bmrrll07 Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 i'm seeing a guy now for just over two weeks now we work together and had been flirting sence i started to work there and two weeks ago we ended up hanging out after shift at work talking and he gave me his number a few days latter i hung at work after shift and he ended up hanging out after his shift which we spent the time talking agian and i asked him out for new years eve which he said ya aslong as we both got out of work early enough well i ended up drinking alittle to much and i don't drink and drive so he avited me to hang at his place to sober up sence he lives a couple mins walking distance from work we talked some more ended up cuddleing while watching a movie and one thing led to another and slept to gether we talked about taking it slow because we work to gether and i when i see him we talk and watch a movie or tv and end up having sex but he don't call or anything on the off days i know hes been hurt in the past and the last time when i was leaving he told me that he don't get emotional attacted easly and that he was sorrry that we ended up haveing sex so soon which seem out of the blue i just told him that i was happy how things where going and not to worry about it but i'm not sure if he is useing me for sex or just really wants to take it slow and get to know each other
EYECANDY000 Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 What is your question? and also welcome to Loveshack! just to let you know your story is a little hard to follow because its missing a lot of ......... and ,,,,,,,,,,,
fishtaco Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Punctuation is your friend. For people that don't get attached from sex, it doesn't matter. If a relationship is going to progress to exclusivity, it will workout anyway. If it's not, sex won't save it. Because there are other issues to consider such as personality and compatibility that are much more important then something trivial like "did you have sex too early". So the question is really can you handle it? If you get attached after sex, then you probably shouldn't have had sex with him. Not because of the sex, but because it's too early to tell if you two are compatible. If you don't get attached from sex, then I hope you had a great time, and moving forward is just the same as any other "dating" situation -- you spend more time together, get to know each other more, see if you two are a good match, and run away if you see any warning signs. It's better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. I think he's just being honest. If he's playing you he shouldn't have told you that whole don't get emotionally attached thing. Because now you'll think twice before having sex with him again, he's actually ruining his chances. But just because he doesn't seem to be playing you doesn't mean you won't get hurt. First date, second date, or even third date don't mean crap. Only time you are guaranteed an exclusive relationship is when you get into one. If after hanging out for two weeks you find out that you two are not a good match, he'll be fine because he's not attached, but you'll be hurt. So I hope for your sake you're not the attached type. As for using you for sex, that only applies if 1) you didn't enjoy it. If it's an activity enjoyed by both, no one is being used. 2) you have unrealistic expectation that sex = exclusive relationship, but that's something you have to realize is simply not true. I learned these lessons from women. I used to think sex meant something long time ago when I was young and dumb. Now I know it just means you are physically attracted to each other and nothing more. A successful relationship requires much more than just that. The most important concept here is -- don't assume anything.
Enema Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 LoL, that is one sentence? If I can fall back to common stereotypes and judge you by your literacy... my theory is you're smoking hot... at least a 12 out of 10. He's probably using you for sex.
spookie Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Do you know what punctuation is? You should use it sometimes, just occasionally. I looked over what you wrote and what I gathered is that you hung out with him once, had sex, and he's been avoiding you since? Or have you continued dating? If it's option 1, yes, you were "used". I woudln't say you were played since playing implies some level of deception and what occurred was your typical run-of-the-mill ONS. If you're still hanging out, then stop having sex with him if it makes you uncomfortable and see where things go.
birdmadgirl Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 If I can fall back to common stereotypes and judge you by your literacy... my theory is you're smoking hot... at least a 12 out of 10. He's probably using you for sex. That might be the most amusing thing I've seen all day. Now I'm going to go back and attempt to read the post. Sorry, OP!
birdmadgirl Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Ordinarily, I try to avoid making such comments (especially when they've already been made), but the lack of punctuation really detracts from the message. Assuming the title of this thread is the question you're asking, I would say no. If you're having a good time, just go with it. Of course, if you want a serious relationship, it doesn't sound like he's going to be game.
Author bmrrll07 Posted January 22, 2008 Author Posted January 22, 2008 i've decided to just ask him up front whats going on. thank you fishtaco for you adivce
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