JustinWolf Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 You know after so long, I've decided to post this in the coping section instead of the Second Chances section. I'm saying I've been through a lot less than most people here, and I aknowledge everyone deserves to be happy. I wish right now, I was. I blocked my ex for like a a couple of weeks and then I couldn't do it anymore and I unblocked her. Found out she isn't with her bf anymore. She said I stress her that's why she's having a hard time speaking to me. Then I said "you know why i'm like that." and then I went to tell her how much I love her and how hard these past months have been. Telling her not a day goes by when I think of her. When I was done saying all of that. I realised, Ooooopppssss, I just set myself back like an idiot. I even asked for us to meet up. I was doing so well and I knew her and her bf wouldn't last much longer and instead of waiting patiently, I jumped in the shark's mouth. And once again, I don't know what I should do.
BeautifulMystique Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Ouch. I wouldn't have done that if I were you but either way, it's out there already and the only thing you can do now is not to ponder about what you did. Give her some more time, that is if you really want her back and even that, it's still up to her.
jdeedee Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 You've said what you've said and there's nothing you can do about that except learn from the past. Now that you know you've expressed yourself to her I would recommend going back to no contact. If you want her back that is fine and no contact doesn't mean you don't have to accept her if she is willing to try again. It does mean that you should do all you can to try and move on. She knows how you feel and the ball is in her court now. In the mean time focus on yourself, go to the gym, do things you enjoy doing for yourself. Enjoy your free time to learn and experience new things. Its now JustinWolf time. Make the most of it!
Always Wrong Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I blocked my ex for like a a couple of weeks and then I couldn't do it anymore and I unblocked her. So she's the one who called after you unblocked her? If so, she's testing the water!
Author JustinWolf Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 So she's the one who called after you unblocked her? If so, she's testing the water! Actually no, I just unblocked her to speak to her.
Always Wrong Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Ok, sorry man, wishful thinking I guess. I hope you get to feeling better. Force yourself to stay as busy as possible for a few weeks... staying busy helps me cope with that empty feeling. But it's slowly going away. It does go away! Not as quickly as we would like... but it subsides with time.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 I had that feeling leave, and then, I got news of her being single again and I jumped on the bandwagon like an idiot. I am honnestly disapointed in myself. I've never really been like that, to run after a girl and suddenly this girl comes and makes me use the last trump card I ever had. Now I feel everything is collapsing onto itself and it's breaking apart. It's a crazy feeling but I know the moment I step out, breathe a bit, have some fun it goes away, then again, at one point, I have to come back home and that's when the feeling usually comes back.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Hey, stop beating yourself up about it. It's done and now the ball is in her court. In this way, there's no confusion about what you would like to happen. Good luck!
Lee725 Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Oh justinwolf, this girl hurt you so badly before. Be very careful, when speaking to her remember the pain that she has caused you before you make any real decisions. When you face her think this time with your brain my friend, not your heart. Your heart probably cant take much more from this girl. Good luck hun.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 Thanks Lee725, I know it's hard but sometimes even after that eyes are close shut and we only see what we want to see but I know that and I keep it in my head all the time and like I spoke to her again, except this time with my brain instead of my heart. Also, I think I should stay in contact with her? I don't know preferrably low contact show her I'm having a good time with my life and all and see how she reacts to that?
BeautifulMystique Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Also, I think I should stay in contact with her? I don't know preferrably low contact show her I'm having a good time with my life and all and see how she reacts to that? Just be a friend to her. Who knows with more time, you both will be more than friends in the future. But I would keep my options open with other girls, if I were you.
Always Wrong Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 BeautifulMystique gives a very potent suggestion... options JW... options!
Author JustinWolf Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 The thing is, right now, I can speak to her with a big smile without having a major break down or anything. There are things that make me uncomfortable. For example, if she says she met a guy or some guy keeps wanting to be with her. It makes me sick to my stomach but then again, I pretend I don't care and continue talking. So what I'm asking is, should I just go into LC, NC or be a friend to her? Opinions people :S
Always Wrong Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 WTF Justin? Why is she saying sh*t like that to you? Unless she's an idiot... (sorry), she MUST know she's hurting you! Does she have a compulsion for emasculating men? You see... that's why I can't do the "friends" thing after being lovers... it's not normal! Next time you talk to her say, "Oh babe! You wouldn't believe this gorgeous woman that asked me out at the frozen foods section of the grocery store! I'm so excited! Do you think she just wants to get laid? Or maybe this could be the Love at First Sight thing you always hear about! I can't believe it! I'm so excited! Say that and then ask her, "Aren't you so excited for me?" "C'mon, tell me how great that makes you feel! Doesn't that make you feel as good as it makes me feel?" I seriously doubt she's going to really enjoy that dialoge! So why do they say crap like that to us if it's not to hurt us?
PinkRibbon Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 Just curious why would you want to be friends with someone who broke your heart? You wouldn't take your friends treating you like crud do you? And being friends can only lead to more heartache and you can not fully recover is you don't just stop the contact. Buck up and do not contact her or allow her to conatct you. There are millions of women in this world why settle for some who broke your heart? And yes you may love her but you are never going to open yourself up to another love if you don't leave her alone. You could be missing an opportunity for a great future with someone but you will never give someone an opportunity. And telling you of new BF's is bad manners and oh so chlldish.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 19, 2008 Author Posted January 19, 2008 eeek, i should've been more precise, because she didn't really say that. She said she was angry because one of her friends told her he loves her and practically forced himself on her, it hurt for like a second and then she said she left the guy there and honnestly, while it did hurt a bit, it made me more sick than anything else. I don't know, I think I truly don't care. I'm quite relaxed more than ever and I'm feeling fine. I feel my old happy self is coming back, that's why I was wondering what should be my next step.
Always Wrong Posted January 20, 2008 Posted January 20, 2008 Oh... ok... well... in that case... disregard everything I just said! lol Sorry Justin... didn't mean to jump on it like that. I misinterpeted what I read. I'm glad to hear the guy didn't get too agressive with her. He sounds like a real pain in the butt. Sounds like you're in control, and you've got a grip on things. Patience and low to no contact for a while. That's my take on it.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 20, 2008 Author Posted January 20, 2008 Sounds like you're in control, and you've got a grip on things. Patience and low to no contact for a while. That's my take on it. Patience, low to no contact, noted. I think it's time I start doing what is right. So it's time for me to just calm myself down, go out have fun, enjoy life as it is and see how it affects her, worst case, she doesn't come back and I'll be fine. Goodies. By the way, thanks for everything, everyone. You all rock in my book
Author JustinWolf Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 Ugh, I blocked her again, can't be her friend. Really not. Talking to her and she still is hanging with her ex. I guess I just can't cope with that, can't be her friend and especially can't let her be like that with me. Using me. So I'm gonna be the stronger one and just block her and end this. I'm going to keep listening to "Eminem - Kim" and laugh it out.
Always Wrong Posted January 22, 2008 Posted January 22, 2008 Justin! Go back to the main page of the coping forum and click on: "Do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you? Guide for the long walk" This thread is outstanding advice on the "break up and feel better about it", subject. It really will help you to read it! AW
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