Dissolution yesterday, guess I'll feel better with more time.

[Delarocha]

Greetings everyone. It's been over a year since my first post here, and what a rough year it's been.

 

Well, yesterday was the big day in court. Of course I didn't have much to worry about being that I took on ALL the debt in our separation agreement in exchange for me keeping the house. (Not a very good deal, but I was in a lot of pain when I agreed... and looking back, admittedly hopeful for some kind of reconciliation.) The process in my case was over in literally 15 minutes, and seemed so surreal. I was so worried that I would break down and get emotional, but really was numb the entire time. My ex and I decided we would actually meet up, get coffee, and drive there together. We both do want to remain friends (to some degree), but it has been a lot harder for me being the dump-ee.

 

Anyway, I guess I was really hoping today would be different somehow, but I actually feel worse than I have in a long while. I do not love this woman anymore like I once did, but I still grieve for something and I'm not sure what. What is it that makes me choke back tears thinking about the loss of some idealistic American dream life? I have great friends, family, and a great job... yet I feel empty and most of all lonely.

 

I know a lot of you are going through similar pain. I know all too well now, that time does heal wounds... not nearly fast enough for most of us. All I can do is continue going to therapy, and the gym and try to stay away from getting into my self pity sessions.

 

Thanks for listening...

[Ronni_W]

Congrats on doing all that you can! It really does help with moving through the grieving...not necessarily 'faster' but at least 'better'.

 

It's different for everyone, I guess. For me, it was the loss of a very personal dream and vision that I used to have of how my life would look.

I took it that the emptiness was about that -- the space where the dreams and visions used to live. Then we slowly put new stuff in there and, over time, it feels different.

 

Sending hugs -- yesterday was indeed a big one for you, on many levels.

[Confused9]

I am sorry you are having a tough time. I don't really have much words of advice but I wanted to say that I am hoping for you some strength and happiness during this time.

[amaysngrace]

I'm sorry your marriage failed. Yeah it can be crushing when you know the life you wanted is over and all your dreams go down the drain. I've been there myself and I was the dump-er. Even then it sucked.

 

I only have one suggestion to help you move through the healing process more quickly...sell that house and move someplace else. Get a fresh start in a new home. Otherwise you will deal with the pain everytime you walk in the door or sit home at night alone in your living room.

 

I hope you feel better soon.