BabbleAlong21 Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 I recently started a long distance relationship with a friend of mine. He lives over seas and welve known each other a very long time with feelings of more that friends. I love him whole heartedly. Problem is the distance. Now last time I saw him was 2 years ago. Which I know is a very long time. I plan on going over there to see him this february. Is this good? Should we have started this relationship b4 I go to see him. It won't be the first time we meet so its nothing like that, I already know the chemistry is there in person. But I'm just not sure. Thing is a guy I know over here likes me and we've been hanging out. Which my newly appointed boyfriend knows about, do I continue? What are the parameters that are normally set up in an ldr? This is my first ever but I gues mee and him have been in one for a very long time, we've always had feeling for each other. We talk constantly whether its by phone, email, or txt. So I'm just not sure. How do I approach him about this? I know that if he were to meet a girl there and he just need a hook up, that's fine with me. I can't do it for him and we don't see eachother enough. What would I say to get this across without sound like I wanna see other people? Help pleaze
TMichaels Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Problem is the distance. Now last time I saw him was 2 years ago. Which I know is a very long time. I plan on going over there to see him this february. Is this good? Depends. Why are you going to see him? What expectations do you/he have for the visit? Whose idea was it to get together? Should we have started this relationship b4 I go to see him. It won't be the first time we meet so its nothing like that, I already know the chemistry is there in person. But I'm just not sure. ??? What's your definition of "a relationship?" ??? Again, what is the purpose of the two of you getting together? Why does it matter whether you have a "relationship" already in place in order to visit him? Thing is a guy I know over here likes me and we've been hanging out. Which my newly appointed boyfriend knows about, do I continue? Well, what do YOU want? An exclusive relationship or a casual one? What are the parameters that are normally set up in an ldr? This is my first ever but I gues mee and him have been in one for a very long time, we've always had feeling for each other. We talk constantly whether its by phone, email, or txt. So I'm just not sure. There is no one recipe for a successful LDR relationship. Depends on the two people involved and what they decide works best for them. "Feelings," however, aren't the only requirements of a "relationship" -- long distance or otherwise. Relationships require open communication, honesty, trust and commitment. Are you willing to do that? How do I approach him about this? I know that if he were to meet a girl there and he just need a hook up, that's fine with me. I can't do it for him and we don't see eachother enough. What would I say to get this across without sound like I wanna see other people? You can't do what for him? Remain faithful? Again, what do you want? Continue to have a friendship with your long-distance friend or have a committed relationship with him? If it's the former, you can see whomever and do as you please. If it's the latter, the odds you two will be able to survive in a LDR are slim. Truthfully, it sounds like to me you are putting the cart before the horse, here. Why are you worrying so much about how to act, think or feel in respect to your long-distance friend, now? Why don't you go visit, see how things go, talk with him, and together decide what/where you'd like your "friendship" to be? Do that, and it should be a lot clearer to you what you'd like to do about the local guy you've been hanging out with, or anyone else local. To try and "have all the answers" before you even know/understand all the questions seems a little premature to me. Best of luck, TMichaels
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