoon Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Oh, and of course I get an email from him now saying "hey thought I saw you, sorry I didn't wave I wasn't sure, just wanted to say 'hi'". Whatever. 1) He always knows its me. 2) He's used that line "sorry I didn't wave I wasn't sure" about five times now. It's so lame when he tries to act like he doesn't know it's me, when he knows perfectly well its me.
LakesideDream Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Kitten, You are allowing this guy to dominate your life. Stop it. He's missing out on you, remember that.
JustinWolf Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Be positive, in life there's plenty of people you will meet that are better than him. You will fall in love again, you will learn to appreciate life all over again. But first, you have to let go. It's not as easy as it sounds, I know, we all know. You just have to be positive and stay strong, have fun. I wish you the best of luck.
Ariadne Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 there's plenty of people you will meet that are better than him. You will fall in love again, you will learn to appreciate life all over again. I just hate it when people say this. Whenever I hear someone tell me this, the only thing I feel is this urge to punch them in the face. Btw, Kitten, I think he is dating her or something. Last time you saw him he was together with her and she drove his car, and now again? Yeah...
JustinWolf Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I just hate it when people say this. Whenever I hear someone tell me this, the only thing I feel is this urge to punch them in the face. Btw, Kitten, I think he is dating her or something. Last time you saw him he was together with her and she drove his car, and now again? Yeah... ... I guess I deserve to be punched for that? Just cause I believe that being sorrowful for that is wrong and there's a lot more to life than just someone who's now gone. It's so much better to just move on and forget, it's hard, yes, i admit it but not impossible. Maybe instead of saying that you'd like to punch me for what I said, you could actually tell me... why?
fabulousgal Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 KM, I feel you. This week I had 2 VERY VERY weird things happened that were just b* a* luck bc they were complete reminders of he....very strange things that made me go ohhhhh wow. Funny how big the world is, yet this randomness happens. Makes it really hard to move on 100%.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 One way to reduce the impact of randomness is to deliberately get more exposure. Go to old haunts with friends, so after awhile, it makes each place and exposure to the ex, less meaningful.
Ariadne Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Maybe instead of saying that you'd like to punch me for what I said, you could actually tell me... why? It's just very very annoying. I cannot explain the feeling, but punching someone would be like it. Is like you are about to take the first sip of a chocolate ice cream and I stop your arm and tell you, you should be eating a salad, annoying.
JustinWolf Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Is like you are about to take the first sip of a chocolate ice cream and I stop your arm and tell you, you should be eating a salad, annoying. She never said she wants the guy but has feelings, I'm just saying she should just forget and move on and in the end, she will find someone who will make her happy and feel good. It's like a wish but I'm sure it will happen. I don't want her thinking of that guy while he's hanging out with a "witch of a BFF".
Author KittenMoon Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Y'know, I've been just fine for a while now. Checking out other guys and everything. I just hate seeing him when I've done nothing but try to cut everything about him out of my life. He does the exact opposite, and lord knows that story is all over LS, and it's all fine and peachy for him. His email is just more of his usual half @$$ed rhetoric, so yeah, it pisses me off. There was no reason for him to send it. I just don't care to have the kind of emotional reaction I have anymore. It's too tiring. I cut him out of my life as much as I can- it just never seems to be enough.
Author KittenMoon Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 One way to reduce the impact of randomness is to deliberately get more exposure. Go to old haunts with friends, so after awhile, it makes each place and exposure to the ex, less meaningful. Done and done. The old haunts are mostly desensitized. The old friends less so, but he ditched them too so it's a bit easier. I'm ready to leave this city though, because the memories of us will always be invariably attached. And these random run-ins are always a treat too. What I mean is I can't do much more to remove the feelings here, I really want out.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Done and done. The old haunts are mostly desensitized. The old friends less so, but he ditched them too so it's a bit easier. I'm ready to leave this city though, because the memories of us will always be invariably attached. And these random run-ins are always a treat too. What I mean is I can't do much more to remove the feelings here, I really want out. Good for you. One step at a time. Nip all those feelings in the bud. They come to mind, push them away and shut them down. It does work, as long as you bring them out and process through them a little at a time, when you feel strong enough. This may shock you but I do believe it's okay to still care about someone in your past, as long as it's only fond memories and not strong emotions. Shut them down Kittenmoon. You can do it!
Author KittenMoon Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 This may shock you but I do believe it's okay to still care about someone in your past, as long as it's only fond memories and not strong emotions. I don't think the problem is that I care anymore, I mean I do, but that's not the problem. The problem is I still feel very angry at him. His keeping up on my life, the way he's spoken too me since we broke up, he tattoo w/ "me" in it, etc etc. It's so much to be angry at, and it's really hard to move past it all. It's always made me feel like I'm some sort of emotional touchstone to him, which makes me feel ill used. ANyhow, I'm trying. I dreamed about him last night, which is a rarity these days. It's scary how often a "close encounter" happens after a significant episode of dreaming about him.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I don't think the problem is that I care anymore, I mean I do, but that's not the problem. The problem is I still feel very angry at him. His keeping up on my life, the way he's spoken too me since we broke up, he tattoo w/ "me" in it, etc etc. It's so much to be angry at, and it's really hard to move past it all. It's always made me feel like I'm some sort of emotional touchstone to him, which makes me feel ill used. ANyhow, I'm trying. I dreamed about him last night, which is a rarity these days. It's scary how often a "close encounter" happens after a significant episode of dreaming about him. Something I learned in therapy which was marvelous, for my anger issues after the ex cheated on me. You can take all that anger and resentment and just...let it go. You can also look at it from another perspective, in that the only person your anger is hurting, is you. Why let someone affect you, who isn't worth your time? In essence, you continue to let him control you. It's now gotten to the point where I can flip that switch, anytime I'm angry or resentful. I just stop feeling angry, shrug and let things go. It's so meaningless.
Author KittenMoon Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 It's now gotten to the point where I can flip that switch, anytime I'm angry or resentful. I just stop feeling angry, shrug and let things go. It's so meaningless. Yeah, I can do this for just about anything else. No biggie. This however, well, it's harder. Though it's not hard to remember I'm so much better than what's out there- every day the loonies in life remind me of that.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Yeah, I can do this for just about anything else. No biggie. This however, well, it's harder. Though it's not hard to remember I'm so much better than what's out there- every day the loonies in life remind me of that. I know you can do it with this too. I have confidence in you, that you can slowly but surely shut it down.
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