Teresa55 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 In the big scheme of life problems this is probably minor to most, but here goes anyhow. My man and I lived together for 5 years, then split up for 6 months. During that time we moved to separate states, but got back together and now are in a ld relationship where we spend a few days together every 6 weeks or so. We talk several times per evening, but only for a few minutes per time. We used to share a phone plan, but his phone service doesn't work in my state so I got a new phone service and it includes so many free text msgs per month. His prior plan did not include text, other than text from the service itself re minutes or updates. On 3 different occasions over the past few months I have checked texts in his presence, so the subject has come up. He has never told me he now has text msgs on his service, even tho I specifically just a few days ago again said I got so many free, whereas yours does not have text except network sent msgs except re service. I am now visiting in his state. This morning, while he was in shower, and I still in bed, his phone rang once, so I opened it, thinking he has a voicemail and I would go tell him someone called. Much to my surprise he had a text from a PERSON. It was just a joke msg (yes I read it) but I also noticed he had other text msgs, although I quickly closed phone and did not read any of the others, nor scroll down to try to see who they were from. Now, ordinarily, I would just ask why he never told me he has text messaging now, but for some reason, my gut just told me not to. I never mentioned I even checked his phone. He does not use his phone on the job (plant work), although he does have male friends here he occasionally talks to briefly. But my question is if any of you have any thoughts on why he would not want me to know he has text messaging, and if all if innocent, why wouldn't he have just told me when the subject has come up? He also made the comment last night that he "likes" having a long distance relationship as it is so much better (sex etc) when we do see each other. But he also made the comment (and I thought it to be insecurity at the time) that I would be leaving in a few days and I could go back to doing whatever I did and he would never be the wiser. Any input on what all this might mean and how to handle it?
Sierra Sunrise Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 He was in the shower and not to beat you down or anything but you should have scrolled down and seen where those texts were exactly coming from. Another thing to do, you have his cell phone number so text him while the two of you are together and say "Hey looks like you have text on your phone now yay"! You know how to play that off. Then he can't lie nor deny. Now as for the other things I would play it cool. His remark about you going and doing what you were before without him being any the wiser can be insecurity but it can also be a projection of his own guilt. If he is guilty he may be thinking you're doing the same thing. Cheaters, myself included, do this because they think well my spouse (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever) must be doing this too since it's so easy for me to do. I say keep your ears open, keep on your feet, and keep your eyes peeled. It's worth investigating a bit more. I hope that helps.
BetrayedMM Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I agree^. A little suspicious, but not conclusive. Are there any more signs of cheating? Google "signs of cheating", you will find many resources. If he fits the profile, by all means investigate further. For instance- if you get the chance again, READ THOSE TEXTS!
Trecherized Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I agree^. A little suspicious, but not conclusive. Are there any more signs of cheating? Google "signs of cheating", you will find many resources. If he fits the profile, by all means investigate further. For instance- if you get the chance again, READ THOSE TEXTS! I just have to say that the "signs of cheating" are so true. about 80% of those i experienced, especially the first few. 1 - When they no longer want sex or makes excuses to not have sex. 2 - When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to "work" or "play a game" on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag. 3 - When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses for the change in their behavior. I agree with what everyone else has said. Investigate! I did but I guess she covered them up very well. Her phone was even locked but I got to sneak it out while she was asleep. Too bad there was no text from someone that I expected. Good Luck with that. I guess what I'm saying is don't let it get to where I'm at.
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