MissingMyHubby Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 To make it short, I was set up with a girl about 2 months ago now. She came home over x-mas break for 3 weeks and we hung out numerous times, I met her family and she met mine. We slept at my buddies house a few times (I live at home so her sleeping here won't jive well) and so forth. We have gone to the movies and eaten out as well. I still have not raised any questions to her regarding our status quo. I really want to. She has never told me she likes me or anything about me, persay, as I have not either. It is really starting to eat at away at me that she has not once initiated any sort of questions regarding where this is going. She is back at college now (4 hours away) and has told me I am welcome to come down anytime. I do not think she would be wasting my or hers time if this relationship of ours was just a fling; just my gut feeling. But I do want to ask her things in an appropriate manner (Like this perhaps: "Hey, I was curious what you thought about us and also where this is headed.") Anyone care to share ideas? I do not want to continue the path of "just keep doing what you are doing and things will fall into place etc." I have another piece unrelated here: Bear with me: #1. She asked me to go to her college homecoming. I said I couldn't attend but that she should bring her ex as a backup .(just joking of course, she knew) She replied saying yada yada and that she does have a backup. Im guessing she wanted me to be baited to ask her who the backup man was but I didn't, and just said thanks anyways. She then called me and said "Hey, tell my coach (she runs Track for a local college) that I am taking ***** to homecoming and see what his reaction is." I was like "oookay?" (I guess the kid she is bringing is a freshman dorky kid who she doesn't really fancy?) I have no idea where she was going with that stuff. #2. My life situation involves me working a dead end job that pays alright (15/hr) and I live at home and I am a college graduate. I am doing this simply because I am banking all my money and simultaneously training for the olympic trials in the marathon (no joke). Most people do not understand this lifestyle of "postponing adulthood" but she does. Her mom and sister have both criticised me to her in ways concerning this and she sort of defended me. Part of me doesn't even feel like dealing with trying to win over parents/siblings with my lifestyle choice, but I also know it is not her fault. Any advice?
oppath Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 #2. My life situation involves me working a dead end job that pays alright (15/hr) and I live at home and I am a college graduate. I am doing this simply because I am banking all my money and simultaneously training for the olympic trials in the marathon (no joke). Most people do not understand this lifestyle of "postponing adulthood" but she does. The olympic trials for the marathon are over. RIP Ryan Shay. I take it you are aiming for 2012? I do understand that lifestyle quite well as a former Junior National provisional qualifier. It's admirable as you only have a few years after college unless you are elite enough to obtain elite coaching or semi-sponsorship. It's great that you found a woman who supports this. If that is your goal, a LDR will be difficult. You have to live eat and sleep running, planning your meals and even when you sh*t around your runs (no pun intended). How many times have you actually seen her? How often do you talk? Have you had sex with her? Does she initiate contact with you ~50% of the time? Does she call/text/email to say "thanks" after you've taken her out? At some point, you just need to ask her "I'd like us to date exclusively" and risk being rejected. You need to go all balls out and lay it on the line. When I ran track I didn't know how to race right and always laid it on the line, putting myself in a position to win even though it was unrealistic, sacrificing a better time in the hopes that I'd somehow have one of those races where it's just there for a little longer. You may have to sacrifice that good time -- your esteem, risking being rejected -- by putting yourself in position to win, asking her to be exclusive.
Author MissingMyHubby Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 (edited) yes, goal is 2012. I have run a 68 half marathon in training, and just ran a 50:20 10 miler this weekend, negative splitting by 35 seconds the 2nd half. she understands my lifestyle, she has run in the 17s for 5k. I just dont know what to do about asking her out officially *you said to just do it and rish rejection*, which is fine, but i am not sure about my other questions regarding her family/sister critiquing me (they see me having a degree but not using it, and thus see it as a waste), and also her thing with the dude she's bringing to homecoming. thanks to answer your questions: no sex, everything but. we talk 4-5 times a week on the phone we have hung out probably 15 seperate occasions now and the calling is probably 60 her 40 me Edited January 16, 2008 by MissingMyHubby
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