ali0812 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. I am 27 and he is 24. We have been through a lot together, and even though some of it was tough and hurt at times I am really glad that I stuck through it. We have really grown together and he is my best friend. A lot of people lately have been bugging me about when we are going to get married. My mom is always bringing it up to me, she was really disappointed when he didnt propose to me on Christmas. Most of my friends are married and have at least one child. I am not worried about it, and I never have worried about it, I am not feeling like I have to get married soon or anything. I know I want to marry him, but I feel like we will when its the right time. Not that if he asked me now I would say no, but I am not worried about it. It doesnt bother me. What does bother me is my mom and my friends asking why he hasnt asked me yet, or when are we going to get married, or saying that there must be a problem if he hasnt yet, or he must not be sure . So i just want to know, is it weird that he hasnt asked me after 5 years? We have talked about it plenty of times. I know he wants to, and he talks about future children and all of that. So I just want to hear other peoples opinions thats all.
birdmadgirl Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 For the sake of argument, I'd say if he had trouble discussing it at this point, I'd be concerned, but that's just me (and I've been there before). According to your post, he doesn't, so I think you're golden. You can't really hold things like that to a neat timeline. Provided YOU are comfortable with the rate at which your relationship is progressing, outside opinions shouldn't matter.
malaclypse Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Grow up and stop worrying so much about what other people think. As long as you are happy, why should you force something that neither you nor him seem to really want at the moment...
amymarieca Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 I went through this situation not too long ago with a boyfriend of 8 years. Sadly it did end about a month ago because I wanted to get married and he just wasn't interested. Hopefully you won't end up there. As far as your family goes, do you really care what they think? It is about what you want because you are the one who would be going through with it. It should happen when you are both ready.
pinkFirm Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 I'm going through the same as you are.. I just figured that maybe he isn't sure im the girl he wants to marry. I gave up in thinking about marriage. We live togther, but that as far as it gets. And we are both comfortable with living together. Just tough it out, and if its meant to be then he will eventually ask one day.
trueluV Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 I had a similar situation: my boyfriend of 5 years and I talked about our future, children, and all that, and I was that time 27, he 26. Of course I wanted to get married with him, but I didn't want to force things plus 26 for a guy is still pretty early for marriage, so I kept things calm. But the problem was the people around me kept asking when I'm gonna get married, if he has been with you that long he should propose,,,all that!! So sometimes I got so caught up with those, I did ask him a few times or told him people are asking, do you really want it . and eventually I guess it gave him a lot of pressure, and he couldn't take it at one point. we broke up, finally, and I think the main reason to that was the pressure of marriage from me/people around me. 2 years past since, and if I look back, I think it was a bad choice to have kept asking him those questions which I heard from other people. That time I felt like they were right, but I suggest you don't get too much affect from people around you about your relationship. It is your relationship after all. Just follow what you think is best, and do not try to listen and take what other people say too much. You are the only one who knows what's best. From your post, sounds exactly same as my situation before, and he seems like a decent guy -he has already brought up that talk about future with you-so, now, don't pay so much attention to what other people say about marriage, don't keep telling or asking him too. He will or you guys will talk about it again when the time is right. Don't worry about it!
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