Two Girls, One Conscious

[IamAndNot]

Two Girls, One Conscious

 

Yeeeahhh so once again it seems I have backed myself into a corner. Now this problem of mine could admittedly be, a lot worse. Some would not even interpret the situation as a problem in the first place. I suppose then really it is a personal moral dilemma. Here is, for all practical purposes, the full story, background information included.

 

Julia is a girl who I have known for quite some time, since the seventh grade to be precise. In the year of Y2K, Julia and I had dated however it was rather childish and did not last very long. Julia and I remained good friends since then. In Fall of 2006 she and I had re-connected at college after a communication lull lasting about two years (she had moved a town away and changed high schools)

 

Julia and I decided to play the dating game again. This was, put nicely, a rough patch in my life ripe with drinking and poor decisions. I had brought Julia to a friend’s house for a night of partying (Julia is a drinker too). As it goes, I ended up romancing with a young lady (with whom I’ve had previous encounters) on the first floor, while Julia was in the basement.

 

I know, I know.

 

In this case, I feel I did the responsible thing: Julia and I spoke and decided it would be better off if we just remained friends. Note, I did not tell her at this point about the “romancing”, however eventually it came out. Julia and my friend Steven ending up dating for several months, which is another story entirely. During their relationship, we would still all hang out as a group and get completely obliterated. Sometimes, Julia would bring out her (several years) younger sister, Felecia.

 

Occasionally, Felecia and I would get together and do a little romancing ourselves. All this was done behind Julia’s back and we had a few narrow escapes when Julia nearly discovered us, but Felecia is an expert in denial. This continued on and off for a year or so, always remaining completely casual, for circumstances prevented anything more.

 

Julia and Steve’s relationship ended in an awful train-wreck. Julia stuck around for a while longer but found herself completely dissatisfied with her life. Then, and opportunity arose for her to study abroad in Budapest for a year. Graciously, she accepted; leaving Felecia and I without a err… mediator?

 

Felecia and I always kept a rather consistent correspondence (we are instant messaging professionals) so it was only a matter of time before we decided to meet up. My original intention (well… one of them) was to receive dance lessons from Felecia in an attempt to build my character. It did not take long to go from the dance floor to the bedroom; especially when you consider the dance floor IS IN the bedroom.

 

Rather unexpectedly, Felecia and I began to hang out regularly, spending the night with each other at least bi-weekly. This development, although kept in the back of my mind, was not an ideal. Women and alcohol are vices with a devastating grip, and so affected my relationship track-record. Nonetheless, we have a great physical relationship, only problem is, she is young, and it seems likely that she is becoming attached. Although we officially never discussed being a couple, it is my interpretation that she feels we are mutually exclusive, and I have never offered evidence to the contrary.

 

Intro Mandy:

For two people who have had as little interpersonal communication as Mandy and I have had, we certainly share extremely intertwined lives; she is best friends with of my cousins, is casual friend with my mom, and dated another one of my cousins*. Mandy and I also are neighbors, separated only by two houses. Recently, we were at the bar together until closing, walked a block back to our houses and had a brief make-out session before retiring.

 

I know. I know.

*To make matters worse, said cousin is purportedly “in love” with Mandy, and was also at the bar with us that same night.

 

Well, the thing is, Mandy and I seem to have a thing for each other (this is my instinct, as things are still in their infancy). Now we have reached my dilemma: how do I proceed? On the one hand, Felecia knows nothing of this. Additionally, there is the caveat about my cousin. Still, on the other, shouldn’t we (Mandy and I) choose to proceed at our own discretion?

 

I, my friends, am at a loss.

Edited January 17, 2008 by IamAndNot

[Leia]

This, my friend, is screwed up situation.

 

You are torn between two girls.

 

How about you concentrate on Felecia and leave Mandy alone? Your cousin is "in love" with Mandy and isn't she a "hands off"? She may not be your cousin's girlfriend but how would your cousin feel if he found out about you and Mandy?

 

If you and Mandy still want to pursue a relationship, friendship or FWB thing; best solution is to sit Felecia and your cousin together with you both and tell them that you and Mandy would like to date one another.

 

Good luck.

[Lee725]

Holy goodnight, that was complex, my little brain was choking & coughing to keep up LOL.

Dating multiple people who are related, or someone who is (or was) romantically involved with a relative of yours, is going to end up messy no matter how you look at it.

 

You are saying that Felecia is young & seems to be becoming attached.

If this is not what you want you need to end this now irrespective of what happens with Mandy.

 

If Mandy is what you want tell Felecia now that you cant keep doing what you have been.

If you don't tell her before starting something more than you have with Mandy, Felecia is going to feel cheated on.

 

I hope i have read the thread correctly.

 

Good luck which ever way you go, in all honesty i would probably step away from the whole thing and have a look for someone who isn't going to come with all the "i am going to upset someone", issues.

[dropdeadlegs]

That post should have been served up with some popcorn and a soft drink!

 

I gotta go with Lee on this one, though. The situation with Felecia needs to end, and sadly I think she will be hurt. Not entirely your fault, though, and you both can take away learned lesson from it.

 

Mandy, yeah, she comes with too many complications. You can't date her unless/until your cousin is madly in love with someone else. At least not without some serious fallout. Remember, your cousin will always be your cousin, and my guess is that Mandy will likely be a dalliance.

 

I'm guessing that alcohol lessens your ability to make good decisions. You might want to be careful with that and tread carefully in the future. Not that I'm immune, I've made horrible choices under the influence.

[Trialbyfire]

I hope there wasn't any roofy involved, for only one girl to be conscious. Are you certain you didn't mean conscience?

 

You appear to be the kind of person that always needs to bridge from one person to the other. You have two choices. You can either get these issues fixed or you can find women who don't mind your cheating ways.