Ariadne Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 ~ Never look back.... If she ever seeks you out again, smile and be very cordial to her, but always from then on keep her at arms length. ~ She is friend now and never anything more. ~ Never date a woman twice and let the woman know this in the beginning. ~ She must realize that she will only ever get one chance with you. If she messes it up, it will never be again. It is over... ~ If she comes crying back which they will do from time to time, be nice but make sure she understands that the two of you will never be back together again. --------------- Sigh.... Such good advice... I wish all men would follow this advice. If a woman didn't want you at first, she is not going to want you later either. It's crap.
Freddy Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Hey thanks, I won't flaunt it. I got another question though. If you sleep with someone else and you don't feel guilty about, can you still be in love with the ex. I would thought I feel really guilty but I don't.
Author PLAYBRAT Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 Haha..Well....guys are SUPPOSED to be able to seperate love from sex. I guess that's a generalisation though, isnt it? I definetely think you can not feel guilty and still love an ex. IMO.
Green Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Personaly i think women are horible at giving advice to men on how to get, keep/win back a woman.
Author PLAYBRAT Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 LOL...we are all entitled to our opinions..
Green Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 LOL...we are all entitled to our opinions.. My opinion is a fact women in general think they know but have no idea the things it takes to get and keep a woman as a man
CalamitousJane Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 As long as you're at it KMT, why don't you tell us chicks how to get a man back. We're all ears...
Author PLAYBRAT Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 Well this isn't a debate over how much better a woman is than a man at advice. This thread is meant for fun advice.I never claimed to be an expert at giving advice,. Just my own personal experiences. So again, we are all entitled to our opinions...
Ariadne Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Personaly i think women are horible at giving advice to men on how to get, keep/win back a woman. Whenever I dumped a guy.. I never, ever, wanted to get back together with him. When I'm over it's over. No matter what the guy could possibly do to win me over, he could build the Taj Mahal for all that matters, I'd still not want him back. So the advice is useless. Maybe because the reasons why I'd dump a guy would be because I think he's either: stupid, a loser, a pest, idiotic, boring, dumb, inept, a wimp, insecure, a baby, etc etc. I'd never dump a guy I love because he did me wrong, got me angry, or any of that stuff. I'm very tolerant with that, but not with the first.
heartoutside Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 My ex and I broke up 7 months ago, she left me saying she needed space. We've been together for over 3 years and lived together for 2 plus and were talking about getting married. For the first 4 months of the break up, we would meet up to talk about US. The last time we did it, I basically got the impression that she had moved on, and she kind of confirmed it by dating another guy. So I went totally NC, and basically erased her from my life. When I saw her at parties or out I didn't even acknowledge her presence. This whole time I was getting very random text messages from her, asking about "things" or saying hi. Then about about a week before Thanksgiving I went to a party and totally ignored her. Didn't say a word. As soon as I left, she sent me a text saying we needed to talk. I waited a few days and I finally called her as I was about to leave town for thanksgiving. She called back, and left a VM. I feared calling her back, because I didn't know what she was going to say. So I stayed in NC....then about a week after I got back from my trip she sends me an email. Basically telling me that she has been crying, that she thinks about me all the time, that every song that comes on the radio, or her roommates ipod or on TV reminds her of me. That she hopes that someday we can be what we wanted us to be. That basically I was just about the perfect BF but thought that this was IT, that this WOULD BE IT, US.....and freaked out....I called her about a day later. We had dinner and talked. I basically told her that I never stopped thinking about her but she's involved right now so there's nothing I can do. About a week later she broke up with this new guy (about a week or so before xmas) and she wanted "US" to start dating again. We did....but things went too fast....way to fast, and I regret that. But when we are together, we are so attracted to each other it's impossible not to kiss.....and etc etc....So we had a great 2 weeks together. Didn't spend every day together but the days we did spend we're great! At one point she sent me a text while I was at work saying that she was happy that we were working things out, she was happy that we were together, and that she was happy to be with me. Over this period of 2 weeks she told me that she regretted ever leaving, that we had a perfect relationship and what was wrong could have been fixed. Then new years came around. We went out and she ended up getting sick (not from drinking or anything, but from something she ate). So we ended up going back to her place before the new year even rang in. I started thinking that faked it because she didn't want to be with me.....(this is a good example of why things went to fast with us, I still wasn't confident in the relationship). So the next day, I kind of acted distant and she noticed......about 4 days later she told me that she can be in a relationship right now, that her life is just to unorganized and to crazy. That she needs to be single right now and figure herself out. I backed off and gave her some space. She then sent me a text a few days later to see if was going to our friends party and if i wanted to go with her. We went and I took her home. When I dropped her off I wasn't expecting anything, just a goodnight. But she leaned in for either a kiss on the cheek or a kiss. I gave her a little kiss on the lips and said, sorry, I hope that was ok. And she said maybe and then left. We hung out again the next night and this time we had another talk on the ride home. This time she gave me totally different reasons. That she thought I was too good for her, that I deserve someone better someone who makes me happy. She was crying and couldn't take talking anymore, so she had to leave. But said we can talk again.....If she only knew how happy she made me....... We haven't talked since. That was last week...I saw her today at work and I talked to her jokingly and told her that I liked her new hair cut even though everyone else was making fun of it. (I love the girl fat, thin, or bald I then asked her if we could still talk? She said sure....... That was this morning. So I'm not sure what I should do....back off, go NC....let her contact me. She knows we still need to talk.....and she knows what her life is like without me....she told me that she was just totally depressed and crying all the time when I erased her from my life. I don't know if I should do that again....any suggestions playbrat? or any other ladies....? I've been a stand up guy through this whole thing....nothing crazy.....
JustinWolf Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Honnestly, I think it's some good advice because.. well if you keep running back always being there for them, they never get the chance to actually miss us, when they truly do, that's when they come back running for us. Anyways, what's your suggestion KMT?
Freddy Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 That doesn't give much hope to the guys out there.
Ariadne Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 My ex and I broke up 7 months ago.... Wth?!???...
Green Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 KMT: Ok what would you suggest then? I'd suggest getting advice from a friend whose a guy who seems to have his sht togather, some one in your life who knows the situation. Look some relationships just end and there is no comming back. PLAYBRATs advice wasnt all bad but she had some stuff in there like don't sleep with alot of women which really showed her inability to see it from the mans POV As long as you're at it KMT, why don't you tell us chicks how to get a man back. We're all ears... I'll tell you how to up your chances in keeping man, Have sex, Enjoy sex, stay in the same shape or better then when you met. Don't get pregnant unless it was planned, Don't be anoying (obviously this one is really subjective and if a guy really likes you, well it might be imposible then) Well this isn't a debate over how much better a woman is than a man at advice. This thread is meant for fun advice.I never claimed to be an expert at giving advice,. Just my own personal experiences. So again, we are all entitled to our opinions... I realize that, but your post started off talking about the Men always asking for a woman POV on break ups and what ever... And when ever I see those threads I tell the men asking for a womans POV on getting women is pointless because they never had to aproach gain and keep the affection of a woman while being a man.
Author PLAYBRAT Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 Yes but I am a WOMAN, so yes, I DO have SOME insights to what makes a woman tick. Just like I wouldn't ask a man how a woman thinks. As for you suggestion to sleep with a lot of women...well good luck with that. it would never impress me. I'm not a prude by any means, but I know it would never score any points of integrity with ME. But what do I know? I'm a woman...
heartoutside Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I know my posting got a little long, but I could use some advice from a ladies perspective......
Green Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 Yes but I am a WOMAN, so yes, I DO have SOME insights to what makes a woman tick. Just like I wouldn't ask a man how a woman thinks. As for you suggestion to sleep with a lot of women...well good luck with that. it would never impress me. I'm not a prude by any means, but I know it would never score any points of integrity with ME. But what do I know? I'm a woman... hahha I never said sleep with lots of women I just thought it was funny you would even think to tell a guy who just broke up not to.
CalamitousJane Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 That doesn't give much hope to the guys out there. Guess it depends on the girl. Maybe because the reasons why I'd dump a guy would be because I think he's either: stupid, a loser, a pest, idiotic, boring, dumb, inept, a wimp, insecure, a baby, etc etc. I would never think those things about an ex cuz a guy like that never woulda been my bf in the first place.
Author PLAYBRAT Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 Ahhhh...now I would never say something as cruel as celibacy!!!!! I said don;t be a 'manwhore".
CalamitousJane Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I know my posting got a little long, but I could use some advice from a ladies perspective...... Hey Heart, sounds like you're doing great. I'd say let her cool down for a couple days, then make friendly contact and take it REALLY slow.
Ariadne Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I would never think those things about an ex cuz a guy like that never woulda been my bf in the first place. That's a good point. I was never "into" my boyfriends, but I thought I'd give them a chance, since I have absolutely no luck whatsoever with the guys that I am into. But, it never worked out, and my impressions only got worse to the point that they became intolerable. Yeah... I wish it'd be easier for me to fall in love with a guy though, I'm tough.
Green Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I'll give you your 1,2,3,4 post break up were pretty good but you really didnt attack the state of mind a man needs to get to
heartoutside Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I kind of agree with that....the state of mind. That is very key and important for both parties. I think after a break up, the key part is that time apart and how to reset that mind set. I don't think sleeping with a ton of ladies is a way to do it....maybe dating a few could help clear the mind of your ex and the thoughts. But sleeping with other(s) would probably just f me up even more!
Author PLAYBRAT Posted January 21, 2008 Author Posted January 21, 2008 I'll give you your 1,2,3,4 post break up were pretty good but you really didnt attack the state of mind a man needs to get to MAN KMT.....you are picking my brain apart here...but I'll get back to you on it. I promise....
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