Jilly Bean Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 What do you think that means when someone you had a date with ends the evening with that comment? I have a friend who had a date with a guy last night who said this to her. I thought it meant, "I like you, and would love to hear from you again, but I'm not sure how you feel about me, so please feel free to contact me whenever you like, as I'd be receptive and I'd love to hear from you." She thought it was a blow-off and was miffed. I think I'm right. Thoughts?
Art_Critic Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 To me it means he has no self confidence and is looking for her approval before going further.. He doesn't want to risk rejection because he isn't sure of if she is on board yet.. He is also looking for the easy kill in the sense that if she re initiates contact and chases him that is a guaranteed score for him and he doesn't have to breath hard to have sex with her..
sunshinegirl Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I think your friend is right. Unless the guy is extremely socially stunted and doesn't know how to say "I like you and would like to see you again."
crosswordfiend Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I agree with you. Not a blow-off in my books. More a sign of insecurity about how she feels about him.
Author Jilly Bean Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 AC - very well done! I think you're right, on both assessements. So, since both work against each other for her, meaning, she probably does need to give him a green light, yet if she does, then she is easy prey, how would you advise her to proceed? I told her to contact him to get together again. WDYT?
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Jilly, I don't think giving him a green light would make her "easy prey," the dude doesn't seem to know how (or have the confidence) to hunt.
Author Jilly Bean Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 Yeah, you are all probably right - he lacks the dating confidence he should have. It happens, right? So, do you all think she needs to pursue him then? I know she's also rather intimidated by him, so it's like watching a bad stalemate at this point, as I suspect he is waiting for her call (since he told her DONT BE A STRANGER lol), and she wants him to call her. Sigh. Kids. I think she should contact him and ask him to grab sushi or something.
Art_Critic Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I think she should contact him and ask him to grab sushi or something. Yeah I agree...
StartingOver07 Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 What do you think that means when someone you had a date with ends the evening with that comment? I have a friend who had a date with a guy last night who said this to her. I thought it meant, "I like you, and would love to hear from you again, but I'm not sure how you feel about me, so please feel free to contact me whenever you like, as I'd be receptive and I'd love to hear from you." She thought it was a blow-off and was miffed. I think I'm right. Thoughts? I'd want to know more about the date for better context. Absent any details, I am inclined to side with your friend. I have never heard this said except as a blow-off.
Author Jilly Bean Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 Oh, I dunno. I think it I were to say dont be stranger to someone, it would be my way of seeing if I could gauge their interest and see if they would contact me, as I'd be open to it, but I was too afraid to put myself out there. I wasn't there, but from what I heard, the date went very well. I think it lasted about 4 hours, she said they laughed a lot, had great chemistry, etc.
johan Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Who knows what it meant? Maybe it's a dumb, sort of ironic, way to say he'd like to see her again. Like deliberate understatement.
Lee725 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I say that to friends who i only manage to catch up with once in a blue moon. Would i say it at the end of a date? no way. I am getting the feeling tho, maybe he wasn't that into her despite the length of the date, the laughing and the Chemistry, surely if that was so great in his mind - he would have said (or at least thought to say) something a little more forward? Perhaps i am just being a pessimist.
compassion42 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I consider "don't be a stranger" to be a pretty generic statement . Something you say when you don't feel like committing to getting together again and are just being polite.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 The only thing I get from the statement is dont be afraid to keep in contact
rosalie Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I say that to friends who i only manage to catch up with once in a blue moon. Would i say it at the end of a date? no way. I am getting the feeling tho, maybe he wasn't that into her despite the length of the date, the laughing and the Chemistry, surely if that was so great in his mind - he would have said (or at least thought to say) something a little more forward? Perhaps i am just being a pessimist. Abolsutely, if a guy said that to me not only would I think he's a dick no way would I call. What's wrong with "let's catch up soon" or whatever... don't be a stranger...blaahhhh, he's a goner and not even funny.
Author Jilly Bean Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 OK, thanks for the responses. Seems we are not split evenly on analysis on this one. I know they texted each other yesterday, but no mention of a future date. I suppose time will tell how it fleshes out!
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