jules_sugar Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][sIZE=2][COLOR=black] My husband left 7 months ago, as we had some issues that have been going for years. I didnt want him to leave and suggested we go to a counsellor to fix it. He left anyway and i decided that i needed to be strong for our kids. Infact i have been happier on my own with the children since then as i realised how miserable he made me. He is now living away is a small bedsit and is a student. When he wanted to visit the children (which was not often) i allowed him to stay over as he lived far away. I helped and accomdated him whenever i could and he never returned the respect and has made things difficult for me to move on. Telling me he is lonely and depressed and blaming me for being strong...he wont except that he chose to leave. The last time he visited i checked his mobile (wrong i know but i had my doubts) And i found out he is in a relationship with another student. The messages were very intimate and suggested they are in love and have been sharing their room. Now i feel crushed....I cant sleep or eat and the messages go round and round in my head....i visualise things i shouldnt. He was never romantic with me and i feel worthless. I was upset with the deceit that he let me believe he was lonely and depressed and that he was only away to "assess the situation" Suddenly all my strengh has gone and i want to talk with him, and hug him. I feel like i need him to comfort me when i should be angry with him? I keep thinking of the things I should have done to save the relationship. But rationally i know i tried really hard and that he never treated me well. Whats going on with me? I feel like i am going insane? jules AT[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT][/FONT]
Lee725 Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Hi Jules, i have seen your post now 3 or 4 times in different categories. Posting in multiple threads about the same issue is going to make it confusing for people who are going to reply. From what i read here, it appears that now he is with someone else your interest in him has sparked up again. Infact i have been happier on my own with the children since then as i realised how miserable he made me. By your own admission you were happier without him. I helped and accomdated him whenever i could and he never returned the respect and has made things difficult for me to move on. Telling me he is lonely and depressed and blaming me for being strong...he wont except that he chose to leave. He has come to you expressing his emotions, now was there a chance when he was doing this that you told him you were happier without him? If you done this, he has every right to move on. It appears (i hope i have not miss-read your post), that he left, you became happy without him, he tried to express his emotions to you, for one reason or another you did not reconcile and now he is with someone else you are upset about that? I hope this does not come across as harsh, but if he has moved on, it is time to start to heal from this and move on yourself. Good Luck
Author jules_sugar Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 Sorry lee, I have never posted things before and i have been trying to do this all evening as i cant cope with another night not sleeping. Apologies i didnt realise. Thanks again
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