Krytie TV Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Spookie... dear. Of course he wasn't picking up on the signs you were throwing out. Spookie... he has Asperger's. He doesn't respond well to "contextual cues". You do understand that is a very real thing, right? And as for jumping his bones, I get the impression that physical contact bothers him. He pulled away from the hug... that suggests that he has serious boundary issues... not unusual. You're making this poor guy your experiment, and it's really rather disturbing. You're freaking me out. It sounds like he is nothing more than a conquest to you. You need to prove to someone that you can "win him over". Please , just prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not be able to be physically close to someone and that if you were to jump him, it may seriously disturb him. You may actually damage him. I hope your victory is worth it.
Author spookie Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 Spookie... dear. Of course he wasn't picking up on the signs you were throwing out. Spookie... he has Asperger's. He doesn't respond well to "contextual cues". You do understand that is a very real thing, right? And as for jumping his bones, I get the impression that physical contact bothers him. He pulled away from the hug... that suggests that he has serious boundary issues... not unusual. You're making this poor guy your experiment, and it's really rather disturbing. You're freaking me out. It sounds like he is nothing more than a conquest to you. You need to prove to someone that you can "win him over". Please , just prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not be able to be physically close to someone and that if you were to jump him, it may seriously disturb him. You may actually damage him. I hope your victory is worth it. No no no. I don't want to mess him up. I know it would be a lie to say "I care about him," cause I don't know him well enough to, but I know why I like him, and it isn't because he's a fun conquest. I like him because he is smart, funny, nice; because I enjoy spending time with him (when I don't think about how much smarter than me he is); and because he's a great guy. I am NOT in this just to stroke my ego. Nice guys on here are ALWAYS complaining that girls don't give them a shot. Well, here I am trying to, and you're telling me to run in the other direction? When I spoke to him over AIM, I actually mentioned that I hoped the hug didn't make him uncomfortable. He said that it didn't, and that he was actually glad that I asked. Maybe I'm crazy, but with this whole situation, I think two things are going on. I feel intellectually inferior, and he feels socially awkward. But, we enjoy each other's company, and it feels to me like if we were able to build some trust (in the fact that we like each other for who we are) it could be great. And, if the sexual tension between us is anything to go by, I think the chemistry could be amazing. Love is all about acceptance really. I just hope that he can accept me for being dumb.
Krytie TV Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Of course I hope you the best. Just understand and accept his limitations. And Spookie, go into this with your eyes wide open that if you are someone who needs your partner to "let you know where you stand" and need affirmation from your partner, you are fighting an uphill battle here. You will NOT be able to tell what he's thinking and his inability to "telegraph" emotions will become frustrating to you... and it's not his fault. Just understand that.
oppath Posted January 17, 2008 Posted January 17, 2008 Spookie, you are not dumb. Do not jump his bones. Make a move, but keep it to kissing. Pretend you are the 18 year old senior making out with your best friends 6 year old brother who has never been with a woman before. Seriously. Make small moves but allow him room to lead you. Just say "I really like you. Is it ok to kiss you?" The alternative is to grab his hand and just kiss him but if you do that, don't wait to the end of the date. Do it in the middle. And I agree with Krytie...it's not this guy's fault.
Author spookie Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 Spookie, you are not dumb. Do not jump his bones. Make a move, but keep it to kissing. Pretend you are the 18 year old senior making out with your best friends 6 year old brother who has never been with a woman before. Seriously. Make small moves but allow him room to lead you. Just say "I really like you. Is it ok to kiss you?" The alternative is to grab his hand and just kiss him but if you do that, don't wait to the end of the date. Do it in the middle. And I agree with Krytie...it's not this guy's fault. LMAO. My best friend's 6 year old brother? Alright. Next time I see him I'll pretend to be a pedophile.
Author spookie Posted January 17, 2008 Author Posted January 17, 2008 (edited) Spookie, you are not dumb. Do not jump his bones. Make a move, but keep it to kissing. Pretend you are the 18 year old senior making out with your best friends 6 year old brother who has never been with a woman before. Seriously. Make small moves but allow him room to lead you. Just say "I really like you. Is it ok to kiss you?" The alternative is to grab his hand and just kiss him but if you do that, don't wait to the end of the date. Do it in the middle. And I agree with Krytie...it's not this guy's fault. But I am dumb. I come closer to realizing the depth of my stupidity each day. Tonight he asked me how fast my laptop was. I was like "Umm... ughh.... I have no idea." With a look of shock on his face, he asked, "You can't even approximate?" And the truth is, nope, I can't. I don't even know what the measurement is for that. I'm a freaking retard. Edited January 17, 2008 by spookie
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