spookie Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Mr. AS and I hug out again last night. This time, we went out to eat and then snuck into a dormitory to play ping pong. It was really fun! The conversation flowed really easily this time and I REALLY enjoyed his company. I think it was easier for me to relax because at the start of the meal, I let it slip that I used to work at a strip club, including as a stripper for three days. I know revealing this piece of info was "optional", but after reading so many threads on here about guys that discover something about their gfs' pasts only to be "disappointed" that she wasn't the person they thought she was... I decided I'd rather he know, because I was feeling manipulative in withholding the info. He wasn't phased at all! A little surprised, maybe; but after he asked me a couple of general questions about the experienced, we moved on to other topics. After a couple of hours of ping pong, we went back to his place to play chess, mess around on google maps, and watch videos online. At 4 AM, when it seemed like we were both getting tired, I asked him if he wanted to cuddle. His response: "I don't know what that is." I explained that it's when people hug each other lying down; and asked if he'd he thought he'd be comfortable doing that. He said he wasn't sure because he'd never done it before. So, I took his hand and led him to the bed. We lay down. I hugged him. At first, he was stiff as a log, but after a couple of minutes, he began to imitate what I was doing. An hour into it, he told me he really liked it. Sometime later, he ever branched out from imitation to letting his feet play with mine. At the very start, I had attmpted to kiss him; but he wasn't ready; it was awkward. I think I'm going to have to incorporate horniness into the relationship slowly. He did tell me, though, after we kissed, that his heart rate had sped up, so I don't think he's asexual. Even though he wasn't sure whether he'd be able to sleep with someone, he lent me some pj's (I loved how huge they were for me... I've never dated a really tall guy) and said he wanted to try. It was no problem at all. We spooned all night. In the morning, we woke up at the same time, and he got up to make some breakfast. I fell asleep again while he was cooking it. When I awoke two hours later, I found him sitting on the floor near the bed, using the internet on his phone because he didn't want to wake me by typing. He microwaved our plastic-wrapped, refrigerated breakfast and made some coffee. We ate it in bed. When I got home, there was already an email form him in my inbox. It said, "I had a really amazing (and educational) time. Let me know when you would like to hang out again."
EYECANDY000 Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Wow!!!! sounds like a great outing and inning! Im not familiar with the othe post on this guy. Is this a new beau or someone you want to be with?
Art_Critic Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Sounds like spooky is onto something.. kick a$$... I like how you both are taking your time with sex...
sb129 Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Spookie, I have a few misgivings about this one, but I think things seem to be going well at this stage. Good luck.. A few questions: Do you think that you are drawn to this guy because his potential to hurt you is less than some of the other guys? DO you think the novelty of his AS will wear off, and you might find it frustrating if you were to have a long term R? Not trying to p** on your parade. just wondering.
Author spookie Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Those are questions I've thought about myself... Do you think that you are drawn to this guy because his potential to hurt you is less than some of the other guys? To be honest, yes, this is part of it. I have some abandonment issues. But there are other reasons I like him. He's really intelligent, and, more importantly, expresses his intelligence in a way I can relate to and find stimulating. I enjoy spending time with him because he's open to doing the kinds of things I like, that I can never find other people to do with me (like plaing ping pong.) I feel I can be my(sober)self around him and still enjoy myself, something that's important to me in a long-term relationship but hard to accomplish with even a lot of my friends. I feel like he has the capacity to inspire me to be a better person (for example, today, instead of obsessing about whether he likes like I would have after a date with somebody typically aloof, I spent my time reading a book that he lent me ). And he's considerate. And cute. So, yes, I'm drawn to him for that. But it's certainly not the only reaosn I'm drawn to him. Even with that quality removed, I would probably still be pursuing it. DO you think the novelty of his AS will wear off, and you might find it frustrating if you were to have a long term R? I don't know. It's possible. On the one hand, I view a lot of his AS qualities as important assets that are not easy to find in someone. On the other, of course there are going to be adjustments I will have to make. For example, I don't think "being swept off my feet" is going to be a realistic expectation to have at any point. Right now, that seems ok to me; but, I don't know; it could turn out to be frustrating later on. But the same can be said of anyone, about almost any chracteristic. I think compatibility in that regard is something that can only be revealed in time. I'm going to take it really slowly, remember to be myself, and make sure I treat him fairly. I think that's all I can do.
sb129 Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Thanks. Glad you have considered these, you seem to be going into this with your eyes wide open and your feet firmly on the ground, which is great. Good for you.
Ariadne Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Hey, I think I'm going to have to incorporate horniness into the relationship slowly. He did tell me, though, after we kissed, that his heart rate had sped up, so I don't think he's asexual. Hehe.. This is going great spookie. I think you can relate really well with this guy, you need someone intelligent. Maybe he'll inspire you with your school and all. Good luck.
Krytie TV Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Am I the only one that had a wave of creepy discomfort fall over me when reading this? I can't quite put my finger on it... almost a (and I use the term loosely spookie) pedophilic feeling. *shudders*
Author spookie Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Am I the only one that had a wave of creepy discomfort fall over me when reading this? I can't quite put my finger on it... almost a (and I use the term loosely spookie) pedophilic feeling. *shudders* LOL. I read what I wrote and I agree with you that the description is somewhat creepy. I think it's because, though he's 24, last night was his first time doing things most people do at age 12. But, there's nothing wrong with what happened. He's an adult, mentally stable, and I like him. Someone's gotta be his first.
Jilly Bean Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Am I the only one that had a wave of creepy discomfort fall over me when reading this? I can't quite put my finger on it... almost a (and I use the term loosely spookie) pedophilic feeling. *shudders* No, I agree. It's like trying to date someone with Downs Syndrome. They may be the greatest person on the planet, but there is something that just feels very taboo about it. Spookie - good luck, hon. I hope he continues to make you happy.
Ariadne Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Hey, I don't think "being swept off my feet" is going to be a realistic expectation to have at any point. Right now, that seems ok to me; but, I don't know; it could turn out to be frustrating later on. That's a valid concern. Maybe the guy never warms up to the whole idea and stays happy playing ping pong or whatever. Or, maybe he'll like it too much. You are handling it well though. (Sounds like fun )
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