lyndsay1314 Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 my ex and i have been apart for 10 weeks by my choice but i've lived with regret since, at the time of the break up i was under a lot of stress, going in for major surgery just not having an easy time and made an impulsive decision . anyway 3 weeks later he met a married women at the bar and she left her husband and kids to move in with him. we talk quite often still and i've told him she's a rebound and he never could of loved me to do something that drastic that quick, he says no he's in love and happy. yet he calls me , tells me he misses me , still loves me and is angry at me still for doing what i did. we've seen each other twice since the breakup and both times he's cried . the past couple weeks he hasn't wanted to see me saying she doesn't like it ,they fight, and emotionally it's hard to see me. i know this was wrong but that's why i'm asking for opinions, i love him want him back but i don't want to start anything with her, and i'm not sure how he feels about me , so i told him yesterday i had a date saturday night which i don't. well he got very sarcastic,wanted to know who it was, then just ended the phone call. i called back and he wouldn't answer, well this morning he called me at 7:30 just to talk, asked about tomorrow night was a little sarcastic then he tells me well i want to see you so we'll have to meet somewhere, when he's been blowing me off that way for a couple weeks. i don't know what to think , this is a trick on him just to see how he really feels but he's still sending mixed messages, if anyone has a thought as to what he's thinking or feeling i would appreciate any input, thanks.
norajane Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 (edited) You both need to step back from each other right now. He's living with someone else, therefore you need to back off until he resolves whatever he's doing with her. I think she's a rebound and, frankly, what married woman leaves her husband AND CHILDREN immediately after meeting a guy in a bar? That tells me very clearly their relationship is not destined for success - she still has a marriage that she needs to resolve, not to mention her responsibilities to HER CHILDREN! She's obviously messed up in her own way, and your ex is a temporary diversion. He needs time away from you so he can figure out what he's doing with her, and what he might want with you. As for you, I also think you need time away from him in order to clear your head so you know whether you want him back because your relationship is strong enough and important enough to work on together, or because you feel the break-up blues that everyone goes through after ending a relationship and that make you vulnerable. And you need to stop playing games and lying to him about dates to make him jealous - that's immature and very dishonest. If you are choosing dishonesty to try to get him back, that doesn't sound like a LOVING action. And if you don't feel loving toward him, why do you want him back? Anyway, you asked what he might be thinking or feeling. He's probably hurt that you broke up with him, chose to deal with it by jumping into a rebound, and is still acting out on his hurt, anger, and high emotion. That's another reason why I would tell you two to back off from each other and let the dust settle so you can both figure out what your HONEST emotions are. Edited January 19, 2008 by norajane
Ariadne Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Hi, He probably still cares for you, that's why he called the next morning to find out what happened with the date. He is not letting on much because he is being proud. It seems like that relationship with the married woman is a disaster. All you can do is wait and see what happens, keep talking to him and if you miss him etc, say so. Good luck.
sedgwick Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Oh my god, some woman he's known for less than two months and met in a bar left her marriage and kids and moved in with him already?!? Who moves in with their bf/gf in a matter of weeks after meeting? Add a husband and kids to that mix and it's even sketchier. I am 99% sure it's not going to last. How secure could he ever be that she wouldn't do the same thing to him? It boggles the mind.
vivrantflo Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 So you broke his heart, and now that he's trying to move on (rebounding or not) you're lying to him, to manipulate him back to you. You don't have a right to do that. YOU dumped him, YOU let him go. If you want him back, you can let him know this, but back off as well. Norajane pretty much hit it right on the head.
Recommended Posts