LoveIsABeauty Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 OMG!!! So if you have been reading my posts I think I may know why he left me the way he did. It makes sense and it doesn’t make sense at the same time but I think he lost a bit of respect for me because of something that we did together. I mean I don’t know this for sure sure but I have been feeling that it has to be about what we did together(on the phone) but kept pushing that idea far away from my mind not wanting to believe it. So it may be that it may not be but sadly I’m having strong feelings that it is though. So anyways I would like to know more about what guys do when they lose a bit of respect or whatever for the girl that they are with and what to do if something like that happened. Thanks so much!!
Leia Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Did you guys have phone sex? Is that why he is now disrespecting you? If so, that's pretty stupid.
LoveIsABeauty Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 (edited) Umm lol what makes you think that?!? Does it make sense to you though? Anyways if you have read my posts you'll see what he did. Its pretty stupid and disrespectful but I'm pretty sure its the loss of respect thing. The point is what to do? Edited January 17, 2008 by LoveIsABeauty
sedgwick Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Are you kidding? You gave him phone sex and he's not all over you thinking you're the most awesome girl ever? How old is this guy? Listen, honey, there are very few things about which I have faith in myself, but I am 100% certain I f*ck like a pornstar. On the phone, in real life, whenever I'm given an opportunity. And if anyone disrespected me for that they'd be missing out BIG TIME. Are you sure he's straight?
Lee725 Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Respect goes both ways. If he done something bad or forced to you - you may loose respect. If you did something bad or forced to him - he may loose respect. If you done something together, unforced and both willing - why should he loose respect and you don't?
hellp12234 Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 i agree with everyone, why would he lose respect for you because of something that he took part in himself. if that is really the case, that he lost respect for you, then he has to have lost respect for himself too or else he has double standards.
Leia Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Umm lol what makes you think that?!? Does it make sense to you though? Anyways if you have read my posts you'll see what he did. Its pretty stupid and disrespectful but I'm pretty sure its the loss of respect thing. The point is what to do? Lol. Which post are you talking about? Anyway, I figured it was phone sex coz what else would it be??? It's really stupid and if I were you, I'd be done with him long ago!
LoveIsABeauty Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 (edited) Sedgwick you tell em girl! I think exactly the way you think so I agree with you a 100%. Yeah we had fun. He loved it I’m sure of it I mean he wanted to do that sooo bad. So we kind of got into it but didn’t go full force if you know what I mean. I don’t know ever since he did what he did I keep getting this gut feeling that it has something to do with that. No matter what I tell myself that creeps up and I’m thinking damn he lost respect. I mean in a way it does make sense at least through his eyes. It’s the way he was brought up…very traditional. To me it’s like dude you efin wanted it and you kind of got it. You should be happy but then again he could have been happy in the moment but then a couple days later thought about it and felt hey if the girl did this with me and then who else did she do this with and the whole yatta yatta crap. I mean I don’t know for sure if it’s that but it is highly highly possible. Ugh I’m soo mad! Respect is huge in both our families so I’m like damn why did I go and do this???! And yeah he is straight lol… Lee725 you make some really good points. It was pretty unforced and we were both willing sort of. He was over the board willing and I was kind of but anyways yeah I’m pretty annoyed by it. At least there’s always redemption from that kind of thing right? Yeah it’s pretty much bs if he lost respect for me. How depressing. I mean if he did lose some respect, does that change the way I should deal with the situation? or better yet what am I supposed to do? Link to the other post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t140745/ Edited January 17, 2008 by LoveIsABeauty
Leia Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I mean in a way it does make sense at least through his eyes. It’s the way he was brought up…very traditional. To me it’s like dude you efin wanted it and you kind of got it. You should be happy but then again he could have been happy in the moment but then a couple days later thought about it and felt hey if the girl did this with me and then who else did she do this with and the whole yatta yatta crap. I mean I don’t know for sure if it’s that but it is highly highly possible. Ugh I’m soo mad! Respect is huge in both our families so I’m like damn why did I go and do this???! And yeah he is straight lol… I mean if he did lose some respect, does that change the way I should deal with the situation? or better yet what am I supposed to do? He wanted and got it. Guys will likely think of it that way especially if one comes from a traditional upbringing. Could be that he is feeling guilty by participating in phone sex, who knows? Are you guys not talking to one another at all at this point?
Lee725 Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 he could have been happy in the moment but then a couple days later thought about it and felt hey if the girl did this with me and then who else did she do this with and the whole yatta yatta crap. This does happen. My X asked me after we broke up if i kissed all the guys in my life the way that i kissed him! I must have had an impact on him...
LoveIsABeauty Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 (edited) Wait I’m not really understanding the guys will likely think part could you elaborate please thanks! But yeah we are not talking at this point. He can’t contact me and I haven’t contacted him because the way he “left” if you want to call it that was so brutal that I just couldn’t deal with it. So no we haven’t been talking. Full story is at the link I just posted so check it out if you want. It will make it clearer I think… Oh you might be right he may feel guilty. That’s actually something I haven’t really thought about. I know I’m feeling guilty though. The thing is the way he left…it felt as if I had something to do with it or something. He sounded a bit mad…maybe that was guilt talking lol. Like you said who knows? But damn I’ll give anything to just know so I could deal with it and do whatever needs to be done. Lee725 hahahahahaha Isn’t that the truth!! So many stories like that from my friends!! I guess I should have known better lol!! I wonder if it's too late to do anything about it. Funny though its not like we haven't touched or anything but I guess the phone thing was a bit much. Weird since he literally begged for it but what can you do Edited January 17, 2008 by LoveIsABeauty
Leia Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Wait I’m not really understanding the guys will likely think part could you elaborate please thanks! But yeah we are not talking at this point. He can’t contact me and I haven’t contacted him because the way he “left” if you want to call it that was so brutal that I just couldn’t deal with it. So no we haven’t been talking. Full story is at the link I just posted so check it out if you want. It will make it clearer I think… What I meant was guys tend to think girls who have phone sex or whatever tend to do it with every walking TDH. My ex thought I made out with alot of guys just coz I like to try out new things or do certain things and not the other. It's just preferences, does not make anyone promiscuous.
LoveIsABeauty Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Well how fun!! And when guys ask us why we are prunes we can just say they made us this way I mean we don't want them to think that we do this with all guys now do we Men men men. This guy messed my mind up. Now i'll be like with every guy I go out with um I can't kiss you because I don't want you to leave me. And he would be like why would I leave you? And I'll be like because of all the other guys you think I kissed..well isnt that just perfect.
serial muse Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 (edited) No! Don't go down that road; I don't see here that you did anything wrong. I read your other thread, and let me tell you: I don't think the phone sex had anything to do with it. After reading that thread, the first thing that I thought was that yes, there was someone else. I'm sorry. I know you kept saying that it doesn't seem likely that he'd suddenly find someone within the two weeks since you'd talked...and I agree. But the thing is, you've been in an LDR for five months. He may have found someone in that time, I'm sorry to say. He may, in fact, have been leading two people on for some time - until he got caught. The only other explanation that seems to fit is the possibility that he got some sort of wrong idea about you - NOT the phone sex thing, but word from his family or some other source that knows you both that suggested something off to him. Is that possible? One other thing that confused me - you said that after that phone sex conversation, he was all loving and begged you to call the next day. Did you? Because it sounded like you said you didn't call for two weeks. Did I read that wrong? Edited January 18, 2008 by serial muse
LoveIsABeauty Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Well here we go again. Yeah well I’m not going to argue because anything’s possible I guess. He could be seeing someone else. It doesn’t make any sense to me but since you all say that he is seeing someone else maybe its true. I just feel that if you’re seeing someone else run fast. Don’t drag everything out. If you read my post you saw how he acted on the phone I’m still confused about that. It’s just that he couldn’t have been with anyone. The way he was with me...like seriously I don’t think so. I mean really. When you want to be with someone but have someone else you have that other person for sex not to discuss your future together not to discuss your love for each other. I never even slept with the guy and still during the distance he was as in love with me as when we were together. Nothing changed. Things just got better. Well, if he’s seeing someone else good for him. If he left me for her well then he’s not the guy for me. I mean what could I do about it really? Yeah I was thinking about that. About maybe he got the wrong idea about me from someone. Maybe he told his mom about me, which he wanted to do and maybe she told him he can’t be with me because my parents won’t accept it or something. No idea really she could have said anything. I mean my mom probably talked about me to his mom so I don't know. My God if it has something to do with his mom. I mean his mom loves me. Anyways I don’t know if it could be someone else. I got along great with his family and everyone so I don’t know how they could say something bad about me. The only thing that makes sense is the thing with his mom if that even happened. I have no idea really but to some extent it does make sense now that I think about it. But yeah he begged for me to call him back and sadly I didn’t. Not my choice. Money issue. But yeah it’s normal though. Like we don’t talk every week because it’s so expensive. But its not just phone sex it was more. We had a discussion about us and he told me he wouldn’t ever hurt me and all that. Yeah he really sounds like a man who has a girl. Whatever. I just want to know what to do!!
bloodaye Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 how bout we get this straightened out,its not loose its lose,i see this so often it drives me crazy,im mean cmon.
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