xinvoker Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Hi to you all!! I have read some threads here but i want to explain my very own situation specifically.I've underlined the key points. So,i am a 1st year university student,and there is this girl i like that she is 1st year also and we attend the same courses.I know her 3 months now.I talk a lot with her every day,and she is a member of what i call "Our company".I mean the core of the company is me and 4 other guys,and she frequently comes along with 1-2 friends of her(girls).I am almost always the one that invites her. Also she lives very close to my house so on the way back from university or the place we were with the company we walk together for 10-15 minutes. She didnt have a relationship as long as i know her and the same applies to me.I dont think she has many experiences with men. She is very sweet and kind.And that is what confuses me! I mean she is so kind and feels sorry for people that she might well not enjoy my company at all but she wouldn't tell me!I believe she DOES enjoy my company but i can't be sure because I am most usually the one getting to open a conversation and being close with her.As a friend always. Hints she might like me: 1)She comes with the company when i invite her.But maybe it means nothing. 2)There a course that only 2-3 people attend,thats her and 2 friends of her(girls).I have attended 2 times(to get time with her).Since then she always asks me if i will attend the course today.She seems sad when i answer no. 3) She responses to some sexual implicits but they dont involve her. Think that make me rethink about it: 1)I am not sure of how she feels and i want to be before i make a move! 2)She resposes to my close friend who is a teasing guy and it is clear that he is hitting on her.But i am sure she doesnt like him this way because of the following dialogue between them: Myfriend:"I think i dont have ur mobile number" She:"Yeah,i think u dont" Myfriend:"i am certain i dont" End of the dialogue.He got her number only a month later. BUT he responses to his teases more than mine,although i am shy and i only rarely do it. 3)I am afraid she will say "YOU PRETENDED to be friend with me to hit on me!!" 4)If she rejects me it would be awkward,because we see each other at University,we live close and have all that common friends. Right now now i am crazy about her,but i constantly change my mind about what i am gonna do with her.
Winfield Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 (edited) You've covered almost every conceivable base, yet you haven't asked her out! True enough, we've all done it at some time or another! I mean she is so kind and feels sorry for people that she might well not enjoy my company at all but she wouldn't tell me!I believe she DOES enjoy my company but i can't be sure because I am most usually the one getting to open a conversation and being close with her.As a friend always. ^^ You're putting yourself down right there before you've even started. Being a university student, surely she understands the meaning of the word "no"? If she didn't want to join your company, surely she'd have said so by now... Don't miss the boat - ask her out before your friend (who eventually got her number) does (or will) ask her out. Even if she does reject you, don't fret about it - simply put it down to experience. However, I agree about the awkwardness - but, if things are going to be strained between you both if things don't work out (putting emphasis on the word "if", because you never know, things might work out), you'll get the message loud and clear if she refuses your invite to join your "group"... There's only one way to find out! Ask her! Good luck! Edited January 19, 2008 by Winfield Yeah, OK, there were a couple of typos...what - can't a guy make a mistake, lol?
Green Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Dude get out of you head and make a move already. Don't make a life or death deal out of this, just ask her to come over and watch a movie. then be flirty and touch and if that goes well try for a kiss. The only way to get her is to risk losing her. there is almost a zero percent chance that she will just ask you out and then make all the moves... so your going to have to try something confidently
Lucasarts Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 lol i like that KMT's advice for all these topic questions is...just KISS HER! i mean its sorta true...but i dont know, you havent even really gone out with her one on one and just hung out. (Just kissing her would be fun though right? i mean even if shes not up for it, at least u kissed her!) Oh and you're saying that she doesnt have much/any experience with men? *ahem* Anywho, just get over your initial shyness, if it doesnt work out then well at least u gave it a shot and thought that it could of happened. Don't get too worked up about a girl (there are SO MANY GIRLS OUT THERE, WHY DO YOU SHY GUYS ALWAYS FEEL SO AWKWARD AND ANXIOUS ABOUT JUST ONE?! same applies to girls, but no so much...). Also if she is really your friend then there shouldn't be too much awkwardness between you guys if she rejects you. Another thing is that you said that you always have to make the call to have her hang out with your "company." Just stop making the call, let your friend "the teaser" do it, i mean if you really think that her company will be awkward if this relationship thing just crashes and burns for you. Don't go crazy, don't lose your nerve, and just ask her if she wants to hang out sometime after class, just the two of you, you know, grab lunch/brunch/dinner or something. Just go out and get a cup of coffee/tea (whatever your into) and do it. Good luck!
OrangeSnack Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Hi invoker Don't think too much about it bro, just ask her and get it over with. Don't hesitate and be yourself. Remember, you are still a freshman, you have plenty of opportunities. If this doesn't work out, keep trying, don't give up! Good luck
Author xinvoker Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 So u dont think i should make sure she likes me first by impliciting stuff etc. Rather go for a direct hit and ask her out...OK,that's what i'll probably do! One more thing though:Its exams time and she reads a lot so i must wait until it finishes(well,i have to read too!).How should i behave to her until then?
Lucasarts Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 read together. spend time together. ALONE. That is the only real way to know how much she likes you. Plus it shows that you like to be around her. Also why don't you go attend that course with her? I mean if its only her and her two friends, that gives you time to make a good impression on her as well as her friends. (A girl's friends can be your fan club as long as you come off as a good, decent guy) And read this next sentence carefully: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT CONVINCE YOURSELF TO NOT ASK HER OUT. if you do. . . then you will have the good fortune of watching someone else move in on her and sweep her off her feet. Don't be a coward, you're a man, learn to start acting and behaving like one.
OrangeSnack Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Don't be too direct bra. Don't be like HEY I REALLY LIKE YOU, CAN WE GO ON A DATE? Be more casual. Since you have exams coming up, this is a perfect time to see if she is interested in you. If she's in the same class as you, perfect. Ask her to study with you. If she has time to study with you, that means there might be some chemistry between you and her. But don't worry if she says No, because most cases that I have seen are that they tend to study better by themselves. As you progress in college, you will understand that girls are more open minded. But there are limits and boundaries. Make sure if she is one of those type of girls that can take direct approaches. Girls can often times be shy as well, so if you are too direct, you might ruin your basic friendship with her. Now hopefully that doesn't happen. This is what I would do: Just be casual, call her up, ask her if she's free this weekend to study for the exam and etc. If she says no, don't worry about it, call her up after the exam and ask her how she did and etc, and then pop the question, "So do you have any plans this weekend/weekday? Why don't we do something on this..." Cross your finger and wish for the best. Good luck!
Author xinvoker Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 Update: So,exams are over now,so when we return form this 1-week vacation i'm gonna make my move.But i will add some new facts for you to analyze: 1.It is CERTAIN now that she likes hanging out with me,as a friend always. 2.My friend "the teaser" made a very long discussion with her,about a girl he likes,asking advice.I suppose that after that he is not so into her or at least cant make a move with her soon.And she didn't seem dissappointed at all. 3.After the above discussion,she said she wanted to ask him something too.Then she told him about a boy she met,complimented her,asked her phone number,exchanged a few messages,but nothing happened and they haven't talked for 2 months.She said she liked him(that boy) but not much to call him after that.SHE KNEW i was listening because i was right beside him(she wasnt talking exclusively to him anyway,and i didnt bother to pretend i wasnt listening).Does this mean that she has never thought about me as a potential boyfriend or maybe she was trying to make me jealous?Should that worry me?She also asked how to say turn down a boy gently.I didnt tell my opinion on any of those.At least i know she'll try to do it gently...
Author xinvoker Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 Can you help me with the last point?Oh,and i forgot to say that this 1 week we are on different cities.And i 've decided that i WILL ask her out anyway.
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