s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 The title of this thread says it all.. I woke up this morning feeling extremely happy that I made it this far(I have never been able to do Nc more than three days until now). About an hour ago, I texted him saying hi and asking if he wanted to see eachother sometime in the coming week... I know, I know..I shouldnt have. =[ But the damage is done and I cant take it back now. F***. What do I do now...Now its come to the point where I cant stop tearing up..Even at the very moment I just want to talk to him and the thought of him is haunting me... "Somebody wake me from this nightmare..."- Three days grace-Animal I have become. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 You're only hurting yourself here. I want to contact my ex every second of every day, but I have my pride. He knows where I am if he wants to talk to me. He knows I love him. I don't have to say any more. Same with your ex. It sucks, it's hard, but you're just undermining yourself when you contact him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Thats true. And I know.. I just cant control myself sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
trulysomething Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 I know how hard this must be for you. I've never been 4 days without contact with my ex. But I told him I would contact him when I was ready to be his friend. I might have made a mistake, but I need to get over him and move on with my life. I also said that if he changed his mind, he knew how to contact me. Did he reply? Each day we get a little bit stronger in our resolve. Think about all the things that weren't working in your relationship and how there is someone out there that can give you all you are looking for...and then some. Link to post Share on other sites
shockandawed Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 snd, You know what you did was wrong, so there is no point in telling you that. NC is brutally tough at first. The pain of the heartache is still there and you want it to go away. You eventually think if you just get a quick hello, it might give you some relief. The bad thing is it always knocks you back to square one. I am sure right now you have opened up a new and intense wave of emotions, why hasn't he responded? should I try again? etc.. and if he does respond, then you will have even more emotions, why did he respond? does he want me back? etc.. I think you get the picture. All you can do is start over. Remember how crappy this is making you feel..once you get to ten days or so again and get tempted to break NC, you will remember this, eventually it will work. A friend asked me how many times I wanted to slam my hand in the door before I learned to avoid that door. You will eventually get tired of the pain that breaking the NC does and you will start to feel the empowerment of what maintaining it does. It just takes time. Hang in there and anytime you want to break NC, post on here. I know very well what you are going through. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Thanks trulysomething and shockandawed, I do know what I did was wrong and Im trying hard to get back on the NC bandwagon. This has definitely messed with my emotions for sure and Im definitely going to be messed up today, but tomorrow is a new day and hopefully not as hard as today has turned out to be. Maybe this happened for a reason..Me breaking the NC. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Wow you broke NC after 10 days? Did he text you back? You know my opinion is he left you and should be contacting you if he wants you back....no he should be contacting you to see if you will take him back. It has been enough time that he should be asking your forgiveness not you texting him. Chin up and resolve not to text anymore. Back away from the phone and no one will get hurt.... I want to text, beg, call and email everyday but my pride is finally bucking up. I will gnaw my fingers off before I make a move to contact him. It has been 3 and a half months and I miss him like crazy but his silence is saying he is over me so I am not ging to gravel anymore and neither should you. Do not contact him if you possibly can. Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 s_n_d, you are still hurting and vulnerable and this makes you more impressionable by the opinions of others than you normally would be. Please remember these are only opinions no matter how militantly promoted. No matter how many horror stories or success stories you read, these are just other people's opinions. Not one of the people here lives your life. No one else here lives with the consequences of your actions the way you do. Who here has the right to say you did something wrong because you sent a text message? It's a text message folks, not attempted murder. If the gentleman had responded and said he missed her and wanted her back everyone would be singing a different tune. Hey, you made this decision for yourself. It's done. Why beat yourself up or let anyone else for that matter? Take comfort and pride in knowing that at the time, you did what you wanted. A little time has passed and now you can do something else you want to do. You know, there are a lot of people who are staunch NC promoters and have been pining away for months, some for years. Obviously, something in their concept of what NC is all about isn't working for them. Why would you want to let their comments shape your self worth just because you broke NC? Not everyone has the same concepts of pride and self-respect. You do what is right for you and not what someone else says you should do and you'll be OK. I think a lot of people confuse the pride the feel from exerting their will power by sticking to NC as being a good feeling because they are apart from their exes. It was just a text. It's OK. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 s_n_d, you are still hurting and vulnerable and this makes you more impressionable by the opinions of others than you normally would be. Please remember these are only opinions no matter how militantly promoted. No matter how many horror stories or success stories you read, these are just other people's opinions. Not one of the people here lives your life. No one else here lives with the consequences of your actions the way you do. Who here has the right to say you did something wrong because you sent a text message? It's a text message folks, not attempted murder. If the gentleman had responded and said he missed her and wanted her back everyone would be singing a different tune. Hey, you made this decision for yourself. It's done. Why beat yourself up or let anyone else for that matter? Take comfort and pride in knowing that at the time, you did what you wanted. A little time has passed and now you can do something else you want to do. You know, there are a lot of people who are staunch NC promoters and have been pining away for months, some for years. Obviously, something in their concept of what NC is all about isn't working for them. Why would you want to let their comments shape your self worth just because you broke NC? Not everyone has the same concepts of pride and self-respect. You do what is right for you and not what someone else says you should do and you'll be OK. I think a lot of people confuse the pride the feel from exerting their will power by sticking to NC as being a good feeling because they are apart from their exes. It was just a text. It's OK. Carrot Carrot, Thanks. I think everyone who comes on LS should read your post. Some people who come on here look for a "fix" to their problems and they think people on here will give them a "fix". But at the end of the day, it all comes down to you..What YOU want to do. I understand that completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Wow you broke NC after 10 days? Did he text you back? You know my opinion is he left you and should be contacting you if he wants you back....no he should be contacting you to see if you will take him back. It has been enough time that he should be asking your forgiveness not you texting him. Chin up and resolve not to text anymore. Back away from the phone and no one will get hurt.... I want to text, beg, call and email everyday but my pride is finally bucking up. I will gnaw my fingers off before I make a move to contact him. It has been 3 and a half months and I miss him like crazy but his silence is saying he is over me so I am not ging to gravel anymore and neither should you. Do not contact him if you possibly can. He has not texted me back yet. But I know thats because hes at work at the moment. But im not expecting a reply from him. I expect nothing from him. I HATE my cell phone!!!!!!!!!! Damn temptation! Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 I agree with carrott in that it sure wasn't 'wrong' to contact him. One of the best descriptions for NC is a lot like getting off of hard drugs. You're addicted to that person and relationship. You want another fix so bad, even if it hurts you to do it. So you have to go cold turkey to get off the love drug. Takes about 30 days to really beat the habit, and that's a hard 30 days. Then the healing really starts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Good analogy, sumdude. Thanks. I know. It sometimes does feel like a drug addiction. But if I could do ten days, I can definitely do twenty days. And that twenty days will turn to thirty days..and so on.. I have to do this....for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 A strong decision. Go for it! Here's to your next 10 days! Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 I will definitely try. Link to post Share on other sites
lovesparis Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 i see carrots cheers to the next 10 days nc, and raise her one to make it 11. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky555 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Dont feel bad i too just did break my no contact and its been 11 days or so. I feel like crap again, i am going to shower and go distract myself i feel stupid. The thing is if i ask him why he does not respond he will say "i was busy" I just need to be stronger and find happiness elsewhere. When i see couples together i get so sad because i wish i could have that, the relationship aspect but I dont. it hard and i feel for you. I have deleted him from seeing me online i just have to make him stay deleted so i dont try to contact him. I feel like a fool. Well only fools fall in love and soon thats what we will find. Must stay away from ex's so that our heart will heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 i see carrots cheers to the next 10 days nc, and raise her one to make it 11. Hahaha like a Poker game.. I see your 11 days and raise you 12. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Dont feel bad i too just did break my no contact and its been 11 days or so. I feel like crap again, i am going to shower and go distract myself i feel stupid. The thing is if i ask him why he does not respond he will say "i was busy" I just need to be stronger and find happiness elsewhere. When i see couples together i get so sad because i wish i could have that, the relationship aspect but I dont. it hard and i feel for you. I have deleted him from seeing me online i just have to make him stay deleted so i dont try to contact him. I feel like a fool. Well only fools fall in love and soon thats what we will find. Must stay away from ex's so that our heart will heal. I agree. And im going to try.. Link to post Share on other sites
EhiPassiko Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Hey s_n_d, have you tried any sort of journal writing? When I went NC with my newly exed- ex the first time around, I blogged CONSTANTLY! Found it to be extremely cathartic and allowed me to put my emotions somewhere that had nothing to do with texts or emails to him. Maybe pick up a nice journal and hand write (I know... do people even do that anymore??) . See where it takes you. You are right though! Tomorrow is a new day. Try not to beat yourself up about it and just start over. You're getting stronger by the minute! Take a deep breath and find your center. You will get through this! Namaste! Jess Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Thanks. I will attempt a journal. Link to post Share on other sites
jdeedee Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Good morning snd, I hope today proves to be better for you than yester Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Thanks jdeedee. So far its going alright..He didnt reply my text message yet..Kind of dissappointing but whatever... I think Im going to start NC again after I talk to him.. Whenever I get to talk to him... Link to post Share on other sites
GlamourBabe Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Hi I have decided today I am going to start NC. I find that it makes you feel more in control of the situation if you wait for them to make contact with you first, then " ignore" it if you know what I mean. Announcing NC is the worst thing you can do it because if you dont stick to it. They just think your not serious. Also it could have the wrong effect as they are expecting you not to contact them. I am going NC with my EX because he just seems to have me in floods of tears increasinly after a conversation but then apologises after. Its like a never ending cycle and its hurting me. I might try the journal thing too. Glamour Babe Link to post Share on other sites
jdeedee Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Thanks jdeedee. So far its going alright..He didnt reply my text message yet..Kind of dissappointing but whatever... I think Im going to start NC again after I talk to him.. Whenever I get to talk to him... Any reason why you wouldn't start now? I just worry you will be waiting a long time for him to reply, anxious, and maybe message him numerous times before you start again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author s_n_d Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Jdeedee, Im just going to wait for a day or two. I just need some NON-NC time. When Im doing NC, it feels so restrictive. && Good luck, GlamourBabe. Let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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