underpants Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Yep. That is what I am doing. A handsome man likes me and when he talks to me I well up on the inside. This is not good.
Phateless Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Yep. That is what I am doing. A handsome man likes me and when he talks to me I well up on the inside. This is not good. What's wrong sweetie? Why are you scared?
momma3179 Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Not every guy you meet is out to hurt you, you know? I'm assuming that you have been hurt pretty bad in the past and that is why you put up walls... I think we have all been there at some point. Are you interested in this man?
Author underpants Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 Thanks guys, I did mean well up. Don't worry, I didn't cry in front of him. I just felt a sadness/fear/subtle panic that I can't put my finger on. He asked me out and I got slightly terrified. That sucks. I know (logically) that all men are not out to hurt me. Maybe I have just been alone for so long that it really feels uncomfortable to think about letting other people into my life. Especially given that he has expressed a romantic interest. I need to address it though.
johan Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Maybe I have just been alone for so long... How long has it been?
Touche Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Undies, don't be that way. Don't think of it as romantic interest. Think of it as friendship. Like meeting a new friend. I mean you came out to meet, right? Wasn't I kind of like a stranger in a way? And we spent hours laughing and talking. So it's really no different. You don't seem like the type of person who shies away from new experiences to me. Go for it!
Author underpants Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 How long has it been? Long, long, long, long, long, long....long...time. Undies, don't be that way. Don't think of it as romantic interest. Think of it as friendship. Like meeting a new friend. I mean you came out to meet, right? Wasn't I kind of like a stranger in a way? And we spent hours laughing and talking. So it's really no different. You don't seem like the type of person who shies away from new experiences to me. Go for it! I would like to think of it like that but there is some pressure. It's weird, or I'm weird? I should contact him and confront it. I kind of left it hanging and that is not cool. I might be one of those people not suited for dating. (I think too much)
Touche Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Long, long, long, long, long, long....long...time. I would like to think of it like that but there is some pressure. It's weird, or I'm weird? I should contact him and confront it. I kind of left it hanging and that is not cool. I might be one of those people not suited for dating. (I think too much) But you need to stop thinking of it as "dating." I learned that little trick from H. I've told that story. Yes, you should call him. Be casual and friendly and make plans. Stop thinking of it as embarking on a whole romance and "dating." Give the guy a chance, Undies. Give yourself a chance. Oh just wanted to add this...you say there's some pressure. From whom? From the guy or from you? I'll venture that it's the latter right? Stop putting pressure on yourself. It's really not necessary.
Author underpants Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 Alright, I will put on my big girl panties and talk to him. Thanks. I don't have his number so I will stalk him.
johan Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 There are people who have gone without longer than you have. Some long enough for their virginity to return. At least you're not that bad off. Yet. This is a great chance for you to avoid loserdom. I'm rooting for you.
Touche Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Alright, I will put on my big girl panties and talk to him. Thanks. I don't have his number so I will stalk him. Why am I picturing you in big grandma bloomers now? Good for you! I'm so proud of you. It'll be fine, you'll see. And you must update us on this, ok?
Phateless Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Thanks guys, I did mean well up. Don't worry, I didn't cry in front of him. I just felt a sadness/fear/subtle panic that I can't put my finger on. He asked me out and I got slightly terrified. That sucks. I know (logically) that all men are not out to hurt me. Maybe I have just been alone for so long that it really feels uncomfortable to think about letting other people into my life. Especially given that he has expressed a romantic interest. I need to address it though. I know what you mean. I'm pretty gun-shy after my last relationship, and the idea of allowing myself to be vulnerable again doesn't sound so cool. Real feelings are scary and I don't know what it's gonna be like the next time I try to open up to someone.
Trialbyfire Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Hey unders. I know how you feel. I even get jittery considering a date and have turned them down. It's "me" time right now. Touche's advice is good, especially since you've been single for awhile now. Take it slow and easy. Have some fun.
Storyrider Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I agree. What's the worst that can happen on a first date? You could scare him away and then he would stop bothering you. It is a win-win situation.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Yep. That is what I am doing. A handsome man likes me and when he talks to me I well up on the inside. This is not good. Are you naturally shy? I wouldn't have guessed that, but you are a tough nut to crack! Unders, a nice, good looking guy, is interested. You must show some interest back , elst he will bolt!
Florida Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Maybe you are just not that into him, even though you feel you should be?
Author underpants Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 I agree. What's the worst that can happen on a first date? You could scare him away and then he would stop bothering you. It is a win-win situation. Actually, I am very talented in this area.
Author underpants Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 Okay, I made a big strange move. I roll like that...
johan Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Okay, I made a big strange move. I roll like that... Is this email... post-coital? Is that what your strange move was? How exactly did you roll?
dropdeadlegs Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I've been meaning to get back to you concerning this all day! Big strange move? Elaborate, please. I need details. I also want to know what "welling up on the inside" means to you. I was intoxicated last night, but I'm good now. Welling up means crying to me, and I don't think that was your meaning.
Author underpants Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 Is this email... post-coital? Is that what your strange move was? How exactly did you roll? Beyond the virtual imagination and realm. Yet cosmic and karmic at the same time. Simple yet confusing, I am.
johan Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Beyond the virtual imagination and realm. Yet cosmic and karmic at the same time. Simple yet confusing, I am. Confusing for sure. Not sure about the other part.
Author underpants Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 I sound like Yoda...sorry. I was vey brave, (for me) and found a super creative way to give my number to this guy.. He was all " Unders you are the coolest chich I have ever known". Of course I am like ... you got that right. We shall see what the future may bring.
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