PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Okay so since my 'so called boyfriend' decided he didnt want to talk to me over a week but yet will 'talk to me when our planned events that we had already paid for come through' what does that tell me? .. i mean if you love someone that much you're not gonna sit there & say 'oh well i need space ill talk to you when we go to our planned destinations' If he wanted to break up with me why didnt he just do it, is it the fact that i had bought the concert ticket & room for him valentines day weekend as a gift & the fact that i had bought half his flyers ticket, yes he owes me the other half of the money , for valentines day too? .. i mean.. he sure doesnt want to talk to me (because he's a moody/tempered jerk) He's the guy who's never there for me & never wants to do anything i want to do but yet when it comes to things he wants to do .. we actually do it.. thats my long story short, i feel like he doesnt even love me anymore .. i'm starting to feel like hes using me but i just dont understand why he wouldnt have broken up with me by now, there have been times in the past where we've broken up & still done things together. His myspace still says "in a relationship" , i'm still on the same spot on his 'top list' and i'm still listed as his girlfriend, however... i've never done anything to his parents & over the weekend they took me off their top list? its like what the hell. so whatever.. thats my story.. help.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Well... The 'raging fire' had started a couple days after christmas with his big attitude, it all began there & it made me feel like all of a sudden he didnt want me around, Considering we were hanging out everyday september til about november & then december was a couple days a week its almost devistating, then again with this relationship its every couple of months he feel like he needs a 'break' but i still just dont understand, i'm a great girlfriend a great person, i do whatever he needs me to do .. if he wanted me to bring him lunch to work , i'd do it.. them kind of things, i just dont understand this whole thing right now... i figured if i typed more about it i'd get more responses hopefully.. thanks..
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 It sounds to me like he treats you like crap and you are allowing him to. You really shouldn't ask others what his deal is, you should be asking him. Because what he is doing to you is just not right. He's using you, IMO. He broke things off right after Christmas, how convenient for him. Did you buy him nice presents? Honestly I would end it with this guy once and for all. He's walking all over you and leaving you to feel trampled on. That's not love.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 well i figured i'd give him his 'space' he had asked for & talk to him in person about it tomorrow, if i were to talk on the phone with him he could hang up, if i go to his house he could tell me to leave, or he'd ignore me and play on his world of warcraft. So anyways, Tomorrow is when i'll see him & he will get a mouth full.
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I think the problem is that you give too much without getting enough in return. You sound like you have a lot of really sweet qualities. Why would you want to waste them on a jerk who doesn't appreciate how nice you are?
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 You're right, & i have to stop listening to my heart -- "sometimes love just aint good enough" .. I am still inlove with him because he was completely different at one time & then i guess i had seen his "true colors" ... the " im an annoyance type thing" the feeling that he doesnt even want me there when all i'd want to do is spend time with him. I'd go to all of his family ordeals , he wouldnt go to mine, i'd cry when he wouldnt come to mine & he would just ignore me i guess he figured "she'll get over it" .. does it seem like a form of emotional abuse?
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 does it seem like a form of emotional abuse? No not necessarily abuse but he's a d-bag for treating you like crap. But you can't change this guy, or anyone for that matter. You can only work on yourself. If I were you I would be a bit more assertive. You need to stand up for yourself and not allow this treatment to be tolerated by him or anyone. You're not a toilet...no one should sh-t on you. In fact you sound to be a pretty great GF. You put up with a lot in the hopes of true love. There's nothing wrong with wanting romance. The right guy will eat that up with a spoon. Spoon.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 i hate the fact that i'm still inove with him, i hate the fact that i only want to be with him right now... what the hell is wrong with me. He's the type of guy who wouldnt even go to my own grandmothers funeral a couple of years ago ; or any other love ones whos passed on. I feel like he has no respect for me really.
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 i hate the fact that i'm still inove with him, i hate the fact that i only want to be with him right now... what the hell is wrong with me. He's the type of guy who wouldnt even go to my own grandmothers funeral a couple of years ago ; or any other love ones whos passed on. I feel like he has no respect for me really. There's nothing wrong with you. Like I said before you seem to be a very nice person. But unfortunately there are predators who prey on the goodness of others. And as long as you keep giving they will keep on taking. If you don't get angry when they don't treat you right and speak up about it to them then they will never know how what they're doing is affecting you. Instead you keep it all bottled up and feel like crap about it. You aren't wrong to feel the way you do. I think anybody who has been treated like you've been would feel just as bad. I think you are having a normal reaction.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 i think i've let it go on for too long, its been 3 years.. almost 2 months.. He's not changing.. when things dont go his way he gets mean. Its always his way or the highway. He'll tell me that he will do something with me & then that day it'll fail & he'll have an excuse.. i almost expect it.. i guess maybe because he's my first 'true love' this is why i'm havin this problem.. i mean i've had boyfriends before 6-7 months but i dont really count them as being real serious.. yanno?.. I also feel like when we do have the time apart i feel guilty of meeting new people or i'm afraid of going out and having fun incase i get a text message from him that'll ruin my mood kind of thing. I dont like the way he's tlaked to me the last time he did. the text message seemed pretty controlling. i had talked to his mom mom becuase i didnt know what to do as far as tickets to places or taking someone else considering he wasnt 'talking to me' and what he had said was awful mean. "ok first off .. stop going to my mommom . i dont go to your family or friends about anything so dont go to mine. second thing we have plans that are paid for and we are still going. third thing is i need space right now and im not contacting you again until those plans come" .. So now i feel like he's telling me who to talk to and who not to talk to, i'm not sure if the second thing he said is just a statement (maybe his mom mom had told him to straighten things out with me & let me know if we're going.. so that could go either way) and then for him to want space for that long? i mean c'mon i'm not stupid here.
malaclypse Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Try to return or e-bay the tickets, and cancel the room. Why would you want to spend time with that bastard anyway...It'll only make you feel worse. Free yourself.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 you're probably right , however i could probably try selling the concert tickets though the rooms are nonrefundable :-/ This guy is all about himself.
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 He doesn't want you talking to anybody yet he won't talk to you about the problems you guys are having? He's not a very nice guy. And he does sound borderline controlling. Not to mention emotionally unavailable to you. How fair is it of him to become unavailable when you need him? Instead he leaves you hanging. Yuck! You know what? Screw him. Tomorrow you are suppose to see him right? Maybe you need a break from him too. Maybe tomorrow isn't going to happen for you. Maybe you have something more important to do than see him? Screw him!
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Well any way he's ever broken up with me is in text messages, accept for the couple of times where we'd get into a fight and it would get really big/bad then i'd leave and we'd break up. I could probably see if my brother or someone wants to come to the game with me tomorrow, but then that wouldnt give me time to talk to him in person & ream him out the right way. I'm not gonna sit there and text him all this crap or im/ message / email.. thats immature to me, in my eyes, though sometimes its the only wayt to do it i guess.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 well of course he wouldnt want me going to his family about it .. like his mom mom.. because she'd know how much of an A**hole he's being you know? ..
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 You could wait until tomorrow to text him or wait until he texts you to find out what's up for the game. You could just tell him "sorry I had to break plans. ttyl". And then shut off your phone. But I would wait until as close to the game as possible. This way he won't be giving you a bunch of crap for the next 24 hours. It's hard to break up with someone who's become a habit. But it is do-able. And nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. So brace yourself. It'll be tough but so worth it in the end. When I am where you are now I try to think "I'd rather be alone than be with him".
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 this is gonna sound so pathetic... but i'm afraid of being the 'bitch of the situation' or i'm afraid he's gonna talk about me saying that i'm wrong i'm this im' that ... but i feel like.. what have i done wrong? he reverses everything... why am i putting myself through this.. i'm to nice thats my problem.i dont know if im strong enough to be like.. oh well sorry you cant go
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 this is gonna sound so pathetic... but i'm afraid of being the 'bitch of the situation' or i'm afraid he's gonna talk about me saying that i'm wrong i'm this im' that ... but i feel like.. what have i done wrong? he reverses everything... why am i putting myself through this.. i'm to nice thats my problem.i dont know if im strong enough to be like.. oh well sorry you cant go Screw him. He doesn't treat you right and that won't change unless you do. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. He had your niceness. He blew it. Too bad for him. Don't feel bad about that. It's not your fault he abused your niceness. But it will be your fault if you keep letting it happen. You aren't being mean to him. You're being kind to you.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 now that i think about it.... the last time we had talked was over a family matter & he pretty much didnt want to hear it.. some of his responses were... [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]you're upset and you want to drive and come over? its not gonna happen.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]ok im tired of you lookin at me as if im just your 'security blanket'[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]everytime we're together i get so bored and angry. when im at work or alone or when you leave i feel so relieved and i hate it[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]you wanna know why im distant[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Screw him. Take your brother to the game. And shut off your phone. Become unavailabe like he has been. He's no good. And if he is it's time he proves it to you. But you have to go away first because he can't miss you if you don't go away. Make him miss you. Make him come to you for a change. Three years is nothing. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why waste one minute more on this guy who in your words "doesn't respect you" and is "all about himself"?? You deserve a guy who has it in him to be all about you, at least some of the time. He sounds like he never is and that is just not good enough to be wasting your time or love on. All that love you gave him, well it's time you give it back to you now. He didn't do it so it's up to you to do it for yourself. It's pretty clear that this is his loss. He just doesn't know it yet.
malaclypse Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 this is gonna sound so pathetic... but i'm afraid of being the 'bitch of the situation' or i'm afraid he's gonna talk about me saying that i'm wrong i'm this im' that ... but i feel like.. what have i done wrong? he reverses everything... why am i putting myself through this.. i'm to nice thats my problem.i dont know if im strong enough to be like.. oh well sorry you cant go My impression is that a guy like him will talk negatively about you no matter what you do...don't worry so much. If you think you are too 'nice' - check out http://www.heartless-bitches.com They have some good articles on how to deal with losers and *******s...
sedgwick Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 This is a grown man who calls his mother "mom mom?" Warning sign number one. He's treating you like sh*t and you're taking it. Why would he make any more effort to treat you better? He doesn't have to. I'd be willing to bet that if you broke up with him, things would change. And if they didn't, really, do you want him? This guy has so much control over your life that you're not going out and living because you're afraid he might text you something negative. Even when you're not with him he's lessening your quality of life. I know there has to be a part of you that wants better than that.
Author PerfectXPretty Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 Hey all, sorry i had gone out for the day with my friends to the City Its actually his grandmother he calls mom mom . . but yeah.. SO today i put a hilary duff song on my myspace called "stranger" Nobody believes me when I tell them that you're out of your mind! Nobody believes me when I tell them that there's so much you hide You treat me like a queen when we go out, wanna show everyone what our love's about All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crowd But when no ones around [Chorus] Theres no kindness in your eyes The way you look at me, it's just not right I can tell whats going on this time Theres a stranger in my life You're not the person that I once knew Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do Then they would see a stranger too Did I ever do anything that was this cruel to you? Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room? You made yourself look perfect in everyway So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed Your plan is working so you can just walk away Baby your secret's safe Theres no kindness in your eyes The way you look at me, it's just not right I can tell whats going on this time [stranger lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com] Theres a stranger in my life You're not the person that I once knew Are you scared to let 'em know it's you? If they could only see you like I do Then they would see a stranger too Such a long way back, from this place we are at When I think of all the time I've wasted, I could cry Theres no kindness in your eyes The way you look at me, it's just not right I can tell whats going on this time Theres a stranger in my life You're not the person that I once knew Are you scared to let 'em know it's you? If they could only see you like I do Then they would see a stranger too Theres no kindness in your eyes The way you look at me, it's just not right I can tell whats going on this time Theres a stranger in my life You're not the person that i once knew Are you scared to let 'em know it's you? If they could only see you like I do Then they would see a stranger too and since i havent been online all day to check anything i come back & i see this song on his ... & his mood to "pissed off" so i'm thinking he probably checked my site... because now his song is mean.. however, the one before it he had on there was "seether - fake it" if you never heard it look the lyrics up.. now thinking he had a song 'against me' yeah i guess this is sounding immature but i thought.. ok ill express my feelings in a song too.. but it always seems as if he's trying to make me the 'bad guy' Artist:Egypt Central Album:Egypt Central Title:Over And Under [FONT=arial][sIZE=2]I know you’ll be there To see the tables turning Wake up tomorrow And watch the bridges burning Pre-chorus: I can see I can see it in your eyes I can feel I can feel it in my mind I don’t care I don’t care if you realize What you see What you see in my eyes Chorus: I’m over me being under you I’m breaking free I’m breaking through I’ve overcome all I’m underneath I can finally stand I can finally breathe Remember when we First had the thought of living A perfect picture But I did all the giving Gave up my passions To try to make you happy The joke is over And I’ll do all the laughing But its like.. what the hell did i do! he's the one who's started this whole thing.. not me![/sIZE][/FONT]
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