JimMorrison Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 (edited) Hey, Well Valentines day is coming up. My ex broke up with me around christmas, because for her gift I wrote a mean letter b/c she was giving me the whole run around about things. I did make a nice DVD though. Anyyyways, I was thinking of sending my ex's sisters, my ex, and her mom an anonymous boquet of flowers for valentines day. I'll have the clerk write out something like "to the <lastname> women, the lovliest of them all! happy valentines day!" and leave it completely anonymous. My motive is simple, if I inflicted pain amongst the women of that family (which is how they definitely perceive it -- for her sister shot dirty looks at me on the roadway), maybe I can bring them some joy? I have been doing NC and won't make any mention of it, maybe way down the road, or maybe if they guess who it is. What do you think? Kind gesture? Or would it creep you out?? Edited January 18, 2008 by JimMorrison
Tony T Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 They will know the flowers came from you and it will piss them off. I know what your motive is here but it won't work. Give yourself a very nice Valentine's Day gift, one that will do the best good for everybody, FORGET HER FOREVER!!! Don't make a fool out of yourself by sending flowers to a group of women who could care less.
Author JimMorrison Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 (edited) I doubt they'd know it was me, I'd send it from a strange town, not my usual florist. Im not trying to gain anything, except good karma. You really think it would piss them off? meh maybe you're right. good thing i post here! Edited January 18, 2008 by JimMorrison
Krytie TV Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 You're only doing it because you want the attention of the ex. It's such an incredibly transparent gesture that's been done over and over. It doesn't matter if they know who sent them. You and everyone on LS knows that the motivation would not be sincere... it's a ploy to get what you want... and that's bad. There is nothing postive that can come of this, and you will have wasted your money. Just let it go.
littlekitty Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 You're only doing it because you want the attention of the ex. It's such an incredibly transparent gesture that's been done over and over. It doesn't matter if they know who sent them. You and everyone on LS knows that the motivation would not be sincere... it's a ploy to get what you want... and that's bad. There is nothing postive that can come of this, and you will have wasted your money. Just let it go. I agree with this. It's just an attempt to get bac attention.
LakesideDream Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Jim, If send flowers to those ladies will bring you joy.. make you smile, do it. Life and the joys you find are few and far in between. Don't worry about all the stealth stuff either. Just sign the cards and send em off.
Author JimMorrison Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Thanks Lakeside. I suppose it would be viewed as an attempt of manipulation to the women however, as pointed out by the other members. Ive tried doing nice things before that backfired with her. I'm going to send flowers in the summer, when her dad died, and I think that will be much more meaningful and kind anyways, and wasting less money =) Now if I can only remember the exact date!
underpants Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Why don't you send her an Easter Basket on Valentine's Day. Just to be weird.
LakesideDream Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Thanks Lakeside. I suppose it would be viewed as an attempt of manipulation to the women however, as pointed out by the other members. Ive tried doing nice things before that backfired with her. I'm going to send flowers in the summer, when her dad died, and I think that will be much more meaningful and kind anyways, and wasting less money =) Now if I can only remember the exact date! Whoa! That's not what I reccomended at all. It's not about "wasting" money, or being "meaningful and kind" it's about making you feel happy. As an old geezer I can tell you for sure that when you do something for someone else, you are actually doing it for yourself. When you do something based on an agenda, you are manipulating... and it can be unseemly.
JustinWolf Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Honnestly, I'd say don't do it. The moment their thoughts are going to be on you and they find out that you sent them, it will piss them off. I suggest you keep that money and get yourself a treat Wanna be happy, go out with friends instead and forget about her.
82knightrider Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Buy flowers for your mom instead.Just appreciate the things you do have and dont worry about what you dont have:cool:
norajane Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 When a woman tells you to f*ck off, why do you feel the need to go back for more?
Author JimMorrison Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 because I don't like to give up easily! When something doesnt go my way I dont just shrug and say ohhh well, another day another hassle! It would make me feel happy to do it, but knowing it would make them unhappy would make me unhappy, so I wont do it.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I'm not going to get into the right or wrong of sending flowers but I will suggest that you not send flowers during the anniversary of her father's death. The last thing you want is to have yourself tied into a negative or sad event.
Author JimMorrison Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Yeah true, good point. Giving her flowers years before on this day made her very happy, but you are right things are different
PinkRibbon Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 You know I don't understand what the big deal about him sending flowers? If he wants to send them by all means send them. I don't understand why whenever someone wants to try and get back with there ex or make some kind of amends or some kind of gesture why is it automatically a bad thing? Where in his opening paragraph did he mention that they said to F-off? And whay kind of comment is "depends on where you stick them."? That doesn't seem very adult and very constructive to me. And I don't remember you mentioning that it would piss them off until it was suggested to you. Send the flowers, sign your name and enjoy the fact you bucked and tried to make some kind of kind gesture. There is no harm in sending flowers. But do NOT send them on her anniversary of her fathers death and don't be too elaborate with the flowers. No roses to the mom or sister.
norajane Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Where in his opening paragraph did he mention that they said to F-off? His previous threads about their break-up make it very clear she wants nothing to do with him at all. He can send the flowers if he wants, obviously, but if he's hoping it's going to make her want him back or think well of him, he's going to be disappointed. If he's doing it only because he thinks it's a nice thing to do and isn't just setting himself up to continue hoping she'll come around, then he'll be fine. However, his other threads indicate that this is one more last ditch effort to win over a woman who doesn't want him. And when a woman treats you badly, and you go back and do more nice things for her instead of getting pissed off at her and her bad behavior, that just gives her permission to continue treating you badly...doormat syndrome.
PinkRibbon Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I still do not see where it said to F-off. Maybe they are having no contact with him but he still did not say they told him to do that. You know I don't understand if he wants to make a last effort then let him. When he realizes that it may not get him the desired results he wants then he will decide that it is time to stop the effort. And not all women get pissed off if someone does nice things for them after they have broken up. And if I read correctly he treated her badly also by the "mean " letter at Christmas. We don't have enough of the story to decide who did what he provided no detalis as to the reasons before they broke up. All he wanted to know if sending flowers was a bad idea.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 PinkRibbon, nj has the right to dig deeper into the situation and provide her perspective of what constitutes helpful advice. It doesn't mean that either your opinion or her opinion is better or worse, right or wrong for the OP. It does give the OP different perspectives, which is the beauty of LS.
Woggle Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Get over this woman and stop wasting your time. Why oh why do men chase women like this and stress themselves out? She isn't worth it. If you want to get her back get over her and move on with your life. Once a woman realizes she no longer has your heart she might want it back.
PinkRibbon Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 PinkRibbon, nj has the right to dig deeper into the situation and provide her perspective of what constitutes helpful advice. It doesn't mean that either your opinion or her opinion is better or worse, right or wrong for the OP. It does give the OP different perspectives, which is the beauty of LS. Yes you're right and I am wrong thanks for pointing it out. I feel so much better for not realizing everyone could have an opinion which I though that was what I was doing by expressing my opinion but again thank you for pointing that out. Apparently my opinion was not the right one.
norajane Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 I still do not see where it said to F-off. Maybe they are having no contact with him but he still did not say they told him to do that. You know I don't understand if he wants to make a last effort then let him. When he realizes that it may not get him the desired results he wants then he will decide that it is time to stop the effort. And not all women get pissed off if someone does nice things for them after they have broken up. And if I read correctly he treated her badly also by the "mean " letter at Christmas. We don't have enough of the story to decide who did what he provided no detalis as to the reasons before they broke up. All he wanted to know if sending flowers was a bad idea. When someone says they want time and space and NC, sending flowers is NOT giving them either time, space or NC. It is CONTACT, directly the opposite of what was requested. And yes, that tends to piss people off. Again, it's obviously his choice as to whether to send the flowers or not. But he asked if it was a bad idea, and I told him I believe it is a bad idea because he will likely be very disappointed with the results.
JustinWolf Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Read this thread, Thanks to PLAYBRAT and CalamitousJane http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t141953/ Oh and let it go, don't send flowers, completely forget about her and I think you'll feel a lot better.
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