amythan Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I am feeling very bad with this relationship and i do not know how i should interpretate all these mixed signals so i would really appreciate your advise. We know each other from a long time ago and last summer we started kind of ldr. It was not really meant to be and he finished it just shying away. I was really hurt but we discussed and i realised he was right. We continued sending lots of emails every day but for me it was too difficult to deal with it and i asked him to be back together of give me some time without contact to take a step back. When i felt ready we started to talk again on a more healthy basis, not lots of emails everyday. Problem is last time i was in the uk he gave a stupid excuse to do not see me. When i pointed this out he said :'i want to spend time with you and catch up but timing was difficult'. I accepted feeling very sad but i didn't want to over react. I am going again and when i asked to meet he said 'we will have to see because i can be fired', which I think is true. My problem is, I do not want to be demanding or pushy because he is having a dificult time. BUT i need to organise my time and a friend is supposed to be with you during difficult times. We do not have that many opportunities to see each other and both of us have to put some effort if we want to be friends. I do not want to lose his friedship but friends are supposed to make you feel good not awkward ... and here I never know what should be misunderstood or how to act. Is he just trying to avoid me because he has not romantic feelings for me anymore ? If this is the case it would be easier to speak up and I would not fool myself anymore. Am I expecting too much from his just because we had some intimancy during the past ? I do not have any romantic intention at all but i really care about him and i would like to keep him in my live. Am I being too demanding ?? I also have problems and i try to be fair and respectful with everyone. Thank you very much for reading this and give me your opinion.
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 It's clear you aren't meant to be together. You needed to back off and when you did he did too. And now he doesn't want to get close to you anymore because you put him in the friend zone. He probably just thinks you are calling him so that you will have someone to hang out with in the UK. That's what I would think. I'm not good enough for a relationship but good enough to hang out with. You probably hurt him bad. And he probably feels better when you're not in his life.
Author amythan Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Well, he was the one who decided our relationship was not meant to be. I was terribly hurt because I was really in love but once i toke a step back i decided that he will also have a place in my heart as a friend. I am sure he was really sad when we broke up but it was his choice and i am being more that civil and understanding - his behaviour was more that hurtful and coward. I made so much effort always trying to show i will always be here for him but i need to feel i am also important to him. Not his priority but just important. I do not like to feel bad, just ask a friend to meet and talk. If he is better without me truth is always the best way to go.
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 If he is better without me truth is always the best way to go. His actions are telling you that though, aren't they? Him not wanting to see you says alot. You shouldn't need to hear it in words to get what he is telling you.
Author amythan Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Thank you for your message. I think you are right, acts speak louder than words. I was just confused because we always tell me 'do not be silly, i also want to be friends!' but perhaps he was just feeling guilty ... Who knows but it does not matter, right ?
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