brokenthinker Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 (edited) Just as the title says ^^ do you think adultery can have a happy ending for a Walk away Spouse? Edited January 18, 2008 by brokenthinker grammar
Mustang Sally Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 If they wanted out of the marriage in the first place, then yes. Possibly so. Regardless of whether they end up with the A partner or not, at least they are out of the marriage. Not saying this is the best way to accomplish that goal, but hey - sometimes an out is an out, no?
Bryanp Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I am sure for many people the answer is yes. It is much easier for the person who is leaving than for the person who has been left. For some people the hurt and pain they leave behind is of no consequence to them so for them adultry is simply another facet to a relationship and not a big deal to them.
Confused9 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I hope not because I don't think it's fair...but as we learn life isn't fair. I believed in Karma and the whole 'what goes around comes around' line. But then after my x fiance left me I thought...what the h*ll did I deserve to have this happen. Why the bad karma for me. So I think some people have worse luck than others. Sad, but true. I hope my x regrets his decision and realizes what he's lost...but I can't bank on it and I need to have a happy life...that is in my hands - not his. Once I can fully comprehend that and start working towards a better life...perhaps it won't matter anymore. For now...pity party for 1.
cj1988 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 When I left my H for my H now, I was a cheater and THOUGHT it would make me happy, but as you see I am not. If I had a choice, I would have never left my H and had the A, I would have worked harder to make it work and then leave before....Now as others have said, if the M is over in the WS's mind, I am sure they are fine when they leave, it is obviously what they wanted in the first place.
JustBreathe Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 No. I think it's a crummy way to end a marriage. Even if it's an exit affair, it's a bad way to end it. I know a lady who did exactly that because her husband was emotionally and verbally abusive. Even though she didn't love him anymore and the marriage was dead to her, she has always regretted ending it that way and that was 13 years ago.
Confused9 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 How the h*ll do we know if they meant to do it to get out or if it just happened and then they didn't know how to fix it so they bailed instead of fixing it? I really don't think my X used this as his way out...but...how do I know?
cj1988 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 No. I think it's a crummy way to end a marriage. Even if it's an exit affair, it's a bad way to end it. I know a lady who did exactly that because her husband was emotionally and verbally abusive. Even though she didn't love him anymore and the marriage was dead to her, she has always regretted ending it that way and that was 13 years ago. Your friend sounds just like me 13 years ago....I know how she feels and it is a bad feeling to carry for the rest of your life. I deserve it, my punishment for hurting someone that did not deserve it !
cj1988 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 No. I think it's a crummy way to end a marriage. Even if it's an exit affair, it's a bad way to end it. I know a lady who did exactly that because her husband was emotionally and verbally abusive. Even though she didn't love him anymore and the marriage was dead to her, she has always regretted ending it that way and that was 13 years ago. Your friend sounds just like me 13 years ago....I know how she feels and it is a bad feeling to carry for the rest of your life. I deserve it, my punishment for hurting someone that did not deserve it !
cj1988 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 No. I think it's a crummy way to end a marriage. Even if it's an exit affair, it's a bad way to end it. I know a lady who did exactly that because her husband was emotionally and verbally abusive. Even though she didn't love him anymore and the marriage was dead to her, she has always regretted ending it that way and that was 13 years ago. Your friend sounds just like me 13 years ago....I know how she feels and it is a bad feeling to carry for the rest of your life. I deserve it, my punishment for hurting someone that did not deserve it !
BetrayedMM Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 For a sociopath, sure. They seem to be karma-exempt sometimes. If there is an afterlife, then that's when they will pay the price, because they never really seem to suffer for their misdeeds in this life. For a person of conscience, inevitably cheating will always turn out to be a bad idea in the long run, for one reason or another. For that matter, is there ever a happy ending to a relationship?
BetrayedMM Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 OT, but the triple post- I'm having weird submit problems too.
Trecherized Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 i don't think there will really be true happiness. a person did commit his/her life to the other for a reason right? if the one was to stray, i think there will always be that regret that even time can't erase.
Confused9 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 For a sociopath, sure. They seem to be karma-exempt sometimes. If there is an afterlife, then that's when they will pay the price, because they never really seem to suffer for their misdeeds in this life. For a person of conscience, inevitably cheating will always turn out to be a bad idea in the long run, for one reason or another. For that matter, is there ever a happy ending to a relationship? Maybe my x is a sociopath. He's so anrgy though. Perhaps that's his guilt? I don't know. He confuses the h*ll out of me.
the_dean Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Just as the title says ^^ do you think adultery can have a happy ending for a Walk away Spouse? It certainly can but probably not the most likely scenario. I do not think people should leave their spouse for another woman or another man. They should end their marriage first if they are that unhappy. Of course I am being a bit hyocritical here.
Trialbyfire Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 For a sociopath, sure. They seem to be karma-exempt sometimes. If there is an afterlife, then that's when they will pay the price, because they never really seem to suffer for their misdeeds in this life. For a person of conscience, inevitably cheating will always turn out to be a bad idea in the long run, for one reason or another. For that matter, is there ever a happy ending to a relationship? I agree with the sometimes but not all the time... Sometimes karma needs a helping hand from a good little elf. I'm also of the school of thought that cheaters don't deserve happiness unless they've acknowledged their issues and are actively working on fixing them or have fixed them.
reboot Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Sometimes karma needs a helping hand from a good little elf.Man, I'm glad I've never ticked you off.
Trialbyfire Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Man, I'm glad I've never ticked you off. I not nice people when you frack with me...
Confused9 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 TBF...can you help my x with a little karma?! He seems to be having a gay old time with the OW and has left me high and dry. Perhaps you could send him some diarhea or something?
Trialbyfire Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 TBF...can you help my x with a little karma?! He seems to be having a gay old time with the OW and has left me high and dry. Perhaps you could send him some diarhea or something? Ah, another believer in non-happiness for the non-remorseful cheater. I will consider this for awhile as to the appropriate punishment, since diarrhea is too mild and is rarely a permanent illness. You too can be a good little elf. You know his vulnerabilities. Just keep it legal and keep it sane.
Confused9 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 You too can be a good little elf. You know his vulnerabilities. Just keep it legal and keep it sane. hmmmm. How would I even pull this off if I am in in full NC??? Care to elaborate?
Trialbyfire Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 This is something you need to figure out yourself. Make 100% certain you can live with yourself and know anything you do, will hurt you as badly or worse, than any action you choose to take. If you realize this and are still willing to proceed, do it without remorse.
BetrayedMM Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Oh yeah, what they deserve isn't legal. But, a good old fashioned tar-and-feathering and a large A branded on the forehead would warm the heart, wouldn't it? There was a time when folks knew how to properly deal with scum.
Confused9 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I don't want to hurt him. H*ll I am not taking him to court for money he owes me because I don't want to hurt him. I still love this man. Or I guess I should say I loved the man he was for 7 years...not the man he became the end of September. I guess for me...I just want to be happy first and it seems he is happy now and I don't think that's fair.
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