Leoni Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 When it CHANGED as in his WRITTEN information. I know that. It says it last changed in 2003. But his picture is another story....and when he last logged in doesnt show. Leoni I searched by his zip code and a range of his age. Two pages come up, but not him. In his profile i can see what city he put as his home city (aka zip) his age, race, etc. Ive searched with all, some and none of these things...he still doesnt come up. I think only the member that have been active in the last two months come up in the searches....but i dont know. I tried expanding the time but the longest "active" time is 90 days I went and pulled up a random zipcode in NY and did a search. It appears that some of the profiles show last online and others don't. I don't know if there's a way to hide your last online date or if it disappears after a certain length of time. 4giv, you still have a profile, I'm guessing. Check to see if there's an option to hide your last online information on your profile.
allina Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 instead of searching by last active can you search by closest match or something?
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 I went and pulled up a random zipcode in NY and did a search. It appears that some of the profiles show last online and others don't. I don't know if there's a way to hide your last online date or if it disappears after a certain length of time. 4giv, you still have a profile, I'm guessing. Check to see if there's an option to hide your last online information on your profile. Im checking with my friend's profile. Im gonna see if there's something liek that. ALthough i think that hte ones that dont come up with "last online" are the one s that are online at the moment
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 WELL.... there is an option where u can click if you dont want people to know when u last signed on.... lovely... back to square one.
Leoni Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 WELL.... there is an option where u can click if you dont want people to know when u last signed on.... lovely... back to square one. Standard on most sites, regardless if it's a dating site, is that the member can see when they last signed on. If he's being honest, I wonder if he'll give you sign-on access to his account, so you can see when he was last online.
allina Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 WELL.... there is an option where u can click if you dont want people to know when u last signed on.... lovely... back to square one. Don't im him or text him. Call him and be forward, without playing games or beating around the bush ask him why he is still a member of a dating site and how does he think that relates to you his GF.
Kamille Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 WELL.... there is an option where u can click if you dont want people to know when u last signed on.... lovely... back to square one. damn. so back to you will just have to decide whether or not you trust him. sorry 4givrnt4gtr.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Im not sure what to think of it. and its kind of hard to say since you guys spoke over instant messanger instead of phone. I guess by speaking with him over the phone you can really hear the since of honestly in his voice. If you really trust him then I would let it go and see what happens. did the site say when he last logged on?
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 damn. so back to you will just have to decide whether or not you trust him. sorry 4givrnt4gtr. Ughhhhhh!!!! this is such a rollercoaster Well i spent 2 hrs looking thru the profiles of local people. I found out the site will show the profiles of only those who have been active within the last two months. He wasnt in the list, so he hasnt been online at least since november. I think i will be talking to him about this in person anyway. Tell him why it upsets me so much and why i want him to get off of it... I wish he would do it on his own....but we'll see
Leoni Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Ughhhhhh!!!! this is such a rollercoaster Well i spent 2 hrs looking thru the profiles of local people. I found out the site will show the profiles of only those who have been active within the last two months. He wasnt in the list, so he hasnt been online at least since november. I think i will be talking to him about this in person anyway. Tell him why it upsets me so much and why i want him to get off of it... I wish he would do it on his own....but we'll see To be fair to him, are you planning to get rid of your profile, if you're going to discuss this with him?
marlena Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 You trust someone until he/she gives you sufficient cause to not trust him/her. In my opinion, if it is true, and he is continuing to fool around on dating sites while supposedly being exclusive, that is sufficient cause to stop tusting him. She should have this out with him face to face. For many, it would be a dealbreaker.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 To be fair to him, are you planning to get rid of your profile, if you're going to discuss this with him? I dont have one. I erased it before i even met him. I signed onto it just for kicks for a week or two, then got sick of the crazies. He kept contacting me thru yahoo. The reason i went back last nite was cuz my friend wanted me to help her fix her profile. Since i was already there i looked him up. It felt like a punch in the stomach too see the update. Puuuke!!!
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 You trust someone until he/she gives you sufficient cause to not trust him/her. In my opinion, if it is true, and he is continuing to fool around on dating sites while supposedly being exclusive, that is sufficient cause to stop tusting him. She should have this out with him face to face. For many, it would be a dealbreaker. Well, from what it seems that he hasnt been on the site for more than two months he is telling the truth. THat he hadnt logged on... I knew he still had the profile, and i never thought much of it since hes had it for a long time. I have profiles everywhere that i never use. But i agree with you. If i had found out he was active since december which was when we became exclusive, then yeah...he would have been gone. I dont need to put up with C r a p like that.
marlena Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Ok, then, calm down. When you see, tell him exactly the way you feel and that you would like him to take down his profile. Explain your reasons. Try to be in control of your emotions when you talk to him. See where it goes from there and continue with caution. OK?
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 continue with caution. OK?[/quote Exactly what my best friend said...great minds think alike
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 AHHHH figured out a way to see all the members who have been active inputing city and age. They go as far back as late september, early october. My Bf is not on the list...
lovesparis Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 i'm not sure why you had that conversation via text instead of f2f or at least on the phone. i would think you could get a lot more clarification if you approached the issue verbally.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 i'm not sure why you had that conversation via text instead of f2f or at least on the phone. i would think you could get a lot more clarification if you approached the issue verbally. I know...i should have talked to him...but when i saw it, it was almost midnite...I freaked out and started crying bc...seriously, i really REALLY dont want him to be another jerk. I cant handle another one. three is more than enough. In any case, I didnt want him to hear my voice all quivery and teary. I wanted to keep it cool to assess the situation. I couldnt wait to talk to him either cuz well...i wouldnt have been able to sleep.
D-Lish Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Okay, After 7 Months, and becoming official- the profile shouldn't even be there anymore. You aren't being controlling by confronting this. 7 months???? It shouldn't be up- not even as "inactive"... If I was with someone for 7 months and still had a profile posted- it would only be because I wasn't fully committed to my current relationship. I'd be super pissed.
rosalie Posted January 16, 2008 Posted January 16, 2008 Your poor thing, I've had that happen but not after 7 months not exactly a fling, I'd be bowl hanging myself too. You need to re-consider big time.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 So i was bored at work and scrolled down to the LAVA website. I decided to log in and check out my bf profile to see if something had changed after I confronted him about changing his pic (i never did ask him to take the whole thing down) I wasnt really expecting him to have taken the profile down since, well he can be a bit dense when it comes to whats sensitive and what isnt....but to my very delighted surprised he did take the whole thing down....without me asking (I double checked to see if he may have just changed the nickname, but he didnt come up either with or without pics when i did a search for his age and location) Good man, good man
MakeLemonade Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 That's great! All that worrying was probably for nothing, but now I guess you can feel even more confident he is being a good boy.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 That's great! All that worrying was probably for nothing, but now I guess you can feel even more confident he is being a good boy. Yup! he has a knack for proving himself over and over without me asking him to...he's a great guy
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