OpenBook Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 CraigAllen, your posts really got to me!! This one made my heart melt... in complete admiration for your W and how beautifully she expresses her love for you: My wife gets up nearly every morning at 6:00 AM to exercise... She takes the time to shop for clothes that flatter her. She spends a great deal of time on hair and make-up... The point is that it is the effort that matters. It is just another way for her to express her love for me. But this one made my arm-hairs bristle: Women get angry with men because they are more focused on physical appearance from a sexual standpoint. Well, guess what? They are. Women that realize this are much better off. It is the truth, and the way the world works. And I HATE that fact. It shouldn't matter what you look like, it should matter what's in your heart. But unfortunately, that is not how men operate. Nor women and children either, for that matter. The only thing that makes me feel better about it is thinking of it this way -- that the effort one puts into one's personal appearance is a manifestation of what's inside. Not the ONLY manifestation (nor the most important one) but it IS one of the clearest indicators to others of what and whom they're dealing with. It is one of the ways we "teach others how to treat us." If we don't care what we look like, others will take that as an indicator that we don't care about ourselves - and they have a tendency to follow our lead (they won't care about us either).
ritamae Posted January 19, 2008 Posted January 19, 2008 It was not weight - it was stretch marks. They do not go away with eating healthier or exercise. They are here to stay, unless you have surgery. Then that ugly scar will be what turns him off. I personally think the stretch marks being the evidence of what your wife sacrificed and went through to give birth to your children should be beautiful and make you feel warm inside when you think of it. I think there is way more to this than stretch marks or even weight if that is also in the mix. I think you have lost feelings for your wife. That is something that happens in a relationship. It is time to start building the feelings back up. That is not going to happen with the elimination of stretch marks or some weight loss. You need to dig deep and see what work needs to be done to get those feelings back. Yup - you need to work at it. Put in the effort.
mlinder Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 I think if you feel this way about your wife you never really loved her, you just think you do. You probably lust after her body, that is all.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 21, 2008 Posted January 21, 2008 You probably lust after her body, that is all. If that were the case, would he start a thread called "Sexual attraction to my wife" ??? Mr. Lucky
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