Lucky555 Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Has anyone ever felt really emotional like fearful and sad but they want to move on, its like your paralyzed emotionally. I am doing really good with No contact with the guy I was seeing. However, I saw this attractive guy today and I had all kinds of emotions at once. Like it was CRAZY all the thoughts that went through my head. Why couldn't i just be casual and not think anything. I had thoughts of sadness like wow hes a really attractive guy but would he hurt me? I know rationally that i dont even know the person and why did i think this!
nicki Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 You are not partially broken, simply hurt and trying to avoid the same hurt in the future. Completely normal and self-protective. After all, once upon a time you saw a guy, dated him and it ended with you having a broken heart. And it all started with you noticing him and thinking he was attractive, and then wanting to get to know him. When you saw the new guy, the same possible scenario played in your head. It's not rational, it's just that it's possible it COULD happen again, and your mind is trying to protect you by preparing you for that possibility. Would you notice a guy with the same bad tendencies as the other guy? Would you get out if you needed to? These can be good thoughts to explore. Don't worry, though, I've been through it. It's simple fear. Welcome it, explore what you will do if a potential guy exhibits loser tendencies. That will make you feel powerful. Then, change your inner dialogue the next time you see an attractive guy. After running the "what if he hurts me?' question through your head, tell yourself "He might be a great guy. I'll find out and do what I need to do as the situation unfolds." In other words, be hopeful, but keep your eyes open. You'd be surprised at how much you have learned from your last relationship!
Author Lucky555 Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 Thanks nikki i need that. Thats a good way to think about it. Glad to know that my thinking is normal to begin with. I will try to plant those good thoughts in my head next time i see an attractive guy thanks a bunch
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