Eagle362 Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Hi I have been going out with a girl for around 4 months her and I get on very well. Recently I have seen some disturbing trends which I am beguining to get concerned about. In the past she would log onto email and and show me funny phone messages from her friends now she will not do either and is acting secritive all the time. It got to the point when she thought I wasn't around I "borrowed" her log on details off her notebook and got into her emails! (bad i know but im real worried here) inside her email I found two different emails one from a 30 year old man which when I checked the email in myspace seems legit. She has never told me about this guy before could he be a friend prehaps? There was another instance where she logged in infront of me and a swingers site came up registered to her email. I really care about this chick but I don't want to be cheated on but am paranoid beceause my last girlfriend cheated on me. Please give me some ideas! Am I being used or am I being paranoid?
Trecherized Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Eagle, get out. That's how it started for me. Locking the phone and laptop. Saying that her privacy is important when before it never was. You are not deep into it so do yourself a favor and confront her, make her choose if she admits, you really like her but I doubt that you love her. Trust me on this. My ex and I were together for almost 9 years, The trend started in the last year of our relationship and I rode the coaster. Let me tell you, that was a horrible crash!
Lee725 Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 The fact she has gone from open behavior to closed can indicate that something is wrong. with the swingers website, please remember that websites do on-sell email information so for example she may have signed up on a cooking website and they have on sold her details to a swingers one (not a great example, i know). Yes, she could have signed onto that site herself, but given unless you have a little faith here, communication with her & ultimately your relationship is going to go sour VERY quickly. All you can really do at this point is sit her down and have a face to face chat (so that you can monitor body language) and just ask her if there is a particular reason she has begun excluding you in this way, whether there is something bothering her & how she feels about her relationship with you. By borrowing log on details and reading things yourself you are destined to make some errors in judgment. (if someone was to read my journal they would be VERY upset, but what i wrote is exclusive to me & my thoughts, state of mind etc).
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 I think if you trust someone so little that you feel you have to disrespect their privacy behind their back, there's no hope for the relationship anyway. But yes, it does sound like she is exploring other relationship options.
Author Eagle362 Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 What do you think? Any ideas to why this would happen?
Author Eagle362 Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 Thanks, yeah you are right I feel like a right prick for invading her privacy Im just really worried I love this girl to pieces.
OrangeSnack Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Hmmm, interesting topic. So you and this girl have been going out for over four months. I personally think you should have a chat with her and understand where you currently stand in the relationship. Does she consider you her boyfriend or just a "good friend." On the side note, she is obviously hiding something. Don't invade her privacy too much because I think this can hurt your relationship, even if you are on the "friend" status. Try and communicate with her more and find out what is going on, don't physically go through her emails and etc, because even if you are in a relationship there are still norms and standards about privacy. I know you worship her a lot. But if she doesn't verbally explain her doings to you, then there might be some road blocks ahead of you, so just keep your head up and communicate with her.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 I don't like the sounds of that swinger website. Why not check her email a few more times, to see what else pops up? I wouldn't discuss it with her until you know for certain she's cheating on you. After that, I would kick her to the curb...
Recommended Posts