konfuzd Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I met my "summer fling" 6 months ago. We kept in touch since, and he then came to visit me before the holidays for 2 weeks. On his last visit, we decided we wanted to pursue a relationship, but he said he wanted to take things 'really slow' because of a past relationship that left him totally heartbroken. So, he tells me today that he is moving here this coming summer, and he already gave his notice at work. I was thrilled at first, but now I am experiencing a flurry of emotions. I don't know how to react, for someone who wants to take things slow, this seems rather rushed. I feel a certain pressure and not sure how to handle things. We've only really spent 3 face-to-face weeks together. I love the time we've spent together, but this just seems like a huge decision to make in such a short time. There's still 6 months until he gets here, but I just want to know if anyone's been in a similar circumstance. How do you deal with the location change? Does it put an additional pressure on the relationship? Oh, on a side note, his best friend lives in my city and is a mutual friend, they will probably find a place together. So he does have another reason besides me to be here.
TMichaels Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 konfuzd, Take a deep breath. Your friend won't be here for six months. A lot could happen between now and then, including that his plans might change. On the optimistic side, think of his moving closer near you as an opportunity for you two to get to know each other and find out sooner rather than later that it's a relationship worth pursuing. You can go as slow or as fast as you want -- just as you have the option to do with someone who has always lived nearby. Remember, he's the one who made the decision to make a major change in his life. You shouldn't feel pressured or responsible for the decision *he* made. How things will work out, only time will tell. In the meantime, I am sure there are plenty of posters here in LDRs who would give their eye teeth to have your problem! Relax, be yourself, and don't worry. Que sera, sera. Best, TMichaels
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